UNFURLING FATE.

Silence before..

Madinah.

I did not go back to bed after fajr today because its Monday and I am finally resuming work.

Kate and i prepared an English breakfast, cut up some fruits and served it all with fresh orange juice. I also made some chai for General just incase because he didn't end up taking it last night.

I left Kate in the dining room setting up and went upstairs to my room to shower. The moment I stepped out, i woke alisha up and told her to shower as well. Today, i did not have it in me to do too much so I simply wore a teal abaya over a white body con dress and wrapped it's matching veil around my head.

As you'd expect, i spritz and drenched myself in my jasmine and coconut mist. I was leaving the house with Alisha as she had school this morning and had insisted on staying one more night, so maama sent her uniform with a driver last night.

She got out of the shower just as I'd finished getting ready,

"Here's your uniform baby, be quick and meet me downstairs okay?"

She simply nodded her head at me, Alisha was not a morning person. I left her in the room and made my way to Generals room, he was awake. I did not know whether that was a good or bad thing, since I wanted to talk to him about yesterday but I was super nervous.

"Are you going to keep on standing there?"

Oh God. I walked further into the room and only stopped by the bed.

"Good morning," I greeted him,

"Good morning maryaam. Sit down." He patted on the space next to him on the bed, I looked between it and him before slowly sitting down.

"When are you going to stop walking around eggshells in your own house?"

My eyes darted to his that looked directly into mine. A single ray of morning sun peeking through the window highlighted the gold swirls surrounding his iris.

"I thought it was what you preferred." I told him honestly. How could I possibly be free in a home that was only mine in name? A home where I was not cherished.

He sighs, "what I want, is for you to be comfortable in our marriage. For you to stand up for yourself, to accept that is no one's home but yours. Not even mine."

The softness with which he spoke gnawed at my heart. Was this the same man who'd harshly rejected me only a few days ago ?

I slowly nodded my head, "It's not so easy. Even in my fathers house, it was never mine. I was never home."

He stared at me for a few seconds, long enough for me to regret over sharing.

"This is your home, so long as you decide it is." There is no home without love.

I bit it back. Too scared to break the spell, our first conversation in a while. Swiftly, I changed the topic, "I want to talk to you about something.."

He gives me his full attention, so much so that it made me cower. "It's about Aaliyah."

His expression remained the same so I carried on, "she told me everything that happened yesterday, and two years ago. Wallah it was not intentional, she truly did not mean to."

"And you believe her?"

"I do. She is devastated that you're not talking to her. It has been years, please let it go. She's a teenage girl, mistakes are normal. What she needs is guidance and not your anger," I inhaled when I was done and kept my eyes on my hands. Knowing my husband, it wouldn't be too difficult for him to ignore everything I just said.