Hemlock Clan: What I Am

~ XLV ~

Blake

I stared into the night sky beyond Cameron's bedroom window. The heat of the summer was drawing out crowds of humans. They swarmed along the streets, filled the bars, and kept restaurants busy. The city was alive on the streets below, as laughter, music and car horns assaulted my ears.

But I felt empty inside.

Two weeks.

Two whole fucking weeks and we were nowhere nearer finding Cameron than we were when he first went missing.

Breathing was becoming difficult. I could hardly move my arms, my legs. No matter how much blood I consumed, it was never enough - my energy had disappeared.

My life was slipping away.

How the fuck could I continue to live without Cameron?

I couldn't go on like this.

My eyes started to heat up, a throb building up behind them, yet no tears fell. They had all dried up, almost like my own body didn't even have the energy to produce them any more.

There was nothing left.

Sighing, I took small steps backwards in the direction of Cameron's bed. When my legs hit the edge of the bed, I flopped down on my back. Sage would be over in a bit to close the curtains and blinds in his apartment because I simply didn't have the energy to do it myself. I could barely walk, my legs ached constantly, my chest was constantly squeezing.

After the first night of trying to find Cameron, I had practically moved into his place, watching out of the windows, checking the door. Every night, I would drag Sage and Gabriel around the city, checking out every restaurant and bar, walking into hotels and clubs. We had raced around the warehouses at the docks, peered into empty and abandoned buildings. Dorian had even allowed my father and some of the clan onto his land and into his home, helping them check in rooms and outbuildings, forests and fields.

Cameron was nowhere. And it was pretty obvious by now that Lance was responsible because he couldn't be found, either.

The only comforting factor was that Cameron wasn't dead. I would know. I would feel it. The loss of my soulmate would break the bond between us and kill me, too.

But was that really any comfort? Knowing that Cameron was alive, but ...

I couldn't finish that thought, but my mind was constantly throwing up images of Lance torturing him in any and all ways possible.

I would rather be dead than having to keep living like this. Thinking this way. Pain radiated through my body, churning my stomach, causing a dull throb behind my eyes.

Fuck.

Blinking like there were tears in my eyes, I heaved a sigh. My arms were stretched across the bed, too weak to brush the hair off my forehead, the strands hanging in my eyes. My hair had grown, and there was a dusting of stubble on my face. Sage cursed me every time she saw me. Told me I was dirty, smelly. That I looked homeless.

Well, I was homeless.

Cameron was my home.

And he was gone.

Fuck.

I let my eyes wander over the ceiling, taking in small cracks, dents.

Cameron was my soulmate. He was mine. And I couldn't protect him.

Dad had managed to protect Mom for hundreds of years - she had never been kidnapped. I had my soulmate for a matter of weeks and he'd been taken from me. Ripped from my life.