Missing - JJ Maybank

Stars.

Trigger Warning: Emotional scene, violence, mentions of rape, and brief details of a child passing away.

This chapter made me cry while writing it, so read at your own discretion, it's very sad. The super emotional part is at the end.

It's been an hour or so since I've been internally spiraling while everyone goes on and on about John B being invited to the bonfire by some girl and that they think he should let loose since him and Sarah apparently broke up recently. I guess she was still mad that he treated her bad after her dad blew up, which is understandable, I'd be hurt too.

I can't get over how easy it is for everyone to go behind my back to do things together. This whole thing gives me flashbacks to when JJ took my virginity and then took off to spend time with our friends behind my back while pretending to work. I don't know why he couldn't have just been honest and told me he needs a break from me, I would have understood and been less hurt than how I feel right now.

I flinch when someone touches my chest, my eyes rapidly blink, trying to understand what's happening but I feel like I'm being suffocated by my fear now. My hands push at the hands on me, my nerves light up as flashbacks scramble in my brain.

Hands cup my face, holding me still, "It's just me, Tesoro."

My shoulders drop, my breath settles when my vision clears, seeing honey brown eyes staring into mine while everyone else watches with worried looks, "I.. I couldn't see for a second, it scared me."

"I'm sorry," Matias lets my face go at the same time I realize he's picking up my wedding rings off my chest, "you found the necklace?"

"I.. um," My arms cross, my fingers dig into my small muscles to hide how shaky they are, "I always knew where it was. Maceo took it away, he didn't think I should wear something you got me."

His jaw clenches before he adjusts his face to look happy, "I'm glad you're wearing it now."

JJ sits down next to me, his eyes on my ring, shaking his head when I tense, "It's beautiful."

"Thank you." I respond in a small voice, barely meeting his eye when I push myself up off the couch and head inside.

Tears run down my cheeks as soon as I'm crossing the small living room to the hallway, my arms hugging myself while I disappear into my room to be alone. I make sure to lock my door before getting the baggie of coke Matias begrudgingly gave me the other day, my hands are shaking so badly that it's hard to get my line ready but I manage to make it work and snort it before cleaning up my mess.

Once I'm done I lay back in the middle of my bed and stare up at the ceiling, hating how I feel right now, hating that I'm living a different life than everyone else. I'm here but I'm not. Their lives are continuing while I've been struggling to get myself out of bed just to do small tasks to take care of myself, today was my first day out in the real world since coming home from being locked away in a basement and instead of it staying a happy moment, I was crushed into nothing by my friends and boyfriend, being reminded that I'm still locked away in a house withering away. My pain is just different in this place. Whatever.

"Princess?" JJs voice sounds from the other side of my locked door, "I need to change."

My head pounds when I sit up and make my way to the door, clicking the lock before laying back down, "Have fun."

"Are you alright?" He sits down next to me and rests his hand on my thigh, squeezing lightly so I look at him, "You seem upset."

"Doesn't matter." I move my leg so his hand falls off, but he puts it back and digs his fingers into my skin, "Just go party, Jay, go relax."