Hemlock Clan: What I Am

~ XLVII ~

Cameron

Laying on my side, I felt the familiar ache in my lower body and squeezed my eyes shut, curling into a ball, wrapping my arms around my legs. I was aware of lying in the bed, naked, beneath the sheets. It was warm under the blankets, but the body next to me was cold, icy ... frightening.

Please.

Leave me alone.

Lance's arm snaked around my waist and I felt his chest come flush to my back, his erection grazing my sore ass.

Fuck.

What the hell had he done to me this time?

His hand brushed through my hair and he kissed the nape of my neck while I squeezed my arms tighter around my knees, sobs working their way up to my throat.

"Cameron," he said softly, his cool breath fanning across my neck. "I'm not hurting you." He sighed. "I'm just loving you."

I shuddered as his icy cold hand ran along my spine.

"I take away your memory because I don't want you to hurt any more." His hand moved to my arm, a finger sliding down my bicep. "I've seen your scars. I know that you've been hurt enough."

His lips brushed against my shoulder blade.

"Isn't it better that you don't remember?"

Loud sobs wrenched through my chest, tears streaming down my face.

I wanted to go home. I wanted Blake. I didn't want to be here any more.

Although Blake's body was always cool, his touch was comforting, the feel of his skin against mine didn't bring the icy cold shock that Lance's did. Blake's flesh was cold, but it felt ... good. And it always seemed to bring relief to my own hot skin.

Thoughts of Blake, of his kindness, brought fresh tears to my eyes and I let them fall, knowing it was pointless to wipe them away. They were endless.

It was my fault I was here.

If only I had just listened to Blake ...

If only I hadn't kicked him out ...

If only I had let him love me like he said he would do ...

Please.

I don't want to be here any more.

My silent prayer was left unanswered as Lance's lips brushed against my shoulder, my neck, my spine.

"Blake ... he can't love you as much as I can," he murmured as he rubbed his nose in my hair. "He's always had everything he ever wanted. He's never gone without." A hint of sadness tinged Lance's voice, but I buried my head further into the sheets, not wanting to listen to him.

"You see, my father and his father really don't like each other. They never have. Do you know why?"

I didn't care. I didn't want to know. I just wanted to get out of here.

"Blake's mother was with my father for a long time. A very long time." His fingers trailed down my arm to find my hands clasped together. He squeezed my hands, his cool flesh pricking my warm skin.

"Until she met Thornton Hemlock. And then she decided that she wanted to be with him, rather than my father." He rested his head against my shoulder. "My dad met my mom, had me. But for a while, he held a flame for Blake's mother. She had a special place in his soul. It took him a long time to get over her, to truly love the family he had made. Me, my mom. We were just second best to him."