Missing - JJ Maybank

Shock.

I guess after being upset yesterday, JJ convinced everyone to wait until today to pawn the gold, which is embarrassing. He just told them I was upset over what happened at Mrs. Crains but that's far from the truth, in reality I just acted like a crazy bitch that needed to be fucked after a fight. Whatever. 

My eyes stay low while I cross my yard, sitting myself down on the floor on the Twinkie, dangling my feet out the door while Kie melts the bars down into one solid piece. My mind wonders for a while until I hear Kie and JJ arguing about her melting job. 

The way they interact always bothers me now. Stop being jealous, Kaila. They wouldn't sleep together behind my back. JJ wants me. Right? But having to breakdown just to get him to fuck me isn't helping my confidence. The last time I felt this insecure was when I caught JJ fucking Kie in my bed. 

JJ catches me watching them talk, he steps away from her, before saying something and walking towards me, "Ready to be rich, Princess?" He presses a quick kiss to my lips before leaning against the side of the Twinkie.

I nod, "I just want this to go right for us, I feel like a lot can go wrong."

"It'll all work out, we deserve this." He gives me a reassuring smile, so I force a smile back but I don't feel better about it.

I can't help but feel nervous now. People have died over this gold. There's obviously others looking for it, people like Singh, who chase after every treasure hunt there is to find. How can we know it'll all work out? And anything I'm involved in always seems to go to shit. 

I silently try to calm my heartrate down while we all head to the pawn shop on the edge of the Cut. The feeling of something going wrong is weighing me down, making me fall into the endless loop of thoughts that always consume me in moments like this. I don't know if it's because of the gold or is it my relationship, at this point it all scares me, the future scares me. I can't handle any more pain, loss or to be alone at the end of all of this. 

The van slows so I glance up, catching JJ and Sarahs concerned expressions, my face adjusts to a weak smile, but I doubt I convinced them I'm fine since they're still eyeing me while everyone gets out. 

"I'm going to stay in here, Jay." I quietly tell him, while running my hand down his arm.

He furrows his brows, stopping right in front of me so he's kneeling on the floor, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I don't feel good." 

"Okay, Princess, we'll be quick." He kisses me tenderly before climbing out, leaning back into look at me, "Leave the door open so you don't get too hot."

I nod, staying silent so he finally sighs and walks off to follow everyone inside. JJ has the job of negotiating the deal for the gold since everyone agreed he's the best liar, which is another thing circling my mind. Does he lie to me anymore? Has he really changed? Will he break my heart again? Will he be mad when he finds out more of my secrets? 

Shut it out.

I start to hyperventilate, cursing myself for being such a stress ball, "Pick up the phone Rafe, pick up." I whisper to myself while listening to the phone ring, "Come on." 

"What's wrong?" His voice sounds panicked while he listens to me struggle to breathe.

"I feel like.. something bad is.. going to happen to.. me.. soon." 

Tears run down my face. 

"Kaily, everything's okay. Breathe. Where are you?"

"Barry's... Pawn shop."