More than just friends

~SOLACE~

PART - 31
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when you know your mistake is really big and it can't be easily forgiven with a mere sorry and you feel hurt when the same mistake is forgiven with a simple sorry , you felt pain instead of happiness.

Instead of feeling relieve you feel more guilty and this guil will soon start eating you. You want other person to scream at you , curse at you and give you some punishment but instead of those things you get nothing , not even a single glance from the person whom you hurted.

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Shehnaz cries her heart out after coming home. She locked herself in her room and tucked herself in the comforter and started crying. Her body is curled like a ball.

" Sorry " this word didn't give her relief. For this simple sorry she went through all the pain which she was still feeling.
She didn't wanted to talk to that person or want to show him her weakness by screaming , yelling or by showing him any kind of emotions so she just forgive him. She forgive him only by mouth not by her heart. Deep down in her heart she still felt Resented towards him. If he listened to her than she didn't had to go through all those things. She don't know when she felt asleep while crying.

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Days are passing like sand slips from our fist. Everything become normal for almost everyone but one person was still stucked in the most brutal memory. Shehnaz still felt scared whenever she went out from the house. She feels scared whenever someone stare her. She lowers those eyes which used to hold confidence but now those eyes hold fear. Everyone in the college show her pitty , try to confront her by saying that everything will be fine and many more things. Shehnaz didn't respond to them just gives them blank look or lower her gaze. She was losing her confidence , she was losing herself. Her smile is almost vanished from her face not because of ahaan but also because of sidharth. She lost her bestfriend whom she used to share everything but now she was not allowed to talk with him because of her feelings for him. She was locking herself in dark room where no one is there for her  only darkness was there to welcome her. Whenever someone try to talk with her she just answers them with simple node or just humm nothing else. She was losing  her weight , her fluffiness  because  of less eating. She was slowly slowly drowning in depression. She lost all her bubbly nature. Her smile fades away like light fades in darkness. She stopped wearing all her fashionable clothes like short skirts, dresses which used to look beautiful on her but now she cover herself with baggy clothes, oversized T-shirts and jeans. She liked to cover almost all her body now which gives her little bit peace. She felt secure in those clothes  because she thought that wearing this kind of clothes will not attract anyone attention towards her which was wrong because clothes does not matter in the eyes of rapist, he only notice your body not clothes.

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Sidharth was devastated from the past week because of getting ignored by shehnaz. Yeah shehnaz was ignoring him but not directly rather indirectly and it was hurting him to the core.

Whenever he try to talk with shehnaz he gets his answer with just " humm" or in node. Shehnaz didn't talk to him further or whenever he tried to talk to her further, she just said that she was tired and  their talk just end there. Whenever sidharth tried to approach her , she just ignored him by saying that she doesn't in the mood to talk with him. Whenever he sits near her , she just stand from there and went in her room. He also noticed that shehnaz also stopped going in college with him. He always tried to take her with him to college but she always called Diya to pick her for college and she also stopped spending time with her in college because she spent her all time with diya.

Sidharth was totally hurt with this, he missed her bestfriend , her smile , her long talks , he just  misses everything. He wants to talk with her and spend his time with her just like old time. He wanted to beg her for her forgiveness. He badly wanted her forgiveness. He badly wanted to see her beautiful smile on her lips back. He wanted her to smile with him , for him just like old time. He will do everything to make it possible.