Mafia's Mate

Doubt and guilt

>>Clio

The look in his eyes was weird.

His pupils shook for a moment. Like something broke in them.

I held my wrist softly and sealed my mouth shut.

I don't know what it was, but something inside of me knew I had spoken wrong.

Very wrong.

"I-" My voice trembled, "I didn't mean that, I-" I felt so bad, "I'm sorry," I shook my head, "I didn't mean to take it out on you." I meant it. My words weren't for him. I just lashed out at him because he was there, "I'm really sorry,"

He didn't say anything in return. He moved with a tenderness that caught me off guard. His arms enveloped me, drawing me into a hug.

???

As he held me close, a strange mixture of vulnerability and comfort washed over me. The residual tremors of my sobs gradually subsided, replaced by the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

I was confused though, why was he doing this? Just why? And why does his touch feel so nice? When he's near, I feel better.

Am I losing my mind or something? I barely know him...

Then, with a gentle strength that belied his sturdy frame, he lifted me in his arms.

???

"Sir?" I looked at him in confusion. The world outside seemed to fade as he carried me, "Where are you taking me?" But he didn't answer. He didn't even look at me, he just walked and took me to the bathroom.

"You should warm up," He set me down near the tub, "Or you'll get a fever again," He didn't meet my gaze and turned around to leave, "I'll leave some clothes outside." And he simply walked away.

...

I watched his back while my chest squeezed.

I felt a sense of guilt and a different kind of sadness loomed over me.

What have I done?

I'm the one with problems... Why did I take it out on him?? Why? When he's been nothing but sweet to me. He's pretty much the only one who's helped me while I've been here...

***

My body warmed as I soaked myself in hot water in the bathtub. My mind was occupied with specific thoughts.

About Matthew

Why is he so adamant about wanting to help me? Can he help me? How the hell did he find out I'm a girl?!?!? It just doesn't make any sense!!!

....

I dipped myself deeper in the water.

'You smell like a woman'

I blew bubbles underwater as his statement revolved in my head.

Let's assume that he can smell stuff like that. But! He didn't say anything like that before. Why? I've always been a girl. I may have been sick but-

!!!

My eyes shot open underwater as a realization hit me.

Or is it because of the injection I got?

I popped my head out of the water.

The treatment is supposed to help me get normal.

Is that it?!

I bit my lower lip as I felt anxious...

I shouldn't have gotten that... I still need time to get myself out of the country. And mom isn't doing very well either...