My New Life is not what i expected

Raiden can be a (kind) person.

When someone is asked about how they want to live their life in school, there are two possible answers.

-I want to have an active social life, lots of friends, maybe a beautiful girlfriend, and enjoy 100% of my youth.

The typical response of an ordinary person. It's not a bad thing, but it depends on each person's perspective.

-I want this suffering called school to end so I can go home and not have to see any of my classmates. I really detest them.

Similar to the previous response, opinions are divided, but a group of students thinks this way.

Now, if you ask me which of these two thoughts is mine, I must go for the third option.

You might wonder, "What is that third option?" It's simple: go with the flow, as fighting to escape is impossible. In short, surrender and let yourself be carried away by the current.

I know, that sounded very vague on my part.

Why do I think as if my situation were the worst in the world, or impossible to deal with?

Am I exaggerating?

I think that will depend on each person's opinion.

You see, since I entered Sobu High, I aimed for a quiet and monotonous life, but that didn't last a day.

Part of me also didn't expect much from it.

Making excuses that fate hates me is pointless, as I am aware that all my actions have had consequences. Initially, I didn't think too much about it, wanted to attribute it to the whims of fate, but a part of me knew that it wasn't like that, no matter how much you lie to yourself, you will always know the truth.

Maybe this would be a good time to have a flashback about my entire life or the decisions that led me to this moment. If it were a book, maybe 40 to 50 pages of pure memories, but I'll pass on that since I don't have all the time in the world for it.

At this moment, classes have already ended, so it's time for clubs, although I'm on the rooftop lost in my thoughts.

I don't have a specific reason to be here; I just wanted to be in a quiet place for calmness, ironically.

Wouldn't it be better to be in the service club if I'm looking for a calm environment?

That would have been before, well, a few weeks ago, as since two new members joined, peace is nonexistent in that place.

An endless war would be the most accurate definition.

Is there a culprit?

If I think about it, if I had gone with Yumiko at that moment, explained everything, and returned to the club the next day, I'm sure my somewhat monotonous days would have stayed that way. But here, the stupid number one at Sobu High had the great idea of observing everything because it seemed entertaining.

Do I regret it?

I don't even know the answer to that.

Maybe some are confused about how I express myself about a situation I haven't given details about.

But here I am, talking to myself as if there were someone listening to my thoughts, so I'm not that sane.

I really need someone to talk to about this, but unfortunately, there's no one to share my thoughts with. That's why acting as if I were telling someone based on my thoughts is my only way to unwind a bit.

A psychologist?

I have bad experiences with psychologists. If they're all as crazy as she is, I'd rather keep doing it my way.