C.O.D. X Male!Reader Oneshots

I don't understand, why do you care about me? -König-

Angst → Fluff.

C/n is code name.

Requested by; portalsfairy.

Warnings; Mentions to self harm and self destructive tendencies.
(As always please reach out if you experience these thoughts or feelings. You can always message me or someone you are close to. You're loved homie. <3)
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You weren't exactly the greatest person when it came to your emotions, and this last mission did nothing to help these thoughts. The mission started out great but everything plummeted. You couldn't even manage to complete a fucking mission properly.

How the fuck were you going to make yourself useful on a high ranking team of highly trained military personnel when you, König's second in line can't even fucking do a mission correctly? Exactly. You wouldn't. You tried to use the punching bag in the bases gym as an outlet for some of your emotions but it did nothing and you didn't exactly want to relapse but it felt right. So very right.

You tried to avoid it but you found yourself fidgeting with the pocket knife you kept on you at all times. Pulling the blade out before clicking the button to set it back in it's original position, of course before you put it away you had to run your finger over the blade. It didn't cut you but gave you the reminder that all you had to do was be alone with your thoughts for a mere few moments because you and that knife could get acquainted really well.

A little too well, if you will.

As you sat with your thoughts during König's recap of your failure you continued to play with the knife. Having pulled it out of your pocket at one point to mess with it under the table, lightly dragging it across your hand till you felt it go fully across your palm. König noticed that you were zoning out, which he wasn't fond of. Here he was scolding you for a careless mistake while you just sat there tracing your palm with a knife, completely zoned out.

"Am I boring you, c/n?" He grumbled, you lifted your head, eyes meeting with his, you shook your head. "No sir. I was zoning out. My apologies." You swallowed thickly. It wasn't a lie, but also not exactly the full truth. König sighed, "We will continue this conversation another time. Until then, you are dismissed." He waved his hand in a shooing manner, telling you to leave, which you gladly did. Another moment in his office and you would've probably gained the balls to actually slit your palm open.

Closing the knife you slipped it back into your pocket as you got up. Faint red lines showing where you had traced the blade across your skin, it wasn't hard enough to break the skin but enough to leave it irritated and warm to the touch. You flopped on your bed, an idea popping into your mind, you could just leave a few marks to your skin, it's not like anybody's gonna notice if you do it on your thighs or somewhere more secluded.

You decided against it for the time being, going to train for a little while, you looked at the wraps on the counter in the gym, rolling your eyes as you muttered the words; "Wraps are for fuckin' prissy bitches.." you huffed, swinging at the bag before you. You doubted your form, this is what led you to fail the mission. Fucking doubts. Not that you would admit that for shit but it is the truth.

As you rapidly swung at the bag each punch left a more painful feeling to your reddened knuckles. You ignored ut thought, well until you got wore out. Then you ditched off to your quarter, the halls of the barracks being quiet as your boots came into contact with the cold linoleum flooring, leaving a soft clacking sound as you walked.

Once you came across your room you simply walked in, unbuckling your unnecessary gear and tossing it aside, once done you rolled the sleeve of your non-dominant arm up, grabbing the small pocket knife from the upper most pocket of your cargo pants, unfolding it from it self and pressing the blade against the soft skin of your arm. The adrenaline got the better of you, and with a harsh downward press against your skin and a quick drag of your arm there was a small gash. That small gash turned into two, then three, and on and on.

By the time you had finally quit you had a set of tears pricking at your eyes, filling to your water line and eventually pouring over and coming out of your tear ducts. You calmly walked to your bathroom, tossing the bloodied knife onto the counter before walking out, out of sight, out of mind, right? No. You continued to think about it as the blood trickled out of your wounds.

The only thing that got you out of your thoughts was the sound of a set of knocks on your door before the handle clicked and your door was opened. Your eyes widened at the sight of your Colonel. His voice being the only thing you heard. "I wanted to talk to you about- Oh." Your voice got caught in your throat. It was too late for you to explain yourself now.

König walked into the room, kneeling infront of you after shutting the door behind himself, taking your bloody arm into his grasp König glanced over the still bleeding appendage, a soft sigh of disappointment making the already tense room so much worse.

You swallowed the lump in your throat trying to make up an excuse. "Sir I assure you-" König cut you off with a glare, "Den Mund halten. Darüber reden wir später." He barked back, getting up and walking into the bathroom of your quarter, getting a washcloth and dampening it under cool water before walking back out and placing the cool wet object on your inflamed skin.

You hissed at the pain that followed but allowed him to do it, it soothed the heated skin that was currently bleeding. "Hold that while I get you some gauze and elastic bandages.." König muttered, a soft sigh following after, glancing up at you once, you nodded, and replaced his hand with your own. König walked off, grabbing some gauze pads and an elastic bandage, bringing both aswell as something to clean the fresh wounds to keep them from getting infected.

Once he returned he moved your hand, allowing himself access to your arm, placing a little of the Neosporin onto the gauze before placing the pads onto your skin, wrapping it with the bandage, once he was done he sat beside you with a questioning look. You simply shrugged. "Ah, don't give me that shit, Liebling." He glared at you once again. "I want you to tell me what happened because I know this wasn't something from your training."

You groaned with a quick glance to the floor, "I don't know, okay? I got stressed so I took it out on myself." A soft sigh breaking the silence after you spoke. "I mean, it was my fault we failed the mission, I mean I couldn't even get my stance right when boxing the fucking bag, König." You let out a short laugh, shaking your head as you glanced at the wall.

"I really don't even understand why you fucking care, König. It's none of your business anyway." You seethed. You were stressed, pissed, and feeling so many emotions at once it was impossible to tell one from the other at this point.

König sighed, grabbing you and pulling you close to himself. "I care about you because I understand what its like to be mad at myself when something goes wrong." He paused, realizing that he probably shouldn't have grabbed you, but when you showed no intentions on fighting it he spoke up again. "I care about you because you're one of my teammates. I care about you because i love you, liebling. Okay?" König placed his head on yours, one hand moving to your back to stroke it in a soothing manner.

"You're a great person and an even better teammate, so I'm so sorry, if I was the one who caused this." He sighed, you sat silently listening to his words. "Just remember, I'm always here to listen, Liebe.." König hummed softly, it wasn't something you had understood before but you did now, listening to his words kinda tugged at your heart, they made you realize things.

König's words reallymeant alot to you, it really does make a difference to know that someone out there cares about you enough to be able to sit and listen, and as of now, König was gonna be that person for you.