Felicity Reviews

Review by El: Blue Bloody Ribbon📗

Reviewer: El (footnoteofhappiness)

Requester: Blue Bloody Ribbon by VeraChendra

Summary - 3/5

While I'd like to say your summary is strong, there are quite a few grammatical errors that takes away from the power of it.

Such as:

1. '...be impossible the more she get involved with the famous-or infamous, depending on who you're asking...'

This should be: "...be impossible the more she gets involved with the famous, or infamous depending on who you're asking, ..."

2. '...Ivan Is known as the man...'

This should be "...Ivan is known as the man..."

3. '...family has operated has been part of the underworld...'

This should actually be written as: "....family have operated as part of the underworld..."

But that last line (the question) is absolutely gold. I love the use of 'frayed ribbon' in there.

Grammar/Punctuation – 3/5

There are quite a few errors throughout the story but nothing that overly disrupts the flow of it. I have commented under them so you can see them all. It could definitely benefit from a thorough editing. Most of the best parts are already there, just with a few grammar mistakes.

Character Building - 5/5

I love how well you have built each separate character so that the reader can clearly see the differences between them all. It certainly shows a good writer when the character development is consistent and true to their character arcs. So well done here!

Slowly, I found Anya to be my favourite character by far. She is just so clever and witty. She is definitely someone I would want on my side. She is also extremely resourceful in the few chapters I have seen so far.

I also enjoyed Meera's 'uncle' the Italian Don quite a lot. Even if we only saw snippets of him at the start before Meera had to leave LA.

Writing Style - 5/5

You have a beautiful style of writing that makes it easy to follow on and get entrapped by the story itself. I found that it was easy to keep up and stay in the moment, absorbing each part of the story. There was hardly any points where I felt lost or confused so you definitely described things quite well. I found like I was in the story right alongside Meera herself.

Plot Originality: 5/5

I have not read a story like yours before but that might also be because it's not usually my genre of choice but this was so brilliant to read that I can see why it is a popular genre. To me, this plot was pretty unique and executed in an original way to guarantee reader engagement.

Comments:

I absolutely adore your cover for this story. It is quite nicely done and very eye catching.

I also find it quite comical that what you asked me to focus on are already your best parts rather than your weakest parts. You should definitely invest some more time into editing and watch this story absolutely blow everyone away - in a way, it has already. I have only read up to five or so chapters of the story due to limit of time but I think this is written amazing so far.

The editing could also help hone your summary into a much more concise piece of introductory to your story.

All in all, I can see myself continuing to read and enjoy this story beyond this review.

I have left comments scattered throughout your story for you. Please check those out too.

Focus points:

I have tried my best to leave in depth comments under the three things you asked me to focus on for this story. Some parts there are only so many words to write 'perfect' haha, hope you understand!

Overall Score: 21/25