Zanokuhle

Chapter 10

ZANOKUHLE
Chapter 10

Bhungane left me with his mother after staying for some time and his mother is a soft woman, she is not rough like I thought she would be or that she would shout at me for doing something that she didn’t like maybe, doing something that is totally opposite to what she told me to do but instead she encouraged me to try again and shouldn’t think much on things and have some fun while we were doing what we were doing. We were doing a 3 course meal for the day, starters being spicey livers with some garlic bread, buttered with unsalted butter. The next meal of which was the maun course and what took a bit of time was Stake with some creamy mashed potatoes serving as the starch and some vegetables that I don’t even remember what we did with them but they taste good. I couldn’t remember everything well enough because there was a lot that we were doing and our dessert was a French dessert and she told me we will use a torch on it once it has set very well. I will remember the name when she tells me again, I hope so.
“Did you enjoy today?”, she asks.
She is making some drinks, mixed with other drinks too, alcohol is here but these drinks are pink and yellow too. She is showing me how it is done with and without alcohol and I think I will ask her to show me again some day because I don’t think I will remember everything at once and I want to know all of this right now.
“Yes,I loved every moment”, I smile and she returns the smile.
“You are a really smart person Zano”, I frown.
“I am not”, I say as she pours in the drinks and she finishes up with them.
“Why do you say that?”, she asks.
“I know I am not, I would be working and educated if I was smart. I wouldn’t be here.”
“You are doing this pretty well Zano, you just need to be patient with yourself”, she says and I look at her.
We sit in silence for a moment before I hear some screaming and shouting, kids voices were what greeted me first before an adult scolding did.
“Girls what did I say about running!?”, the woman voice says and next thing I see two same face girls running into the kitchen towards Buhlalo. She wipes her hands quickly before she could even touch them they touch her.
“Hello girls”
“Hello Gogo, gogo we have something for you and grandpa”, they say together.
This is very weird. It is making me anxious. Why do they look so much alike? Am I seeing two people at the same time.
Buhlalo sees the confused and fearful state  I am in and mentions “They are identical twins”, it dawns to me that this is my first time seeing twins.
I don’t know how to feel, they are adorable but still how do they look so much alike. I know they are born on the same day. I wonder if I was ever a twin in my life. Would I look like her or would I be dressed like her.
I want to touch them!
A woman walks in and she sighs and greets. I look at her, she is just like this woman here and like Bhungane too. I see it when I look at her.
“Luu, this is Zano. Your brother’s friend”, Buhlalo mentions and she smiles looking at me.
“Special friend?”, she raises her eye brow before she comes towards me and lets out her arms.
“I am Luu, Nkosana’s little sister”,she says.
“How little?”, I ask.
She giggles and throws her silky hair backwards. She smells nice, I like the way she smells and I want to smell like that.
“Just 4 years younger”, she mentions.
“I want to touch the twins”, I say and move away from her going towards the little girls.
“Oh”, she says and they watch me.
I sit down on the floor near the twins and they look at me and come towards me to stand behind me.
“Wow, mommy look at her hair”, one says.
“Is this your hair?”,the other one mentions.
“Their names are…”
“I will not remember their names. I will get confused”, I quickly say and silence prevails.
They unplait my pigtail braids and I take my hair away from them and turn to face them.
“I want hair like this mommy”, one mentions.
They cant have my hair!
“You will one day girls”,Their granny mentions.
They look so alike but I can spot something different between each one of them. Like one is taller than the other and one is a bit chubby cheeked than the other too.
Good luck to Refilwe when she has twins with her man. These ones talk too much.
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I had some dinner before I was fetched and the twins couldn’t stop asking questions. The excitement of meeting them died down when they wanted my hair and I told them about Cuticura and they kept on asking the same question. They are loud and want things a lot that I couldn’t keep up with them. I am glad I left them back there with their mother who is okay.
“Did you enjoy your day?”, I look at this man,the night has come and we are on our way back to where I now live.
“Yes, the twins talk too much at the same time”, that is what drove me crazy. It felt like an echo in my ear.
“They are a handful sometimes”,he mentions and I nod my head.
“When you and Refilwe have them they will be your problem too”, he laughs.
Throws his head back a little and taps his hand on the steering wheel before he draws his breath back and says “That is funny Zano”
“Why is it funny?”
“Refilwe and I will not have children anytime soon. That’s the last thing I would want us to have”
“You will get married and have kids. I mean you love each other so one for each”, he laughs more.
He is laughing a lot louder and more than usual. He is even crying.
“Why are you crying? Did I hurt you?”, I am now concerned.
“I am sorry”, I quickly say as my hands start shaking.
I feel horrible now. I made him cry.
“Calm down Zano”, he is choking in his laughter. He wipes his eyes as he calms down.
“I am crying from the laughter. I needed that after the day I had”
“Bad?”
“Better now”, he says as he looks at me and I look at him before he looks away and looks ahead.
“So,you think having twins is having one child for each parent?”
“Yes”, I say and he chuckles.
“I hear you Zano.”
“Your sister invited me to go with her friends somewhere and I said I will think about it”
He looks at me with a side smile.
“That’s progress, when and where?”
“I don’t know, she said lunch”, I mention.
“Are you scared to go?”
“Yes, I don’t want to see the twins soon”, I say and he smiles.
“You wouldn’t see them tomorrow if you go. I promise you”, I look at him.
“I should go?”
“It is up to you, you are not forced to interact at times you don’t want to”
“I want to be normal”
“You are normal Zano”, he says.
I keep my silence.
Soon we get to where I live and the gate opens. He drives in and parks the car upfront and he hops out of the car and I wait for him to come and help me out. He opens the door for me and helps me out and I say “thank you”, after.
He accompanies me to the door and I open and get inside. I turn around and face him.
“Thank you, today. For being my friend that I made away from home. The first one too and also I hope you have many riches and many kids and get married with Refilwe so I can attend my first wedding too”, I say.
He tucks his hands in his pocket and he looks at me as I smile at him.
“Zano…”, he says.
“Yes?”
He clears his throat , shy’s away from my gaze for a moment before he looks back at me.
“My mom and I would like to take you to culinary school since you are passionate about being in the kitchen”
“Meaning?”, I frown. School? I don’t want to go to that nightmare.
“It’s a school for cooking. Like what you were doing with my mother the whole day. You will learn new skills there and get to be a chef when you graduate too”, my eyes light up at the word ‘chef’
“Really?”
“Yes”
“I will be cooking?”
“Yes”, I jump a little and clap my hands then I stop.
“I am scared”, I say and look at him.
“Don’t worry,if anyone bothers you, tell me okay?”, I nod my head and smile.
“Okay, bye. I want to go and bath now”, he smiles.
“Good night Zano”, I nod my head and close the door with him still standing there.
I don’t know how to feel, I feel mix emotions at the moment. I move away from the door.
He didn’t tell me what we will be doing tomorrow or what I will be doing tomorrow.
I quickly run to the door and open it and he is walking to his car. I get out and run after him with my little feet behind him.
“Wait, you didn’t tell me what I am doing tomorrow”, I say and he turns and looks at me.
“You decide what you want to do on your day tomorrow”, he says.
“I don’t know”
“You have options Zano”
“Like?”
“Again, you decide”, he says.
I am confused. This is a bit hard, what do I want to do?
“I want to have fun”, I say.
He smiles.
“I will fetch you tomorrow then we will go somewhere”,I nod my head.
“Okay, bye”, I run back inside.
.
It’s the following day and I am ready, I am always ready early when we have somewhere to go and these little trips that I partake in with Bhungane get me excited. I cant stop looking at my uniform from yesterday but I had to wash it and I made sure to do it with care. I didn’t want to ruin anything. Even the stitching of my name there. I am excited, it is how I feel with every activity that I has been stored for me.
A knock on the door surfaces and I rush to it and open it. He is standing there wearing shorts and a top with his toes out, I have never seen his toes out before.
“Your feet look bigger than mine”, I say and he laughs.
“I am taller so it’s understandable and I am a man too”, he says.
“Where are we going? I need to wear my flip flops to look like you.”
“The beach again”, he says and I smile.
“To swim? I can’t swim”, I say as I look at him.
“Don’t worry about that.”, he mentions.
“Okay”
“Are you ready?”
“Let me get my flip flops”, he nods his head and I rush off to wear flip flops like him.
I don’t have shorts so I have on a dress.
I get to him and we both leave. He tells me that we will first go to the mall and get some things for me to wear at the beach and I am excited. Now I will experience it fully and not the glimpse I once had of it.
I can’t contain my excitement.
We go to the mall together and we get to a store. Beach essentials are bought for me, what I do not have and that is sunhat, sunglasses, swimsuit and a towel. Oh and sunscreen. I thought white people put it on so they don’t get red but I guess I also have to put it on so I don’t get red. I am white aren’t I? I am joking, laugh that was very funny.
We left the mall and he drove in the direction I can’t even master if I wanted too. This time we get to what seems like a not so empty beach. Really I hardly saw anyone there but I love the sand here. it is so beautiful. I couldn’t wait to get out.
“Come so you can go and change at one of the apartments nearby”
“Someone you know lives there?”
“My family has a bit of property here and there”, he says.
“You are rich, nice. My aunt is a teacher but she is always broke. Aleast she can buy something to eat”, I say and take my things before we walk off together. The apartments he referred to here are nice. I like them. We get to one that overlooks the ocean.
“How man houses does your family have?”
“Just 3 here in Cape town. This used to be my sister’s place before she got married”
“So if you get married you will leave your place too?”, I ask as I walk around and turn to look at him.
“Yes”, I nod my head.
“There is a room ahead. You can go and change then come out that sliding door. It will lead you straight to the beach, you will find me there”, he says and I nod.
“Okay”, I walk to where he said I will change in and the room is yellow.
I like it very much, I quickly change and wear the bikini and I look at myself through the mirror. It’s light blue and I like it. I feel a bit naked but I know that I am not naked. He will not see my boobs and private thing so that is okay. I grab my towel and wear my flip flops after I was done looking at myself and I folded my things very nicely. ‘
I walk out of the room and it was easy navigating this place. I stand in the middle of where we were when we first got here and try to remember what he said. I stand there for a good amount of time and I see the sliding door and I could see the ocean. I just moved in that direction and got outside and walk on the wooden bridge leading up to the bridge and I see him by the umbrella that has a basket that looks like the one we had when we went to the grapes farm and a big navy blanket is laid there.
I run to where he is and I trip from running and he rushes to where I am and tries to help me.
“I am okay, I am not hurt”, I say and smile.
He returns the smile.
“You are something else Zano”
“We are having a picnic too?”
“Yes, water can make you hungry”, I wonder how but I will not ask.
I will not even remember the explanation well.
He helps me up and tells me to take my shoes off and I do.
Sand is on my body but I do not care,I will wash it off in the ocean. We walk towards our spot and I place my things there.
“The water here is very cold Zano”
“I know water is cold, I want to put my feet in”, I say.
“Okay”, I rush away from him and he follows me behind. I get inside the water and he grabs my waist  from behind and pulls me close to him.
His grip locking me in. The water is very cold.
“You will drown Zano, I know you are excited but the ocean is very dangerous”, he says.
“It’s cold”, I say.
“I told you”, he says and pulls me out of the ocean.
“Are you okay?”, I nod my head.
“I want to get in again”, I smile and he chuckles.
“Okay, get on my back and hold onto me.”, he says and flips me throwing me on his back and I scream.
“That was fun!”, I giggle after the scary thrill has died down.
“Hold onto my neck Zano”
“It is big”, I say.
“Hold it”, I do that and look around. He walks into the ocean and we go a bit further in and I am just a bit half way in when his whole bottom has disappeared.
“Are you okay?”
“This is fun”, I am now shaking from the coldness.
“It is cold Nkosana”, I say.
“You want to get out?”, he asks.
I nod my head.
I am not used to cold water. I don’t even bath with cold water or wash the dishes with it. He gets out of the ocean and he walks to where our things are and he puts me down and gets the towel for me and wraps me with it.
“The sun is out so you will be warm with time”, he says and I nod my head. He sits down next to me.
“Would you like to go back in there after you have taken a break?”, he asks.
“No,what is in the basket?”, I ask and he pulls it and opens it. He takes out what is inside, fruits, cheese, biltong,some water and juice and a bottle of the wine we once had.
I sit up and he chuckles.
“You sat up too quickly”
“I saw something familiar”, he smiles.
“We will drink responsibly”
“I know, come. Open it so we can drink and have some meat too”, he chuckles and he opens it and he hands over the cork to me and I smell it.
“It smells nice”
he looks at me and smiles as he pulls the wine classes out of the basket and pours some wine for us.
“What does that mean?”
“It will be good wine”, I smile and wait for him to hand me my glass.
He does and I thank him and have a sip. He gets his and closes the bottle and I have the biltong.
We sit in silence and we eat as we watch the ocean moves a bit.
“I hardly do this Zano”, he speaks after a while and I look at him concentrating on the ocean view.
“What do you hardly do?”
“Opening my day just to go to beaches and Vine yards.”
“Why?”
“I work, I didn’t have a reason to put off work for these things or plan things like these but you came and I like it. Planning things for how your day or our day could go. It’s relaxing”
“You are scared?”
He keeps quiet for a moment.
“Of?”, he responds.
“People like I was”, I say looking at him with a young frown on my face.
He turns to look at me and the eye contact is intensely maintained.
“No, I just didn’t have a reason to”, he says.
“Why do you do it now if you didn’t do it before for your other friends?”, I ask and he keeps his silence.
“I…”, he sighs after that.
“I didn’t have a reason to. Like you don’t have a reason to think you were not normal when you are. You just need to go outside and just be yourself. We are all weird in our ways Zano, no one is perfect.”
“What are you scared of the most?”, my heart beats fast as I ask that, wallow in that moment too.
“Loosing someone close to me”, he mentions.
I sigh.
“You won’t loose anyone”
“Not unless they die or walk out of my life”, he says and I feel sorry for him.
“I am sorry”, I find myself saying.
This feels sad. I don’t know why.
“Why are you saying sorry, you didn’t do anything?”,he says with a young smile.
“I know”, he takes a gulp off his drink.
I put my glass down.
“Want a hug? They make people feel better. I am sad now”, I say.
He chuckles.
“Okay”, he puts his glass down and I crawl to him and I kneel beside him and I give him a hug and he returns it.
I brush his back.
“It will be okay”, he chuckles.
“Zano I am not sad”, he says.
“I am”,I say and he holds me.
“Why are you sad?”, he asks softly as he comforts me.
I don’t know why. I remove myself from him and I look at him.
“I don’t know why”, I say and he smiles shaking his head.
“Are you okay now?”, he asks and I nod my head and smile.
“Yes, I forgot”, I say.
His phone rings and he searches for it and takes it. He answers it that moment.
“Sho”, he frowns after that.
“Make sure that they evacuate the property at this moment. I will deal with her later”, he mentions and hangs up the call. I sit next to him.
“Are you okay?”
“Refilwe is testing me”
“Why?”, I say and he is busy on his phone.
“I don’t like her coming to my place with her friends. My property is very private”
“She is being mean”, I say and he looks at me.
“Let me call someone to sort this out because if I do it she will not like the outcome”, he says.
“Why?”, I ask.
“I don’t want to say mean things to her”, he says and I nod my head.
“That’s nice of you”, I say and he smiles.
“You are so…sweet Zano”, he says.
“Well I may look white like sugar”, I say and cover my mouth as  giggle.
“Joking!”,he laughs at that. See I am very funny. He shakes his head.
“Come, lets move from here he says.
“Can we go to the water again?”, he nods his head.
He tells me that he first needs to make a call before he comes with me and I wait for him while drinking some wine. It is very nice. I pour some more in my glass and have some with food before we go to the ocean.
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The night has fallen, I feel a bit woozy and the bottle of water that Bhungane handed to me earlier is only now forgotten because I am having to much fun dancing in front of the tv with the music videos playing. We are still here in this place. The apartment that is by the ocean. He is seated on the couch and he has been making calls here and there. He called his friend and all I know is that he said he will deal with Refilwe when he gets back. That’s what I know what he said.
I am still in a bikini but we have washed off the sand so we don’t make the house dirty. My pigtails gone, my hands in the air as I am copying the girls on tv.
I feel so free.
“This is fun!”, I scream.
“You are so active”,he says and I turn to him.
“Come and dance, it’s fun”
“I can’t dance”, he says and I look at him.
“They are just throwing their hands . you can do that and I also cannot dance”, I say.
He looks at me for a moment and he sighs before he gets off the couch leaving his phone and stands next to me as we are in front of the tv.
“Do it like this”, I say and throw my hands in the air and shake my head and body.
I feel dizzy for a moment from the dancing. The alcohol did die out because I stopped drinking a while back. He catches me before I trip and I smile.
“I almost fell again”, I say and he returns the smile.
“I think that is enough dancing in front of the tv now”, he says.
“I want to pee”, I say.
“Okay, come let me show you the bathroom”,he says and he goes with me.
He is so tall and so dark, Tusani is short like me when he is next to him.He shows me and I ask him to wait for me. I get inside and go and pee. When I am done I wash my hands and walk out and he is waiting for me. We go back to the living room.
“When are we going home?”, I ask.
“Tomorrow”
“Okay”, I just keep it at that.
I sit on the couch and he joins me and I look at him.
“I like your skin colour,I wish I was dark like you and not red like I am”
“You are perfect the way you are Zano. I get mesmerized everytime I look at you”
“That’s why you look at me too much”, he just smiles.
“You look at me”, he says.
“Because you look at me.”,he shy’s away from my gaze for a moment. I curl up on the couch and rest my head on his lap.
I am going to fall asleep soon, I know. I feel tired from the jumping around. He touches my ear and plays with my hair. It feels soothing too, I like it though.
“I like that”, I say.
“What I am doing?”,he asks.
“Yes”,I say.
Silence prevails between us for a moment.
“How are you feeling?”, he asks.
“Sleepy”
“Rest, you had a long day”, he says and I find myself closing my eyes while still listening to the tv. He moves a bit and soon the volume is turned down.
.
I wake up to the sun penetrating my eyes too much, I try to open them and I hold onto someone’s knee while there is an arm on my waist. I sit up and I notice the low volume tv in front of me and I look next to me and this man is sleeping while seated. His neck is balanced by nothing. I shake him.
“Nkosana”, I say shaking his lap and he opens his eyes and I get a fright a bit.
“Scary”, I whisper and he lifts his head but groans a bit as he holds his neck.
“Mmmh?”, he says with his eyes a bit closed.
“Why did you sleep like that? We didn’t sleep properly”, I say.
“We just fell asleep Zano”, his voice is much deeper and a bit raspy.
“Woah, you sound different”, I say and he opens his eyes and he looks at me.
“It’s my morning voice”, he says.
“It sounds like a godly”, he chuckles.
“I think I liked you a bit quiet”, he says and I frown.
He rubs his neck a bit.
“What will we eat? There is nothing to eat here”, I say and he gets up, I frown as I look at him.
“We will go and get breakfast Zano, anything else?”,he asks.
“You are horny”, I say pointing at his now poked up shorts.
I know this, Tusani told me when this happens it means that he wants to have sex and his body is craving for me.I didn’t mind too.
“Shit!”, he cusses under his breath and grabs a cushion from the couch and covers his front.
I look at him.
“Get ready, we will leave in a few”, he says.
“Is your body craving for my body?”, he frowns lightly and it disappears.
“No Zano, this just happens in the morning most times. Just get ready I will take care of it”
“How?”, he looks at me.
“I will explain one day”, he says and turns walking away with the cushion. I watch him disappear.
I wonder how sex is like with someone beside Tusani. Will it be nice all the time?
I sit there and wait until he comes back and he looks okay. He places the cushion on the couch.
“Zano, we are friends and having sex is something sacred that you have with your partner and you are sure of it”, he says.
“Okay”, I say.
We get off the couch and collect our things. I get dressed in my clothes and he gets me his hoodie in the car and I thank him. He makes sure that I am secure before he even drives off.