Same but... different (Lestappen and Carlando)

Chapter 27

POV: Carlos

We spend a very lazy afternoon, just watching movies in bed and eating snacks. I enjoy every one of these moments I have with Lando, really. It feels so good to be happy and worriless for once. I don't have to make sure I hide myself from my family or the media, I can just live and be completely myself.

And it seems to have a good impact on the Brit next to me too, because he's much more relaxed as well, at least that's what I've noticed. Maybe it's just wishful thinking though.

Anyways, we're currently quite close on my bed, watching some dumb show he insisted on showing me. And I have to admit that it's quite funny, but quite vulgar too. Not that it bothers me of course, I'm the first one to make jokes like these all the time. But it sounds weird when those guys say it.

— Seriously, did he just imply he has "three legs"? I sigh in amusement, rolling my eyes.

— I mean, just look at him! Wouldn't surprise me ahah! You wouldn't know what it is though, Lando adds with a smug grin and I gasp in indignation.

— Ah, cause you know then hum? I'd be interested in seeing that! I reply jokingly, still a bit hurt in my pride.

I don't realise immediately what I've just said, and don't understand why the room is silent for a few seconds. It's only when I look at Lando's red face that I get it, instantly panicking.

— Not that I want this eh, ahah, that'd be weird of course! You know what I meant, right? I add more calmly, mentally praying for him to not make things weird.

— Yeah yeah no worries, he replies quickly, both of us looking dumbly at each other.

We end up bursting out laughing, playing the show on TV again. I like that the atmosphere's always relaxed when I'm with him. I can act childish, silly or mature when we're together, and he can do the same. That's what I like the most about our relationship. No judgement.

This and how gorgeous he looks of course. I wouldn't mind being able to run my hand freely through those beautiful curls of his, or to caress his smooth-looking skin. But I need to focus on the TV now, if I don't want to get carried away by his presence and let the effect he has on me show too much.

I've tried in the past to ignore him, tried to wipe him out of my memory, at least from my heart. It never worked, not even with the distance during the pandemic, not even after I left McLaren. Maybe I'm bound to be in love with him forever, like a never-ending punishment.

I started considering the option of him reciprocating my feelings though. Since the talk with my parents, I've noticed more and more signals that only led me to believe something is possible. Maybe it's wrong, I'm often very unsure about what's on his mind, or why he acts the way he does.

But still, I've seen the way he looked at me earlier, in the gym. I've seen how flustered he was during the massage and before. And he asked me to sleep with him. That's probably as close as we can get to being more than friends. But he never said anything, I'm scared to be on a crazy delusional route.

After the tv show, we decide to go downstairs, my parents gone to buy some groceries. Maybe I'll let him convince me to play some videogames, maybe not.

— Come on Carloooos, he whines, begging for me to say yes.

— I don't know, what do you want to play?

— Fifa? Anything actually, what games do you have?

— I don't know, you can look in the drawer there, there should be everything we have.