Zanokuhle

Chapter 53

ZANOKUHLE
Chapter 53

KHANYISILE

I got back inside the house, I went into my room and I close the door off my room and my sister stared at me while I had my back against the door. She looked at me like I am so maniac when I am just trying to process what I just happened outside.I don't know how I could do that to myself, agree for us to try once again when I know that I am not ready for me to agree and nod when he told me.that he will swing by later to see me properly was just another call for me to be slapped. Probably I need Aunty Gugu’s beating at this point for me to get out of whatever trance that man has me under. I don't know if I should go back or I should just call and tell him that I do not want to be with him anymore. At this point I'm confused, stuck in thoughts that I don't know how to lay them out properly for me to understand them. My sister looks at me for a moment trying to understand what is happening when she can't. I am not even giving out any signs or signals the she can catch in order to understand what is happening.
“What happened?”,She asks.
I touch my chest.
“I don't know, everything went so quickly and I...”,I pause for a moment as I try to take in what really happened out there.
“And what?”
“We just got back together?”,I say with some confusion to what I am saying and she seems shocked.
“I thought you were going to talk and go your seperate ways”,She says and I make my way to my bed and throw my body on it.
I cover my eyes as I breathe in and out.
“I know, that's what I thought. We were talking, he was apologizing and next thing he says he will see me later.”,I feel the bed move and she places her hand on my arm.
“Don’t worry. Maybe this is your chance to fix things”,She says.
“I don't trust him anymore”,I say.
“I understand but you need to take this as an opportunity for you guys to see where will this actually end up will it end up in a good state or bad state?”,She says.
“I don't know”,I say and I sigh.
She wraps her arms around me Ashley's her head on my chest and I wrap my arms around her. We stay in silence as we are in our thoughts. Life, it's just something that you never guarantee of what will happen the following day you just don't know if it will come the way that you are expecting or not. that you plan one thing and the next happens.
“it'll be okay, don't worry about it”, she says.
I don't know if I should or shouldn't worry about it but I'll take her word for it at the moment.
“Did he bring any goodies ?”,she asks
I love it a question because he usually bring stuff when it comes to visit that is what usually happened when we were together. It was like a ritual but never ended well it ended the day that we ended things before today.
“no he didn't bring anything, but I'll buy for you”,I say.
“Thats okay”,She says and I sigh that moment.
May I be given strength for this. 

ZANOKUHLE

My aunt has been gone for so long that I even forgot to keep track of the time that she has been gone. Nkosana told me.not to worry about her but I cannot help myself. My aunt doesn't know this man, barely knows him and I too but she is out there doing God knows what with this man. 
The twins were in a not so happy state for a few hours until we were able to just out them to sleep, being a parent is so hard.  I wish that there were work shifts in this thing but it seems to be 24/7 thing and a bit permanent. 
Mr and Mrs Mthimkhulu came back and they got cooped up in their room that they use. Nkosana got off his work and we are just seated here in the living room watching some TV, I just can't wait to finish school and start with working in the kitchen and be a chef.  That is one thing that I am looking forward to the most. 
“Are you getting sleepy?”,Nkosana asks and I look up to him and shake my head.
“No”,He nods his head. 
I hear some laughter by the door and it opens and I sit up on the couch and my aunt makes her way inside the apartment. She closes the door while holding onto her bag and a small gift bag. 
Where did she even get that from now?
“It’s 5 aunty”,I say and she waves her hand.
“Zano, I am not the boys. Mkhwenyana wakwami, how are you?”,My aunt asks.
“I am well aunty”,Nkosana says. 
“Whuu I had the best time”,She says.
“Thats nice. Where did you get that?”,I ask.
“Oh, Thami got this for me.  Isn't that sweet?”,She says and comes to me and gives me a little hug.
“I am going to rest a bit”,She says and she moves away from us and stops her tracks and turns.
“Oh, before I forget. I will not be going to work anymore”,she says and this comes as a shocker.
“Why?”,I ask.
“I will be retiring early. I am spending my 50th birthday overseas”,I frown.
Since when can my aunt afford to go overseas? She can't even cough up money to go to Durban and that is still in the same province she lives in. 
“With what money? With who?”,I ask.
“With Thami,Zano. He asked if we can retire together and travel together overseas”,She says.
This so absurd.
She turns and walks away before I can say anything.
“Calm down baby”,Nkosana pulls me to him and I sigh heavily.
“She is a grown adult. If it makes you any happy I will try and see if this guy is legit or not"
“Don’t you know him?”
“I do but people change you know”,He says and I nod my head.
“Okay, but she can't just go around the world with a man we don't know. What if he is a killer?”
“I will make sure that she is okay”,He says and I nod my head and sigh.
“Okay”
“Come, let’s carry on with watching TV before the twins want our attention”
I join him properly on the couch.
I am worried about my aunt now. I need to tell Nomfundo so she can warn her mother. What if this man is something she doesn't know?She doesn't know this man at all. I am just worried about her.How can my aunt trust a stranger? I took some time to trust Nkosana right?
Maybe I might be overreacting but I am still going to tell Nomfundo about this. Maybe she will agree with me on this. 
-------
I don't want to leave soon, I don't think I would survive even a day if I leave my babies here but I don't want them travelling up and down and so my aunt and Mrs Mthimkhulu suggested the kids stay rooted in Joburg when I go to Cape town and I can come back during the weekends. I am not ready for that. I know that in a few days I will have to leave but why should I leave? Isn't there a better way to do this?
The grannies took the babies away from us this morning. I didn't even get time to open cartoons for them today but I did tell their grandmothers that they do like cartoons so they can have a great morning like they always do. 
I usually hear that babies are bothersome but these boys of mine are not that bothersome. 
So here I am with nothing to do this morning because the oldies decided to take over and told me to relax. I haven't relaxed in a very long time so I don't know what I should really do. 
Nkosana is still asleep, I always wake up earlier than he does. He would tell me how he woke up early when I didn't sleep next to him but if I do sleep next to him he doesn't wake up early and shame he doesn't wake up any early.
The little sun is out through the window. I look at him and get on him and he wraps his arms around me that moment.
“Baby”,I say and he shoots his eyes open and looks at me.
“You rarely call me that. What's wrong?”,His voice is raspy.
It shows that he just woke up. 
“I am bored. Are you busy today?”,I ask as I sigh. 
“No, I am not busy. What do you want us to do?”,He asks. 
“I don't know”,I say and look at him and his eyes are red. 
“Okay, we can go out for breakfast and then what happens after ,you will have a say in that. How about that?”,he asks.
“And the boys?”
“They will stay with their grandparents”,He says and I giggle.
“That’s mean but okay”,I say and he kisses my forehead.  
He places his hand on my butt and he keeps on tapping it as he tries to fall back to sleep.
“Nkosana”
“Sthandwa sami”
“Do you want to have a baby apart from the boys?”,I am just wondering. 
He slowly opens his eyes. 
“I don't know”,He says and I nod my head. 
“Yini, usufuna ngikumithise? Akunankinga phela nalokho(You want me to impregnant you? There is no problem in that)”,He says.
“No,I don't want to push any baby out of me now.  The boys are enough for now”,I say.
“Mmh, have you talked to your father's sister?”,He asks and I shake my head. 
“I haven't in a while”
“Mmmh”,I kiss his cheek and I see him close his eyes again. 
Some silence prevails between us. 
“Nkosana”
“Yes baby”,He says but he has his eyes closed. 
I lay my head on his chest.
“Would you like another girl beside me?”,I ask. 
“Yes, our daughter”,He says and I frown.
“But we don't have a daughter”,I say.
“If we do have one, one day”,he says. 
“Well beside you, I love the boys.”,I say and he kisses my forehead.
“I am sure they love you too”
“They do, they behave around me”,I say and he chuckles. 
“You know,when I am outside other people ask me out and I tell them no and they don't want to listen sometimes. I think I should start hitting them”,I say and he laughs.
“Haibo Zano, it's normal to be asked out but I will wring a man who pester my wife”,he says. 
“Really? So women ask you out?”,I ask.
“Some but others just throw themselves at me. It's irritating”
“I throw myself at you”,He spanks my butt.
“Phela I like it when you do it.”,He says. 
“Oh, okay.I am hungry now do you want some cereals?”,I ask.
“What I am hungry for,I won't be getting for the next few weeks”,He says.
“What is that?”,I ask
“I am hungry for you”,He says and I sit up ontop of him. 
“I can take care of that”,I giggle as I remember what Nomvula taught me and he opens his eyes and looks at me and then closes them again.
“Can I touch your pants baby?”,I ask and he opens his eyes and he has a little frown.
“You can”,He says.  
“Wenzani Zano?”,He asks.
I pull his pants down a bit and I smile looking at him.
“You will see”,I say. 
I touch his shaft and he sucks in his breath.
“Your hands are a bit cold baby”,He says. 
“Sorry”,I say and start kissing his shaft little by little. I can't fit that whole thing in my small mouth, it will choke me. 
I start licking from the tip and I go down to the sides.  I swirl my tongue around his shaft, he groans a bit as I do that and I gently play with his balls in the process before I pull my head up and I start going in with my hand.  
I go back to kissing his shaft and I swirl my tongue around it before I put it in my mouth to hug it in there a bit. 
A knock comes from the door and I pull back and Nkosana has his eyes closed. 
“Zano please wake up Nkosana and tell him that Jabulani's wife just called and Jabu is at the hospital right now.”,I hear Mrs Mthimkhulu say.
Nkosana wakes up and I get off the bed as well when I see him move around so quickly. I go to the door as he rushes to the bathroom.
“Hello mah”,I say and she looks at me.
“Yes Zano, is Nkosana awake?"
“Yes, what got Bhuti Jabu there?”,I ask.
“An attempted highjack.”,She says.
“Oh, okay.He is getting ready”,I say.
“Mmh, remember Zano no sex for 6 weeks”,She says and I nod my head. 
I then close the door there after. 
I go and make the bed and Nkosana comes out of the bathroom. 
“I opened the shower water for you. What do you want to wear?”,He asks.
“Anything”,I say and he nods his head. 
I hope that he is okay. Nkosana loves his friend and I don't think he will take it well if he is not okay.
I quickly rush to the bathroom after making the bed and I take a shower.
.
The hospital corridors. The last time I was in a hospital, I was giving birth to the boys. I was told I had an extra child that I had to take home with me of which I was not prepared for but they are just cute little things that I wish I could gobble up each moment.
We get to where Happy said they are and we find her there and this old woman who is there busy crying and saying it is Happy and her brothers fault as they are plotting in taking Jabulani's riches. 
I rush to Happy and hug her. 
I don't know what to do or say at this moment. 
“Hey, are you okay?",I ask.
“Yes I am okay.”
“Nkosana, Uyabona Kodwa into enabuya nayo eKapa lenu leli?(You see what you have brought from your Cape town?)”,This old woman says. 
“Mah, please”,Nkosana's says.
Smiso leaves the room there.
“Why is she pointing at you like that?”,I ask Happy as I frown.
“She hates me.  She is Jabu's mother”,She says. 
“You love Jabu"
“She doesn't understand that",She sighs. 
This woman starts screaming.
“Get out! I don't want to see you here!",This woman screams at Happy as Nkosana tries to reason with her. 
“Where must she go? It's her husband, where is yours?”,everyone looks at me. 
“Uthini kumina Wena ntombazane?(What did you say to me you girl?)”,This old woman says.
I don't like her already.
“Zano please”,Happy says.
“Mah, calm down and Zano please calm down as well"
“She is being dramatic for nothing. Where must Happy go? It's her son's husband. She can't rule out people's marriages when she is not married too. Her son loves Happy and she is not going anywhere if she doesn't want to see her then the door is behind her”,I say with a frown on my face. 
This woman jolts from her seat and Nkosana comes and stands in front of us and her. 
“Mah sit down before it gets messy”
“Nihamba niqonywa Nkosana yini yona leh?(You go around dating Nkosana, What is this?)”
“I will not take that lightly mah”,He warns. 
“Nkosana can I have some water?",I say and this woman gives us a deadly look. 
Nkosana gets her back to her seat and when she seems to have calmed down he tells me he will get me something to eat at the Cafeteria and asks the others what they want and this woman is quiet. 
He gets me the water that is in the room's water dispenser and I thank him. 
“Please try to stay calm until I come back?”,I nod my head. 
I drink some of my water and this old woman pounces out of her seat as soon as Nkosana leaves the room.
“Nijwayela kabi nina zifebe ezodla imali zengane zethu(You are bullshitting on me you whores that are after our son's money)”,She says and she slaps me and Happy too. I try to hit her back but Happy pulls me away from the room while she tells us to stay out of here. 
“I am calling my aunt. Ngeke ngishawe Ugogo engingamazi mina(I won't be hit by some granny that I don't know)”,I say.
“Zano,please”,Happy says.
“Does she do this all the time to you?”,I ask.
“She does swear at me but I take it because I love Jabu”,Ngeke ke, I am not married to Jabu or love him like that so ngeke ngingcenge logogo mina(This granny).
I quickly dial my aunt. 
It rings a few times before she answers. 
“Yazi Zano, I am waiting for an important call and you call. I thought it was someone else”,She says and I start sniffing.
“Aunty...”,Happy looks at me.
“What is wrong?”
“Someone hit me”,I say. 
“Who is it?”
“Jabulani's mother”,I say. 
I quickly change drop the call and I video call her and she answers before I turn my cheek and show it to her and it is red.
“Sies lomama akangazi. Ushaye Bani?(This woman doesn't know me, she Hit who?)",Weirdly my aunt hated anyone who hit me but she would hit me , same applied with Nomfundo. Anyone who hit her she would go crazy but she was the only one allowed to hit us and our granny.
“Even Happy. She hit her”
“Ngoba ethi aninabazali yini Nina? Ngiyeza lapho. Lowomthakathi uzongazi ukuthi ubani uGugu(Just because she thought you guys have no parents? I am coming there. That witch will know me and know who Gugu is)”,She clicks her tongue and I show her Happy and she has a little scratch on her face. 
My aunt hangs up and Happy looks at me. 
“This is going to be a mess”,She says.
We wait outside and the doctor comes. He tells us that Jabu is fine and he is being released. He wasn't shot or anything but they were just checking him up. Nkosana comes back with our food and we are now free to leave. 
This woman gives us side eyes and I text my aunt and tell her that we have left the hospital and we are going to Jabu’s apartment. 
She wanted to kick Happy out of the car but her son is here. 
“What happened here?”,Nkosana asks me as soon as we get inside the car.
“Jabu's mom slapped us as soon as you left. She said we are whores who are after their son's money",I see his face change in just a split second. 
“Dont worry, I will sort it out”,I nod my head. 
“Okay but you don't have to worry. It's fine”,I say and he shakes his head. 
“She had no right.”
“Let's go”,He starts the car and we drive off going to Jabulani's place just to make sure he is okay. 
We get there and we get out of the car and so as everyone else from their car. 
Smiso helps this old lady out of the car. I see my aunt approaching us and I don't know where she came from and so as the man she is galavanting with behind her.
She has a little sjambok in her hands, she didn't even change. I don't think she had time to change once she heard someone laid their hands on me. She has her phinifa on and her slippers. Her see through afro is not even in its presentable state. She didn't glam herself this morning because she wanted to be an authentic grandmother and the kids should get used to her bad days too. 
“Who hit you Zano?”I quickly point to the lady.
Jabu and Nkosana try to stop her. 
“Aunty please calm down”,She hits them both with a sjambok.
“Sukani phambi kwami nina!(move away from me you two!)”,Happy quickly gets to me and holds onto me. 
I don't even know where she got that Sjambok from. 
She gets to Jabulani's mother and throws it on the floor and kicks off her slippers.
“Angithi ufuna ukuzenza uBruce Lee enganeni zami, Wozake singqubuzane Sfebe esbolile(You want to become Bruce Lee on my children, come and fight me rotten whore)”,she says and she slaps her and the lady retaliates but my aunt does what she does best and overpowers her and they fall to the floor and she hops on her and keeps on slapping them.
“I won't have you abuse my kids. Do you hear me? I didn't birth them for old things like you to mistreat them!”,Nkosana and Jabu pick her up and Smiso helps his step mom who is shouting.
“Lobufebe bakufunde kuwe!(this whoring they were taught by you)”,My aunt bites Nkosana and he lets her go and she kicks Jabu.
Her boyfriend is just frozen in one place as she runs to this woman and jumps on her and bites her too and she screams. She pulls away as the boys rush to her and so as her new friend and he picks her up and puts her over his shoulders and walks away with her. 
“Mistreat my kids and I will sleep in jail for you. Angikusabi mina Sathane!”,My aunt screams and they drag her away from Jabu's mom.
They quickly attend to Jabulani's mom.
“What happened?”,Jabu asks and Happy is scared. She can't even speak.
“Your mom was hurling insults Happy's way and she said she must leave and I said no because she was quiet and then she said that we are whores and we married you for your money with Nkosana and then she wanted to hit us but Nkosana came in between us and when he let the waiting room she came and slapped us and threw us out and I told on her to my aunt that she slapped us”.
He looks at the both of us.
“We will talk about this later”,he says and then he walks off to attend to his mother.
“He is angry, maybe. I don't know.”,Happy says.
“Don't worry. He loves you”,I say.
She seems stressed.
Aunt's man friend comes back and picks up her shoes and the Sjambok and comes to us.
“Your aunt is calling you both”,He says and we both follow after him without saying a word. 
We get to the car and she rolls the window down.
“Get inside. We are going”,she says and we know than to defy Gugu.
We get inside the car and close the door.
Her friend throws in the stuff in the boot and he gets in and drives us off. 
Silence prevails the car, it was some show. 
Our phone rings and I look at mine and Happy looks at hers. 
“Who is calling you?”,Aunt asks.
“Nkosana and Jabulani"
“Don't answer. They will have to face me those two”,She says and we nod our heads. 
Happy sighs in that moment. 

GUGULETHU

When it comes to my children I never compromise. Yes I am a bit crazy and strict here and there but overall I never want someone to come and do as they please in their lives. 
We get back to where we are staying for now and I tell the girls to go inside and this man gets my shoes from the back but not my sjambok. 
He helps me wear my shoes and looks at me. 
“I saw another side of you today”,He says and I look at him.
“What other side?”,I ask.
“Do you always fight people?”
“If they start my children”,he chuckles and stands up after helping me out my shoes.
I didn't want to disturb the Mthimkhulu's with this so I decided to call him and he came through as quickly as he could. I just grabbed a R200 note from my bag and left like this, I asked him if we could pass town and I bought a Sjambok. She is lucky I didn't use it on her because I intended on doing so. 
“Can I have my Sjambok please?”,I say.
“You look so innocent right now”
“I am”,He chuckles.
“I think I will hold onto that for now”,He says and I nod my head. 
“Are you doing anything tonight?”,he asks.
“I am baby sitting my grandchildren. I haven't spent much time with them, why?”,I ask.
“I was going to ask if you would be okay for a little sleep over”,He says and I smile. 
“Phela that can be arranged. Tomorrow?”,I ask.
“Tomorrow is okay”,He says and I hop out of the car.
“You like me, you just don't tell me”,I say and he chuckles. 
“I do MaNgubo”,I mean who wouldn't?
He gives me a hug and I return it before I say my goodbyes and I go away from him. 
I make my way to the apartment and I get inside and find Buhlalo in the living room.
“What happened to Happy and Zano?”
“Mother in law ya Happy ibashayile ngamvithiza nami(Hit them so I hit her back)”,she laughs.
“Eyi, long overdue. That woman is always vile”
“I had to, she had to know that she should never think these kids don't have parents to fight for them.”,I say and she laughs.
“Where are they?”
“I gave Happy some sugared water to calm down so that she doesn't affect the baby”
“Okay”,I say and join her on the couch. 

We sit and chatter for a while, the twins are alseep and so as their mothers now. Mr Mthimkhulu left for a business trip so it is just the two of us in here. She goes to the kitchen and makes something for eat. I have always heard about her nice food and she does cook a great pot. She should teach me a few things so that I can cook for that man tomorrow. 
I have a drink while she tells me stories and I am listening and I also tell her mine. The door opens and these two boys walk in and I give them a look. 
They close the door and shy away from my sharp gaze.
“Sawubona aunty”,Jabulani says. 
I keep my silence.
“Sawubona ma”,Nkosana follow after that.
“Who is that Gugu?”
“Your sons”,I say and look at them up and down and Buhlalo appears from the kitchen.
“Hawu Nina futhi, what do you want ?”,She asks.
I take a sip off my drink.
“We want Zano and Happy”,Nkosana says.
“Masingafuni ngabo nizokwenzani ngalokho?(If we don't want to with them, what will you do about that?)”,I ask and Buhlalo lightly laughs.
“Ma siyaxolisa. It shouldn't have gotten to that and we will rectify our mistakes”
“Nginishaye kancane Nina(I didn't hit you enough)”,I say and they keep quiet.
I stand up and go towards them and point my finger at them.
“If ever I hear your mother mistreat Happy uzongazi mfana. Just because her parents are far doesn't mean I am. I will fly from wherever I am to sort your mother out and angimsabi uyezwa? Nawe angikusabi umude kanje(I am not scared of her do you hear me?I am also not scared of your tall self)",I point at them.
“Yebo ma”,They both say.
“If this happens again I am going to come after you. Be warned”,I say to Jabulani and he swallows before I click my tongue.
“They are sleeping. Go and rest too in my room. Don't touch my expensive stuff, you can't afford to pay them back if they get broken”,I say and they nod and move along the passage. Buhlalo laughs.
“You made them shudder”,She laughs.
They have go know that I don't play.