Pain Always Comes After Happiness | TMF

Thank you...

Aw gosh...

So yeah it's over, and I'm relieved but at the same time, I'm going to miss writing it so much. It's actually the first book I've ever written, on my own.

If you'd look at the first chapter, compared to the last chapter, I think it's a big difference in writing. Like wow. But at the same time, I've kept part of the same writing style, since of course, it's the same book. But the first chapter, I cringe so hard, with the same as all the other chapters. I don't know what it is, I just like the last chapter, for some reason.

Though you guys probably could tell, I lost motivation to write awhile through. 😅 (mostly you Wattpad people, I guess.)

It's not that I didn't enjoy it, of course I enjoyed it! It's just that, I used to write every chapter I think 1-10, every night. I would have a chapter done a night. And that was before I started posting it on Wattpad, before, it was only Quotev. Eventually, I started posting PACAH on YT! Mainly because I thought having a YT channel would be fun, and I could post my story on there too!

That was when I got a comment saying someone couldn't find my book on Wattpad. No, my book hadn't been posted on Wattpad yet. But that comment told me, hey, let's post it on Wattpad as well, let's see how far we could go. And so in a few minutes, I posted all the chapter's I had currently, on Wattpad. The night I posted it, I think I got something like 200 reads on it? And each chapter I posted, kept getting more and more reads on it! And I started to get more comments on it! It seemed you guys really liked it, huh? Though, all I thought of this book, was that it was way too cringe and had way too many twists, even for my mind. Which, as some of you know, is pretty angst filled, and that's what my brain likes.. angst.

I didn't deserve the attention I got for it, I really didn't. And honestly, I still don't know why some of you guys enjoy this book, and call it your favorite? Some of you told me it was such good writing, some of you told me that this was way too good for their own eyes. But really, do I really deserve this attention and compliments? I don't even think my writing is that good, I mean, my English grade is.. not the best. So really, I don't understand? What is it about the book that you guys like?

But, anyways. Let's get to talking about the chapters about this thing. Chapter 1, I wrote thinking it was just something I'd end at Chapter 10. At around Chapter 4, I researched how much chapters a book should have, and so I settled on having 30 Chapters, that was my plan for a very long time. One of my friends joked that I should make it 35 chapters, to which I agreed. But now, saying, I don't think I'd allow myself to do that. And on Chapters 4-8, I decided that I really didn't like this book anymore. It's not that there was much wrong with it, but I just.. didn't like it. I didn't like the idea that Zoey tried to murder Jake a lot of times, and then they instantly find out that they're related, not only that, but long lost twins? No, I questioned myself on why I would do that. I hated the book from then. Until, I decided, to make it 'Just a Dream'. Which means I made chapters 2(1/4)-8(1/2), just a dream. And then I decided I liked the book from then. And then when I posted Chapter 26, a lot of you thought it was the last chapter, even though so many things haven't been resolved yet! Like, Zander hadn't woken up for example! But no, I was planning 30. But on Chapter 27 I was told that yeah, you thought it was the end. PROBABLY COZ I TOOK TOO MUCH TIME TO WRITE 27 BUT STILL- I decided to mash everything from Chapter 28, 29, and 30 into just Chapter 28.

Though, I lost motivation quickly... It took months to work on a chapter, it took months to get a YT chapter out. (I ended up quitting PACAH on YT, and focusing more on my OC's, and small TMF videos) It seemed that I had no interest in doing this anymore, even though I still enjoyed it? I lost my motivation very quickly, and for a very long time. The last few chapters had MONTHS in between them. It seemed like I was never gonna finish it. But I did, a lot later than expected. It was supposed to be finished in March, April maybe. But my motivation was down the drain. And I have the biggest procrastination problems, so I've also been struggling a lot in school, both last year and this year. So, yeah, that's probably why my motivation left me, not that I didn't like the book.

BUT!!! I just wanted to say that.. This book was quite literally the best decision of my life!

You might all think I'm crazy for saying this, right? Well.. Let me explain!

I met the 3 best people in the world, just by writing this book. I can't explain how they all saved my life. Like, at this point, it feels as if I cannot live without them. They're my favorite people of all time! (Plus Vio, I see you, I see you) But like, help! Those people really are the best people ever! They helped me through so much without even knowing it! I can't express it!

And, I know 2 out of the 3 people are reading this. Sadly, the 3rd one doesn't really have an interest in the book anymore, or me at all. But if you are part of the 3 reading this (you know who you are), I just wanted to say that I love you, and thank you for everything! Thanks for being there! Thanks for wanting to be my friend, and thanks for all you've done! Even on my bad days, which or so many days, I always tell you that I'm good, because when you text me, I feel better. And that's the truth. I love you guys, so much <3

But to everyone else,

Thanks for making my writing dreams come true!

Yes, I will be writing another book! TMF book! It's a Mystery! I still need to figure out who the main characters are! I hope you guys like that one better than you liked this one! Hopefully I can make it better for you all!

I'm actually gonna cry, it hits different when I've been writing this for exactly 9 months. So yeah, you guys are probably thinking, it's another fanfiction that ended. But yeah, it changed my life so much! I'm grateful for that! (I'm actually thinking of why the heck I'm writing this again, I'm second guessing my choices on if this is necessary or not, which it is not. At all.)

Just...

Thank you <3

Thank you so much! <3

You didn't have to read this far, but you did, I appreciate that.

With lots of love and hugs (and kisses/p)

~Sunny