Chapter 23

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Hi guys, hope you enjoy this chapter. :)

I've updated on my phone so sorry for any formatting issues. Will fix them once I'm home.

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Once I'm changed, I go to the nurses' station to tell them I'm going for a walk. I also ask them if Nancy is still here and they confirm she is. To my surprise she's only a few rooms away from me. I have no idea if she knows about Sam but right now I'm there to see her. If the topic of Sam comes out, I'll think about telling her. I also have to judge her mental state. I don't want to upset her anymore.

When I reach her room, I poke my head around the door and see her sitting in bed staring at the wall. No one else is with her. I have to confess I'm relieved as it'll be nice to talk to her alone.

My stomach flutters with nerves as I recall our last two encounters. I don't know if I can handle an outburst from her today so I hope like hell she's calmer.

Taking a deep breath, I tap lightly on the door then step into the doorway. Nancy slowly turns her head then when she sees me, her eyes widen and I feel my spine stiffen. This could either go really badly or really well. Is she going to freak or welcome me with open arms? I offer a small smile as a peace offering and take a step into the room.

I watch her cautiously as I approach the bed. As I draw closer, her eyes never once move from me and I can see tears in them.

"Hi," I greet awkwardly when I reach the bed. "How are you?" It always feels like such a silly question but I don't really know what else to say.

She blinks a couple of times. "Emily?" she asks, squinting a little as though I'm an apparition to her. "What are you doing here? Jason said he couldn't get in contact with you." She shrugs and looks away as she adds, "I thought you had left with Sam and Lachie and decided you wanted nothing more to do with me." She looks back up at me and gives me a small, sad smile. "Not that I would blame you."

Knowing that it's safe, I sit next to her and take her hand. "So I'm presuming Mum and Dad didn't tell Jason anything?"

Nancy's brow furrows. "Tell him what? All he said was that he saw your parents and they didn't give anything away. I figured they were protecting you."

I shake my head. "I only found out a few minutes ago that you were here." There's so much I need to tell her but right now is not the time. "I'll explain later. Right now I'm here for you, Nancy. I want to know how you are."

"Why do you care?" she asks as she turns her head away. I still see the tear that slides down her cheek. "I pretty much threw our friendship in your face. You don't have to be here because you feel guilty, Emily. I know I'm to blame for everything."

I squeeze her hand and she looks back at me. "I don't blame you for anything, Nan. I'm here because I want to be." I pause then add in a soft voice, "I'm really sorry about the baby." Saying it reminds me of my own new pregnancy and a shiver of fear runs down my spine. It's not the fear of being pregnant, it's the fear of having to do it alone. Yet now that I've decided to keep it, I also have a fear of losing it. I'm so messed up.

This is not about you, Emily. Focus on your friend.

Taking a deep breath, I mentally shake my head and turn my attention back to Nancy. Tears are now streaming down her cheeks. "So am I," she finally whispers. "After it happened I totally blamed myself. I'd been ignoring how I felt and didn't get help when I needed it." She sighs heavily and her shoulders slump forward.

"Nan, what happened?" I ask, deciding it's safe to do so. "What caused all this? It's like..." I trail off and take a deep breath, "...it's like being pregnant changed you."

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