Zanokuhle

Chapter 66

Chapter 66

Life, there is not garentee of how it would turn out for you even when you expect it to turn out in a certain way but it doesn't. A year ago I would've never thought that the novels I once was reading were novels that I was going to once live. Well except a brutal husband that I kept going back to but I got the sweetest version of that. 
I never thought that I would be a mother and have children, more children for that matter and actually have siblings and meet my mother though that was so unpleasant but you understand what I mean. I will be graduating from my little cooking course and soon I will see what the future has in store for me. It all just feels like a...
“Dream”,I gasp as I sit up and look around the room and it seems quiet and I am in the apartment. The one Tusani took me to as I got here.  
I feel a bit sweaty, I check the time and it is just the afternoon. My cracked screen phone is here. I feel my heart beating fast as I touch my stomach and then race out of the bed and check each and every room while shouting.
“Nkosana!”,nothing but silence. 
“Where are my kids?!”,I shout around the place. 
I go and search every room and space I could find but I can't seem to find any of my kids nor my fiancé at this point.
“Nkosana where are you?”,I don't even remember his number that properly in my head. 
I try to think of it just to call him but I can't, I try to look for my phone and I only find this beat up version of this phone that I have had for I don't know how long in my life. 
I have never felt so hopeless in my life right now. 
I feel very much agitated at the moment. I hear a knock on the door and I rush to it and I open it and I come face to face with him holding a box.
“Hey,I just wanted to apologize about what I said yesterday-”,I squeeze him in a hug and he is taken aback by my action, I am so happy to see him I was starting to get worried.
I thought that maybe what I had was a dream but he is here that means everything is true. I pull away from the hug and he has a light frown on his face.
“Are you okay?”
“Where were you? I was worried I had a horrible dream and thought that you left me.  Where are the boys?”,I ask as I make my way inside the apartment and turn to him as he is standing where he is.
“Boys?”,he asks confused. 
“Why are we back in Cape town. I thought we were moving to Joburg”,I say.
“Zano, what are you on about?”,I turn and look at him as he walks in the place and looks at me.  
I can see the confusion in his face and I don't understand it. Why is he looking at me like I am some crazy person who just made up what she is saying. 
“Us, our lives and kids as well. We have children together”
“Do you take pills?”
“No, what pills?”,I asked confused and he puts the box down and goes to the bedroom side.  I follow after him, curious of what he really wants and why is he asking me all these questions. 
The Nkosana I know is not like this, he wouldn't deny all of this right?.
He gets in and starts opening the side drawers looking for something and flips through the room. I watch him as he does so in the room that I sleep in.
“What are you looking for Nkosana?You are acting weird”
“I am not acting weird”
He carries on looking.
“You are not happy to see me.  You didn't give a kiss and comfort me when I told you I am scared and where are our kids?”,he stops what he is doing and turns around to look at me. 
“Zano we don't have kids together”
“But we are married and we have kids and we are having more on the way I...”
“Zano that hasn't happened for us”, he says a bit frustrated and I look at him confused.
Why is he acting this way and denying to us ever being together when we are together.
“Do you like me?", I have to ask him because now I am not sure.
“Ofacuse I do but that doesn't mean we are together"
“But we are Nkosana! I met your family. We have children and our whole lives together. You are part of my life as I am yours”,I say and he looks at me. 
“It doesn't make sense to me”
“We are soon to be married. We have children together don't you remember that?”
“Zano I don't know what you are talking about. I am in a relationship with someone else so I am confused on what you are saying”,I feel my heart shatter. 
“Refilwe?She is still your girlfriend?”,He clears his throat.
“Yeah she is”,I feel tears prickle my eyes and I step away from him. 
“You are lying right? Happy is going to have another baby and...”
“Happy? How do you know about her?”,I gasp. 
“It's April fools right?”,I ask. 
He seems confused than before. 
“I think Tusani needs to take you back home”,He says and starts moving.
“I am sorry about what I said yesterday and that Chilli cheese roll was great”,He says and I hold his arm. 
“Please you can't leave-"
“I am sorry, I will contact Tusani to come here quickly and hopefully you find a solution”,He gently removes himself and he walks off and I follow after him. 
“Nkosana!”,He ignores me and gets to the door and shuts it behind him. 
I sink to the floor as tears stream down my cheeks as my heart aches. 
This can't be happening to me, I can't believe this is happening. 
So all that I thought of us wasn't true? All that our lives have become wasn't true? It was just nothing?
I sob as I curl myself on the floor.  I reach out for the box and open it and it has the first ever gift I have received from him and that was chocolates. 
I can't believe this is my reality. I thought that everything was real, everything was. I feel like I am choking and my heart could stop any second now...
“Zano!”,I feel someone shaking me and I open my eyes. 
I see his face come to the light and relief washes over his face. He pulls me closer to him as I feel his skin against my face.
“You scared me”,He says softly. 
“You don't like me”,I say softly. 
“You were dreaming baby”,He says and silence consumes us. 
He breaks the hug and he wipes my eyes. 
“Don’t ever scare me like that”
“Where are the boys?”
“They are sleeping.”
“Are we married?”
“Trsditionally yes we are”,I smile and hug him as I sniff. 
“I had a bad dream. We were in Cape town in the apartment where I first lived and you came and you didn't recognise that we have kids together and you denied everything and you left me and I was heart broken,crying on the floor and felt like my heart would stop”,I sniff as I narrate what I dreamt off. 
“Is this real?”
“Yes it is real”,He kisses my forehead. 
“This is not a dream,we are together and we will be together for the rest of our lives”
“Don't leave me”,I say.
“I don't intend on doing so”,He says and I nod my head. 
“Let me get you some water”,He tries to move away from me. 
“I will come with you”,I look at him and he nods. 
We hop out of the bed and we go to the kitchen, I am really glad it was just a dream and that my reality wasn't a dream. 
What would I have been? I would've not handled everything well. 
We get to the kitchen and I wait for Nkosana as he gets me some water from the fridge and he gives it to me and I thank him. 
I take a sip of the water and I feel a bit better now.
“Pregnancies make you dream”,He says.
Actually yes, I hardly dream stuff and when I was pregnant with the twins I always dreamt of which were things from my reality.
“Yes and I don't like it”,I say.
Already I am not liking this. 
“Do you want to sleep yet or should we go through houses we will buy?”
“Let's go through houses”,He agrees with the idea and we leave the kitchen and go to the bedroom. 
He goes and grabs his laptop and fires it up. 
He soon opens it on property 24 and he types in the areas he would like to go to and we look through them. 
“This is pretty and big”,I say
“We need all the space we can get since we will be a family of 9”,He says and I nod my head.
“I want a house with atleast 9 bedrooms and they should be spacious. 4 of those rooms are for the kids and one is their play area and TV room. Another one would be their study room when they grow up and don't get crowded around the house and the rest will be for us and the guests and your study ofcause”,I say and he looks at me and smiles. 
“Do you think we will be good parents?"
“Yes”,I say and move closer to him and he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. 
“Or we can get like a plot and get a house built our own way. He says.
“That would be nice”
We go through another house and I see a big yard.
“Oouh I like this one too, these are all so pretty”,I say.
“I know. An outside area for the kids”
“Yes, that's what I like. I wish we can have some girls in the mix. I can't stay with all boys”,I say and he laughs.
“I hear you but we are not that bad baby”,I give him a look. 
“A girl is okay Nkosana too, we can't have all boys so I hope it's a mix”,I say and he nods his head. 
“Zano",He says as I am now the busy one on his laptop.
“Mmh?”
“Let's go and get married tomorrow”,He says and I look at him. 
“Ofacause!”,I hug his neck.
“Really?”,He asks as I am hugging him.
“Yes, I want to be your wife.”,I say and break the hug.
“I don't want to scare you”,He says.
“You are not scarying me at all baby”,He smiles and leans in to steal a kiss from my lips and I kiss him back. He whispers through the kiss. 
“I love you"
“I love you too"
.
.
.
The end.