Regrets of the past

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SUMMARY:
Spencer sees his ex-girlfriend, Y/N, after 6 years. Their memories together won't leave his head until he tries to get her back.

Inspired by the song 'Those Magic Changes' by Sha Na Na (from Grease).

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6 years ago, Spencer made the biggest mistake of his life.

Romance was never something Spencer paid attention to. Sure, if someone showed him any romantic attention, he'd maybe explore it, but he didn't actively try to find a partner. That was until he met Y/N.

In 2008, Spencer met Y/N, an elementary school teacher. They hit it off and after 4 successful dates, Spencer was happy to announce to his friends that he had a girlfriend. In 2009, when Spencer and Y/N had been dating for just under a year, Y/N met his friends for the first time, and all of them loved her. She became best friends with his friends. Even Hotch and Rossi - both of whom are very isolated with their personal lives - were impressed by Y/N, who seemed to keep up with their resident genius. When Prentiss asked about Y/N's feelings regarding the BAU's unpredictable schedule, Spencer got worried, considering the fact that Y/N might not be able to handle the long hours and early starts. But, when he brought this concern to Y/N, she insisted that as long as he called her when he had the chance, and focused on their relationship until he was needed at work, she was happy and content with their relationship.

Surprisingly, it wasn't Spencer's work that ended the relationship. It was Spencer's actions that caused Y/N to leave. Around the 22nd of April, 2012, Y/N came home to see Spencer writing a letter. When she asked if the letter was for his mother, he shook his head and explained that he had met a geneticist named Maeve. He was writing a letter to her, as she was helping him with his migraines. Y/N was happy that Spencer had found someone who could help.

Although, Y/N started feeling a bit insecure compared to the mystery woman known as 'Maeve'. Spencer started writing to her more, which turned into payphone conversations. Y/N wasn't sure whether or not Spencer had mentioned her in his letters. One night, Y/N came home to see Spencer in his best suit. He looked very handsome, but her confusion grew when he told her that he was hopefully going to meet Maeve for the first time.

Why would Spencer have been wearing the suit he wore on their dates, to meet a geneticist?

Once again, Y/N ignored the uneasy feeling in her heart, letting him go. When he came home, he looked worried, but refused to explain why he looked that way. Y/N continued to ignore Spencer's sudden secrecy toward her. Maybe he and Maeve had become good friends and she told him something that wasn't for Y/N to know? Whatever the case, Y/N continued on as normal as she could, until she got a call 10 months later from Hotch. He informed Y/N that Spencer called him in for a private meeting, not looking too well.

"He told me that the woman he's been talking to, Maeve, is missing. Does this sound familiar at all?" Hotch asked.

"No. I know about Maeve, but Spencer hasn't mentioned anything to me about her being missing." Y/N tried to keep calm.

The next 48 hours were a mess. Y/N heard from Spencer once during a phone call with Penelope, but even then, Y/N knew that deep down, Spencer and Maeve had a connection. They were both very smart and well-read, whereas Y/N was nothing but an elementary school teacher who dealt with kids all day.

She didn't hear from Spencer for a while. According to JJ, Emily and Penelope, Spencer was devastated when Maeve's stalker - Diane Turner - killed her in a murder-suicide. When they came in to try and prevent Maeve's death, they watched as she died, while Spencer yelled out in pain, unable to hold back his tears. Hearing how devastated Spencer was, Y/N wondered if he ever considered leaving her for Maeve. She was worried about him when he went spent his nights sleeping in the guest bedroom inside their shared apartment, instead of sleeping with Y/N (his actual girlfriend). He became more separated from Y/N than ever before.

When she came home from work after a long day, all she wanted was to cuddle with her boyfriend while they watched a movie. But instead, Y/N was greeted to the sight of Spencer laying on the couch, a book in his hand as he stared blankly at the wall. His eyes were red and his cheeks were tear-stained. He clearly hadn't shaved in a while, or even showered.

It also hurt to see his phone go off several times with calls from JJ, Penelope, Derek, and Emily. He shut his phone off, throwing it back onto the table in front of him.

The night ended with a massive fight. Spencer felt angry that Y/N wasn't allowing him time to grieve someone he felt close to. Y/N was angry that he was mourning Maeve as if she was his girlfriend, even though he had a girlfriend who was very much alive. By the time the fight was over, Y/N had packed her bags and left, leaving Spencer alone in the apartment.

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Now, 6 years later, the memories from that night were still stuck in the depths of his brain. The memories hadn't invaded his dreams until he was sorting through his closet, seeing his only good suit. The suit brought back happy memories, of him and Y/N on their dates before officially dating. But the suit also brought back negative memories, of him close to meeting Maeve, but being interrupted by (who he assumed to be) Maeve's stalker.

It wasn't until Spencer saw Y/N for the first time in 6 years that their shared memories came back in full swing. She was sitting outside a café, enjoying her coffee while she read a book. Before Y/N could catch Spencer staring at her, he quickly walked off, unable to get her beautiful face out of his mind. Sure, 6 years ago, she was beautiful, but now? He seriously regretted the way their relationship ended. He knew it was his fault. He met Maeve, a woman who was a great geneticist, well-read and very pretty. He hated to think that when he was talking to her, his actual girlfriend always became the last person on his mind. He was always enamoured by Maeve's knowledge.

He drove Y/N away from him and now that he had seen her, he knew he wanted to try and get her back - as long as she hadn't found someone else. If he knew that she had found someone else, he'd leave her alone. He had no right to interfere with her life. But if she was still single after 6 years, he still had a chance to prove that he still loved her.

He floated the idea to JJ, Tara, Emily and Penelope, all of whom were weary of Spencer's plan. Emily left Spencer with a word of warning:

"If you hurt Y/N again like you did 6 years ago, I won't hesitate to hurt you."

Y/N was their friend, even if they hadn't talked to her in a while. They wanted to protect her.

Penelope told Spencer that there was no indication of Y/N being in a relationship with anyone, which meant Spencer was able to try and win Y/N back.

So, he tried. He called Y/N's number, hoping that she hadn't changed it. Luckily for him, she hadn't. After 2 ignored calls, Y/N finally answered his call, trying to keep calm while she listened to him ask if they could talk. She accepted his request. 4 days later, Y/N and Spencer were sitting at Y/N's favourite café, trying to prevent the encounter from being awkward.

Y/N couldn't lie, Spencer looked hotter than he did back in 2013. But, she couldn't let that overshadow his previous behavior. For the next hour, she listened to Spencer as he apologised for everything. He apologised for distancing himself from her, and growing closer to Maeve. He apologised for mourning Maeve as if she was his girlfriend. He apologised for being so secretive toward her.

By the time he was done apologising, Y/N explained that she was hesitant to forgive him. Although, she told him that she would be willing to begin a friendship with him. Knowing that a friendship with Y/N would possibly be as close as he could get to her, he quickly accepted. For 25 minutes, they caught up on each other's lives. Y/N found out that Spencer had been arrested and spent 3 months in prison for a murder he didn't commit. Spencer learned that - after she left - Y/N didn't pursue any other relationships, instead choosing to focus on teaching.

When Spencer returned to his apartment after the talk with Y/N, he felt better. He knew that he may never be in another romantic relationship with Y/N, but he was glad to know that she at least wanted to be his friend.

When Y/N returned to her apartment after the talk with Spencer, she felt...relieved. After 6 years, the man who hurt her had finally apologised, and he seemed sincere. He looked like he was genuinely sorry. That's why she didn't feel bad for allowing herself and Spencer to have a friendship. Although, Penelope, JJ and Emily were quick to ask her how her talk with Spencer went.

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