In honor of me currently being so deep in whatever shit hole this is :
Mentions:
-Depression
-talk of insanity
-death
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Your pov:
Waking up I ask myself why? I legit was hoping not to. Sometimes I question myself, not sometimes, often actually . People tell me I'm blessed, I'm smart yea? But what if one doesn't use it, they feel shitty for not succeeding. I feel like a failures I wanna cry and leave to a place no one knows me. Italy maybe? Somewhere far far away where I can do gardening maybe I'd find pleasure in other stuff I don't know?
How would I it's not like I know the feeling . I feel bad, really bad. I feel tired and sad. I wanna run yet I wanna lay down and do nothing , I wanna scream yet don't feel like talking or anything . Hogwarts should be the place of happiness, yet it's hard schools hard for me, I'm smart eh, my iq and brain somewhat doesn't what it's supposed to and I have no answer to the fucking why. I'm somewhat sad and somewhat also happy all the time my mood changes confuse me . My rhythms do too, I'm so blended my mind is foggy and very much so.
You know those dramatic ass muggle movies where they somewhat in their dreams end up in the middle of an ocean and you just see them peacefully sink to the bottom of the ocean, that shall be me please . I want that yes.
I have not one but too supportive boyfriends a healthy ass family which is incredibly unusual for me being a y/h . I have friends in healthy , I shouldn't feel like this and my circumstances should end up with me being brilliant , I could be perfect I have what it takes, so what I'm not though.
I wanna just leave . So I do. I leave . I don't tell anyone , I take a walk through the streets and woods and walk walk walk walk and never look back.
It's getting dark, no one is around me and I'm sad so I just lay down . The ground somewhat feels so good. It feels so calm. It's quiet here , my thoughts , they're not here with me . I smile.
I close my eyes and smile.
Draco and Theo's pov:
Y/n isn't here, we are looking for her everywhere for hours by now.
I look worriedly at Theo. "What if she's had an episode again, what if we weren't there this time and she-" I stop myself sighing in pain as much as hissing whilst running through the forest with Theo by side. He's just as worried as I am. Y/n doesn't do this often yet it happens once , I thought it would never happen again, I could've promised myself that . Her not being here is killing me , she is killing me these feelings of one themselves after their girlfriend isn't save and not to be found and - I can't put it into words. Or they just haven't been found yet.
Theo places his hand on my shoulder looking at me sad, "we will find her , I promise " he nods as we continue searching for our loved one .
I see y/n in the same moment Theo does as we rush up to her worriedly .
- "y/n" we ask wide eyed-
"Oh my Merlin "
"Fuck -""no"
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End
Open end
