I wish you loved me in the ways I did.
I didn't want someone else, not him, not her.
You
So why couldn't that happen? Why couldn't you love me?
Was I really that bad?
Was it that easy to let go of what we had?
I don't know..and that's the problem.
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*Wynter's Pov!*
The past few days have been repeated apologies. Jason hasn't done anything since the fair a week ago. But that doesn't change the fact that he did it. We hadn't been talking long, and once we kissed I knew it was a mistake. But it's not like I can fix it anyways, I don't want to even think about it right now.
When Liv told me that he scared her, this isn't what I thought she meant. I thought he was really pissed, not anything like this. So when I hear a knock at my front door, I hope and pray it isn't him. But my life sure is lucky, because low and behold it was. I slowly opened it, being pulled straight into his arms.
My body tensed in his, I didn't want to hug him. I didn't want to be near him at all. My mind has been slowly and slowly filling with anger ever since it happened. He is somebody else, he isn't the person I thought he was. Yes, he is hurt because of Liv. But calling her a slut, that just wasn't right. She is nothing like that, what she did was wrong. She knows that, but him doing that wasn't right either. But I'm too scared to say anything, what if he does something again? I don't want to cause an issue, especially with him.
So I'll keep it to myself, I don't need anyone else's help and no one would believe me. Jason is someone we all have known since we were kids, nobody would expect him to do this. And honestly, neither did I. Maybe he was just angry, If he does it again then I'll really start to worry. Until then I'll hug him back, I'll let him be around.
My thoughts leave my mind once he lets go, bringing me to the kitchen. "You want me to make you something?" He asks, opening some cabinets. "Not really." He turns around, staring down at me intensely. He steps closer, my shoulders tense as he cups my cheek. "Wyn, please talk to me." I look up, staring at his eyes. I'm so confused, how can he treat me this way but also treat me....that way.
I don't understand how he can act so sweet and so ruthless in just seconds. It's like, right now he is a completely different person. And I hate that I'm in love with this sweet version of himself. But the other part of him, makes me want to cry. "I'm fine Jason." I lie, but he sees right through it. He kisses my forehead gently before bringing me back into his arms.
This time, it's not tense but rather calming, and apologetic. "Wynter, I'm really sorry about the fair. I don't expect you to forgive me, or even forget about it. But I want you to know that it won't happen again." He says, slowly meeting my eyes. "I...I saw Liv and Alice at the fair, and it just made me feel so...angry. I shouldn't have done that to you."
"Jason, what she did was wrong but doing something like that isn't right either. She didn't want to hurt you." He scoffs, making me confused. I want to take a step back, feeling tension build. I can see he is angry, and fear builds further in knowing he might do something. But instead he sighs, looking down at me. "You're right, I'm sorry for taking it out on you." He says, holding onto my hand.
His eyes are sincere, but a hint of them are angry which puts me on edge. "Wynter, I didn't mean to hurt you." I look down, I don't even bother to meet his eyes. I know he is sorry, but sorry doesn't change what he did. He can't erase that. "Wyn, I know I can't change what I did. But I promise It won't happen again. I never want to hurt you." He slowly backs away, giving me my space.
"I saw your story post, maybe I can take you to that Italian restaurant to make up for it?" I was about to say no, but he walked back toward me. His hands laced through my hand, pushing it back. "I want to take you, and I want to just talk. It's been weird ever since, I want to fix this." He pleaded and every part of me didn't want to say no.
He was trying, and maybe he was changing. Theo has always told me to trust that people can change, and I guess I will do that for him too. "Okay." He smiled, kissing me softly. "Thank you, I can go if you want and pick you up tomorrow?" I nodded in response as he kissed me again goodbye, eventually leaving out the door.
I don't know how I could want to smile and cry all at the same time.
