Eternally

Chapter 6 - Confessions

Friday, October 30th
Krissy

We arrive back at the BnB around 1:30 am. Everyone was either tired, irritated or drunk. I realized I hadn't checked my phone the whole time I was out. Justin had texted a few times.

10:47pm - Justin: Hey baby, how's everything going?
11:37pm - Justin: You okay?
12:42am - Justin: I'm probably going to head to sleep. Don't forget to call me.

Oh shoot, my sweet boy. Walking into my room, I immediately undress and take a quick shower. After moisturizing, I slide on an oversized tee and crawl underneath my sheets. I click Justin's number. It rung a few times before he answered.

"Hey J, did I wake you? I'm just now getting settled. I'm sorry to call you so late. It's been a long night."
"It's okay baby. I'm glad you made it back safely. Everything okay? What happened?"
"I don't want to keep you up. Everything is okay though."
"I don't think you would've brought it up if it didn't bother you though. I don't want you going to sleep with it on your mind. Talk to me,"
"Justin, it's nearly 3 in the morning. You have to be up in what four hours?"
"Krissy."
"Justin."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I promise it's nothing. Go back to sleep."
"You should get some sleep too. What do you have planned for tomorrow?"
"Bae, are you fighting to sleep to talk to me?" I giggle.
"Absolutely." he laughs.
"Go to sleep. Call me when you wake up that way you'll have waken me out of my sleep too. It'll be a fair trade. I can tell you about my night and my plans for tomorrow, how does that sound?"
"I don't want to wake you up though. I'll call you on my lunch break."
"Okay. Goodnight J."
"I love you,"
"I love you." I end the call and set my phone on the nightstand.

A few minutes later, I feel my eyes getting heavy.

>>>
There's a knock at my door. Sighing, I open my eyes and notice it's still dark outside. Checking my phone, I had only been sleep for forty five minutes. Now who could this be?

I crawl out of bed and walk to open the door. I know I probably looked a mess. I only had one a bonnet and a shirt. To my surprise, it was Keith. He didn't have on a shirt just a pair of black polo pajama pants. He wasn't making eye contact with me.

"What's wrong?" I ask. He finally looks up and his eyes appear to be red like he had been crying.
"Keith. You okay?" I ask again now concerned.
"Can we have that conversation now?"
"Yes, absolutely. Come in." I close the door after letting him in. He sits on the edge of my bed and I sit next to him placing my hand on his upper back.

"Talk to me Keith."
"I don't even know how to put my thoughts into words." he sniffs.
I felt so bad. It must be a struggle to be a man in today's society. You're looked down upon if you show one ounce of emotion. I wanted him to know that this was a safe space. Deep down he knew if he approached me about it in the first place.

"You can start with as little as one word. We can go from there. I promise. I'm listening."
Lord knows I was exhausted but I'm here to help in any way I could.

"Everything's been hard lately. I feel like I've gotten away from myself. It's getting harder to handle business at the complex. It feels like I can't do it. I can't do it on my own. I feel like I'm not good enough for it or it's just not my calling anymore. I feel as If I'm not only disappointing myself but everyone else too. It's not just that. Everything Samaria said was true. I'm not that kind of guy. I hate that she said it because I don't want to be perceived that way. It's kind of deeper than what she said. Yes, it started as a one night stand. I caught feelings but I don't think she did as much as me. I think I over romanticized it because I was distracting myself from who I really wanted. I don't even want to get into that. I don't know I just thought coming here would be an escape. Truth is, It's making me think even more. I don't know what to do Krissy."