Book Three - Fighting For You

Chapter 31

Hello! I hope you enjoy this latest chapter. You know the drill. Thanks for reading.
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I'm not even paying attention to where we're going. When we leave the room, my anxiety returns and I suddenly feel uneasy in Sam's company. I had dreamed of having Sam back and even imagined the reunion but it never went like this. A small smile tugs at my lips, lessening my uneasiness slightly, as I remember the day-well night actually-we married in Rome. How shocked I was and how it didn't sink in until the next morning.

"What are you thinking about?" Sam says from beside me.

I glance at him briefly and smile shyly. "Just thinking back to when we got married."

Sam chuckles and a shiver runs down the length of my spine. Tears sting my eyes as it dawns on me yet again that he's here. Right beside me. I look at him again, waiting for the penny to drop. To sink in that he is here and it's not a dream.

He looks across at me and grins. "I had to carry you to our room," he adds with a laugh. "And we bumped into that couple in the elevator."

When we reach the main doors, a few metres from the reception desk, I turn to him, grinning at the memory. The best part? He still remembers!

"I was worried you wouldn't remember," I confess, my smile slipping. "I don't know how much you remember about-"

His hand takes mine, sending that bolt of electricity through me that I've missed so much. "I remember everything now, Em," he says softly.

I look up at him and our eyes meet. Tears pool in mine. A sob rises in my chest and I throw myself at him, my arms wrapping around his waist tightly. When his arms wrap around me, I melt into him. It's like being home again. And this is when the penny drops. Tears freefall down my cheeks as I sob into his chest. I vow to never take advantage of Sam ever again. I couldn't handle losing him once, there is no way I could go through that again.

"I'm sorry about earlier," I say into his chest, my voice muffled. I do feel bad for the way I spoke to him.

Sam's chest vibrates with a laugh. "I think it would be pretty unfair of me to be angry. I shouldn't have caught you so unawares. I'm sorry."

I hesitantly pull away and look up at him. "You have no idea how difficult it's been," I say, my throat constricting. "I couldn't cope. Life without you meant nothing. Even though I had Lachie...I couldn't..." a lump forms in my throat and I trail off, looking away and glancing at the floor instead.

"Is that why you-?" Sam starts to ask but then cuts off, his voice cracking.

Unable to look at him I just nod. I'm ashamed to even think of being that low. It makes me feel so worthless and weak.

"David never told me," Sam says after a few moments.

Risking a glance at him, I see the sadness on his face. I did wonder why it was never mentioned but now I realise why.

"You had to get better and he probably didn't want to worry you."

His face darkens and his eyes flash with anger. "Do you really think I'd care about getting better in that situation? Emily, you're my world and not being with you and Lachie has been torture. Now knowing what you've been through..." he trails off and shakes his head then starts pacing the floor. He stops and turns back to me. "It kills me," he says with emotion.

He runs a hand through his hair, his face anguished. "To know you went through hell and I was cooped up in this stuffy place without knowing what the hell was going on with you makes me feel like the worst husband in the world." He takes my hands and stares into my eyes. "I'm supposed to protect you, Emily. I'm supposed to take your pain away. I'm supposed to make sure you never go through stuff like this. But...I wasn't and that hurts more than anything."