I left Megan's place a few hours ago. I was in my bedroom, waiting for my children to come home. I was packing a bag to bring to the guest room. I just couldn't stay in the bedroom I've shared with Jay.
My emotions were all over the place. One minute I'm mad as hell, the next I'm smelling one of his shirts crying my eyes out. I expected those feelings, I've felt them before so it's nothing new. What I didn't expect to feel was relief. I'm not happy Jay cheated but there's a certain calmness that comes from something leaving your life that was never meant for you.
Don't get me wrong, shit hurt like a motherfucker. I truly love that man but I trust God. I trust in things working out for me, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
I did say my 40's were the best and Jay just wasn't supposed to be a part of this new chapter of my life. I cycle through multiple emotions but feeling that sense of relief really does confirm that I'll be just fine.
I was lost in thought when I heard the door open. Rumi came running through the door and hugged my leg.
"Mommyyyyy I missed you so much. Why are you packing? Where are you going? Are we going on tour again?" Rumi asked me excitedly.
I laughed and carried her in my arms. "No, my baby. Mama's gonna be sleeping in the guest bedroom for awhile. You wanna come have a sleepover with mama tonight?" She nodded her head excitedly and I gave her a kiss on her cheek.
"Okay go get some clothes and we can head over to the room and make a tent!" I placed Rumi on the floor and she ran to her bedroom. That girl's energy is unmatched.
As soon as Rumi left, Blue came in the room and hugged me. "Dad told me everything. I'm so sorry, mom." Blue said in a small voice. It took everything in me not to break down and cry. I had to keep it together.
"Listen, no matter what your dad did, he's still your father and he loves you, Rumi and Sir more than life itself. He hurt me but that doesn't give you the right to be disrespectful to him, okay, Blue?" I held her face in my hands as Blue rolled her eyes.
"The man humiliated you and you're defending him?" Blue said with clear anger in her voice.
"Blue Ivy Carter, we raised you better than that. I'm not defending what he's done but as far as you and your siblings are concerned, he's been nothing but a great father to y'all." I said in a firm tone.
"I hear you, mom but if he really cared about us, he wouldn't have stepped out of your marriage. Wouldn't he have thought about us back before cheating? Shouldn't he have thought how was he going to explain this to me again? And to my younger siblings too! He should've thought about us before he went and screwed over our family!" Blue said with tears running down her eyes. My baby's hurting and I don't know what to do to help. I did what I thought would help and hugged her tightly, both of us crying into each other's arms.
—
2 weeks later Megan's POV
It's been 2 weeks since Beyoncé left my house and I've been talking to her every day since. Sometimes it'd be quick text or two while other days, we FaceTime for hours. I also made the occasional visit. Blue and I have gotten close during these visits.
Blue sighed into the camera when I answered her FaceTime call. She looks so much like Beyoncé. "Megan... my mom's still so sad. Do you think we can do something for her to cheer her up?" Blue would usually call me when her mom gets into her depressive funks. I told Blue she can call me whenever she needed help and she definitely listened. I don't mind though. I enjoyed their company and I loved being there for Beyoncé. I usually helped by visiting them or sending something for the family.
"I'm going to Japan in like 3 days for like a month would y'all like to come?" I asked Blue. They all could use a break.
"Oh my god that sounds like so much fun I'll tell my mom! Thanks, Megan! I appreciate you!" Blue said excitedly.
"Awwwwe no worries Blue. I'll see y'all soon. Lemme know if you need back up on trying to convince your mom to go" I said.
"I got this, Meg!" Blue said.
——
5 days later Megan POV
Blue, in fact didn't have it. Beyoncé said no automatically. I understood her logic and even if I tried to convince her to go, she politely declined. I told her no worries and that I'll get something for the kids when I'm - especially for Sir since he loves Mario and I planned on going to Super Nintendo World.
I scrolled through my phone and posted a picture from last night.
ओह! यह छवि हमारे सामग्री दिशानिर्देशों का पालन नहीं करती है। प्रकाशन जारी रखने के लिए, कृपया इसे हटा दें या कोई भिन्न छवि अपलोड करें।
Within a few minutes, Beyoncé liked my picture. She's been liking my posts on Japan and she checks in on me. I send her pictures of places keep her updated on my day. She does the same to me but her days have been filled with pictures of her playing with her kids, what shows they're watching and what kid had a meltdown that day.
I smiled thinking about our FaceTime call the other day. Sir kept waving at me and he kept reminding me to send pictures of Mario. He's the cutest and I'm shocked that I miss them this much.
—
Beyoncé POV
I saw Megan's post and I instinctively bit my lip. She looked damn good and I missed her presence. I closed instagram and called Blue.
"What's up, mom?" She asked me.
"Forget what I said. Let's go to Japan and surprise Megan!"
