Sapphire Stones

You know it's bad when Venus can't make a good joke...

Breakfast is unusually quiet that morning. Whether that's because I didn't get much sleep so I'm not my usual, loud self, or because everyone is extremely hungover and drowsy from the bonfire last night, I can't tell. Whatever the reason is for the unusual silence doesn't seem to matter to anyone.

I can feel my friend's eyes on me all throughout breakfast. I'm sure that Ben hasn't told them about my breakdown last night, but that doesn't change the fact that it's clear something happened to me.

My eyes are red and swollen, cheeks still slightly blotchy and tear-stained. I don't have my normal energy, which is a clear sign that there's something wrong. My hair's a mess; I didn't bother to brush it before breakfast, so it just flows in frizzy, knotted waves down my back. I can't seem to smile for the life of me. Every time I try, it comes out tight-lipped and drains me of the little bit of energy I do have.

I don't bother to tell the three boys to stop staring at me. It wouldn't make any difference. When have they ever listened when I asked them to? 

Newt, Minho, and Ben continue exchanging glances towards me and then at each other. I keep my head low so that they can't see my face any more than they already have. I don't need them being more worried about me than they already are.

"Alright, we gotta go." Minho says. I pick my head up, trying to give him a smile before he and Ben stand up, but give up when it's clear I won't be able to give even that today. "Try not to have too much fun without me."

He looks over at me, offering a small smile. He set me up there with a joke, but I can't bring myself to say it. The four words won't leave my mouth. It's as if they're caught in my throat, making it unable for me to speak.

I can feel them all staring at me. They know something's wrong, now. If I can't make a good joke, it's obvious there's something really wrong with me.

Minho waves goodbye to us when he realizes that I won't say the joke. His head is hanging low as he walks towards the walls to join the other Runners, waiting for the doors to open.

Ben is about to follow, but grabs my arm lightly and pulls me away from the table a little ways away from the others. He's still holding onto my arm when he asks,

"How're you doing today, Venus? Really?"

I just shrug, unable to meet his eyes. Ben runs his free hand through his blonde hair, his eyes drifting to where the other Runners are before returning back to me.

"Look, I don't have much time before those doors open. I need you to talk to me, okay? I'm worried about you." 

"You have to go, Ben. You're gonna be-" I croak, but Ben cuts me off.

"No. No excuses. Talk to me, Venny. I'm here." He pleads, his eyes showing that same pained expression as last night. I take a deep breath before exhaling it, running a hand through my hair in an attempt to comb down some of the frizz.

"It was just a dream, okay? A stupid dream."

"A dream wouldn't make you cry like that. What was it really?" He presses. I know that there's no point in trying to lie to Ben. He can almost always tell instantly when someone's lying.

"I don't know, Ben. A memory, I think. Multiple, maybe. First there was a woman and a man talking about someone being sent up here. The man said something about having full control over someone within a few days. Then, the woman came up to me and told me that everything is going to change and I had to make a choice." I say, fiddling with my fingers to keep my voice from shaking too much. "T-then I saw p-people. They were all trapped in these pods of water. They were d-drowning them." I stutter, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Do you know who the people were?" Ben asks, wiping a rouge tear from my cheek. I nod, but before I can tell him, we hear the gears turning, the sound booming throughout the Glade. The doors are opening. "Shuck." Ben mutters.

"You have to go." I say quietly, looking at the Runner's already disappearing into the Maze.

"Tell me when I get back, okay?" Ben asks. I turn my head to look at him. It's clear that he doesn't want to go into the Maze today. I nod, pulling the Runner into a tight hug.

He wraps his arms around my waist, holding me close to him. I feel him press a few kisses to the top of my head. I don't mind this act of affection from him. He's my best friend. 

So I kiss his cheek, pulling him for one last hug. We're both reluctant to pull away from each other, but we know that he has to run today. He has no choice.

"I'll be back soon, okay?" Ben says, offering me a small smile. I'm able to return it, but it doesn't quite reach my eyes. "You'll be okay without me?"

I nod, ruffling his hair slightly. "I'll be alright."

Ben nods, kissing my forehead before running towards the stone walls and disappearing into the Maze.

I walk back over to the picnic table, sitting across from Newt. The blonde is already looking at me, a worried expression on his face.

"Stop it, Newton." I mutter, trying to bring myself to eat some of the untouched food on the plate in front of me.

"What happened, Venny?" He asks. I sigh, putting down the fork. I already know that no matter how many times I try to tell him to stop looking at me like I'm some sad, kicked puppy, that he won't stop asking. He never does. It's one of the things I both love and hate about him.

"Just didn't sleep well last night, that's all." I reply shortly.

"You were crying." He observes.

"No I wasn't." I reply, hiding my face behind my hands.

"I'm not stupid, Venus. I have eyes. It's obvious."

"Well direct your gaze to Thomas." I snap. "Quit looking at me." I see Newt's face brighten, but his gaze doesn't falter. He keeps looking directly at me, brown eyes burning into my skin.

"It was a memory, wasn't it?" He asks after a moment. My hands drop from my face. I nod, looking down at the table. There's no point in lying to Newt either. He can tell when someone's lying too. "About?" He presses.

"No. You don't get to know that." I snap, standing up. I run a hand over my tired face. Newt stands up after me, walking around the table so that he can stand in front of me.

"I get them too, Venus. It's okay." He says. I look up at him, noticing how his hair looks messier than usual. His eyes look tired, as if he didn't get any sleep at all last night. His skin is paler than normal. 

"You haven't been sleeping well either?" I ask, nodding towards his tired appearance. Newt shakes his head.

"They keep me up." He replies, running a hand through his blonde hair. I nod. 

"These were the first ones I've had in forever." I mutter, running a hand up and down my arm. Newt cocks an eyebrow, shifting his weight off of his bad ankle.

"There were more than one?" He asks. I just nod, unable to speak again. "You wanna talk about them? Maybe it'll help to tell someone about 'em." He suggests. I shake my head.

I don't feel like talking anymore. My body is already drained of the little energy I'd had this morning. I'll need all the energy I can get, anyway. I still have a long day of work ahead of me.

"Well I'm here if you need someone." Newt says. I just nod and smile gratefully, wrapping my arms around him to give him a quick hug. Newt returns it, heading towards the gardens when we pull away.

I can see him fidgeting nervously with his hands as he walks. That's when I notice the Greenie following a little ways behind him. He must be with Thomas today. 

The thought brings a small, genuine smile to my face as I think about the fact that Newt is so nervous around this new kid. I mean, I knew he liked him, but I guess I didn't realize how much.

The thought of Newt finally being truly happy is what keeps me smiling all the way to the Medhut.