Hemlock Clan: What I Am

~ XLVIII ~

Gabriel

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

I punched my bedroom wall, not caring if anyone heard the noise, the commotion. I didn't think anyone would notice anyway. The search for Cameron had just reached a high level.

Energy, bustling, voices, shouts ... the mansion was swarming with busy vampires, all teaming together, sharing the determination to find the mate of the son of the Blackwell clan.

And I should be out there with them. Helping my best friend. Standing by his side to take down the asshole that kidnapped Cameron.

But all I could think about was Cameron's blue eyed neighbour. And how he'd tasted.

Fucking delicious.

Fuck.

I punched the wall again.

"Hey, Gabe. Stop that!" Amaya came storming into my room and grabbed my arm as I reared it back again to smash into the plaster of the wall.

"What the fuck are you doing?" She let go of my arm and stood in front of me, hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes at me.

"What the hell does it look like I'm doing?" I spat at her, pissed that she was here, stopping me from taking my rage out on the concrete.

"Looks like you're punching the wall to me." She folded her arms across her chest. "Why?"

I shrugged and turned my back on her, looking out the night sky beyond my bedroom window.

"Shouldn't you be punching that asshole, Lance?"

"I want to punch him, too." I did. After what he was doing to Blake, to Cameron, the least he deserved was my fist in his face.

"And me," Amaya muttered quietly.

Chuckling, I spun around to face her. "Why? Why do you want to punch that motherfucker?"

She cocked her head and frowned at me.

"You like Blake. You've always liked him. Everyone knows that. Why the fuck do you want to smash the face of the guy who's holding his mate? Wouldn't you want Blake all to yourself?"

Amaya stomped over to me and shoved my shoulder. "Ugh! You're such an ass, Gabe!" She shoved me again, her eyes narrowed. "It's because I like Blake that I want to hurt that guy. Blake's in a lot of pain because of him. I want to smash my fist into his balls."

"That's the Amaya I know," I chuckled as she tried to swing a punch to my face. I caught her fist in my hand, brought it to my lips and kissed her fingers.

Growling, she snatched her hand away. "Fuck off!" She wiped her hand on her jeans, then balled both hands into fists. "You still didn't tell me why you were punching the wall."

Sighing, I raked a hand down my face. "I just felt like it, okay?"

"No, it's not okay." She wrapped her long red hair off of her neck and pinned it on top of her head. "You've been acting real weird lately. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing."

It was a lie. A whole lot was going on with me. I just didn't feel like telling anyone. It didn't feel right to say anything, not while the search was on for Cameron. It wasn't the right time to bring up the fact that I'd found my own soulmate.

"Like fuck it's nothing." Amaya stood in front of me and grabbed my shoulders. Her bright eyes pierced into mine. "Thought we were friends. Thought we told each other stuff."