The Final Choice

39 Colby's POV

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I pulled Callie along with me, to my car. I opened the door for her, then jogged around to the driver's side. I didn't really know why I was so excited to do something as basic as go buy a swimsuit, but I was. Maybe because it was with Callie.

I just wanted her to enjoy herself, no matter what. Her first night here definitely didn't turn out great...still pissed me off. I regretted that I ever stopped hitting that piece of shit that thought he had the right to not only put his hands on her, but to hurt her! 

I slid into the car, pulled my door closed, and pushed the thought from my mind. I didn't want that to hang over us today. I wanted to help her forget it, even for just a little while. 

"So, we're in the car," she said, as I started it up and backed out of the driveway. "Tell me about Coachella." "Well, I've been a few times now," I said, shooting a grin at her. God, she was beautiful and had no clue.

Her hair was tousled already, from her running her hands through the wavy tendrils, the mixture of colors shining when the sun hit them. Her face was glowing, her cheeks rosy without the need for makeup. 

She bit her bottom lip, drawing it into her mouth slowly. "And? What was it like?" I looked back at the road, aware that I had been looking at her too long. Somehow, I had managed to stay on the road. 

The trip didn't take us too long, and it went by even quicker, with our conversation. I told her about each time that I had went to the annual festival that they threw in California every year. I told her about the music, the food, the friends, the dancing, and even the bad choices that I had made when we were partying.

That earned me a disapproving glare, but she didn't comment on it. It wasn't like I was an addict or did some crazy drugs all the time, but I had been known to do the occasional upper or downer depending on the situation. 

She laughed at the funny parts, smirked when I talked about dancing, and got a dreamy look in her eyes, when I told her about the music. "It all sounds amazing. I can't even imagine what that's like. The only concert I've ever been to, was an unknown rock singer in the local square."

"Maybe you can go with me next time," I suggested, as I pulled into a parking space. "I think you'd really enjoy it." I put the car in park and killed the engine. "Ready to do this? I asked, turning towards her. 

She looked nervous, which I thought was a little weird. "Is your anxiety okay?" I murmured, reaching over to take her hand in mine. "We don't have to do this, if its a bad time." She shook her head, letting those wavy tendrils fall around her face. "No...I just...I'm not...nothing. It's nothing. Let's go," she sighed, as she opened her door. 

"No, wait, Cal!" I insisted, holding onto her hand. "Tell me what's wrong. Please." "Colby, it's stupid," she groaned, leaning back in her seat. "If it makes you uncomfortable, it's not stupid," I replied. "I promise I won't laugh or anything." "Uuughh, why do you make me talk about shit?" she muttered, sounding annoyed. 

Well, shit. I didn't want to force her to talk about anything, if she didn't want too, but I did want to know what was wrong. I was never sure how to handle touchy situations anymore. 

"You don't have to talk about it," I sighed. "I was just trying to help, but I understand if you just don't want too." She squeezed my hand and smiled gently. "I usually like when you make me talk about shit. Like with Will. It helped, in the long run. This just feels really stupid. I'll tell you though, but only because I need the ego boost that I know you'll give me right now. Even if you don't really mean it." 

My mouth dropped open in shock. "I always mean everything I say to you," I insisted, very aware of the things that I had said in the past. She rolled her eyes, like she didn't believe me, and took a deep breath. 

"I'm not...comfortable showing my body. Bathing suits are a hard thing for me to deal with around family, much less anyone else. I know it's just gonna me and you. Maybe Sam later, but that doesn't matter. It's just another fucked up thing in my head.  I usually wear a long T-shirt over them, if I'm being honest, just to feel more comfortable."

She was looking down at her lap, pulling on the frayed edges of her shorts, nervously. "Cal," I sighed, heavily. I hated that she felt this way about herself. She always had, for some reason that made absolutely no sense to me. She was fucking gorgeous! 

"Listen to me. I know its going to go in one ear and out the other, but try to retain what I'm saying to you. And, believe it, because I mean every word. You are perfect. There is NOTHING wrong with you or your body. You have curves in all the right places. Who cares if you're not some cookie cutter Barbie girl? You're real!" 

She rolled her eyes at me again, and a sad little smile appeared on her full lips. "I'm serious, Callie. Did you know that I've always been insecure about myself? Especially after moving to LA. I was always worried about if I looked at good, or as wealthy, as the other people that I hung around. The thoughts were always there. I even packed on a few pounds when I was about 21 or so. Got pretty thick," I chuckled, thinking about when Taco Bell was my only source of sustenance. 

She laughed and shook her head. "And I bet you still had a million girls online ogling over you! You've always been handsome, Colby. You don't get it. You can't." She shrugged. "I've never been 'wanted' by anyone, other than Will. That's not really great for the self esteem factor. Plus, my sister and other members of my family made sure to let me know that I wasn't a skinny Barbie girl. You don't have to tell me that," she scoffed. 

I could see the old hurt in her eyes from years ago and anger flooded my veins. I wanted to cuss and scream at her family for what they had done to her. For the way they had taught her to hate herself. It made me physically sick to think about. 

"It doesn't matter what other people think about you. Yeah, of course it's an ego boost, when girls go crazy over me online, but that doesn't stop the insecurities. They're still there. I still get worried about my hair, my weight, are my abs toned enough, are my cheeks too plump, and so many other things. We all have insecurities. I'm absolutely positive that any swimsuit you get is going to look so fucking hot on you. Besides, you only get one body, sweetheart. Love it. I do."

She looked up at me, with tears in her eyes. I never wanted to think of her as broken, because I didn't believe it...but the look in her eyes told me different. I wanted nothing more than to take her into my arms and sooth away all of her pain, her past trauma, and all of her insecurities. I wanted to be able to worship her body, to show her that I thought it was perfect...but I couldn't do that. 

Instead, I sighed and got out of the car, to walk around to her side. I held my hand out to her, pulled her up and into my arms. Her arms went around my back, clinging to me tightly, as I stroked her hair. 

"You're perfect, Cal. Please, believe that. Don't let anyone else, not even me, dictate what you believe about yourself. Life is too short to be scared to live, because of what others might think," I whispered, softly. 

She didn't reply, but she tightened her arms around me and pressed her cheek into my chest. We just stood there for a few moments, before she finally let her arms drop. I saw her discreetly wipe her cheeks, before she looked up and met my gaze. Her eyes were glassy and tinged red, with her cheeks a little more flushed than usual. She still looked just as beautiful as ever. 

"Still wanna do this? Or do you wanna go back home? Either way, I'm down. We don't have to swim, if you don't want too," I said, gently. She bit the inside corner of her lip and stared at me for a moment, before she held her hand out to me.

I took it, without a second thought. "No, I want to go swimming. Fuck it. Not saying that I won't still put a T-shirt on to cover up, but damn it, I'm gonna go get a swimsuit. Let's do this," she replied, with a new determination in her voice. 

I smiled, just one side of my lips turning up, and nodded. "That's my girl," I chuckled, as I wrapped my arm around her neck and brought her in for another quick hug. I kept my arm around her, as we started walking towards the store.

Anyone, who saw us, would think that we were a couple. I was weak enough to admit that I still wanted that with everything in me. The teenage boy inside of me was screaming in triumph again.