Wanted For Pleasure: vol 3

|1| See you later

𝘾𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨
﹥━━━━━━━━━━﹤

"We need to talk," Morgan's sudden presence in the room is dark, heavy. Negativity is unlike her.

I remain seated stiffly on the edge of our bed, staring at this damn lazy paint job on our wall that I've never noticed before.

I gulp hard, letting her come sit beside me.

It feels like forever until Morgan speaks again, but when she does, it's like a dagger to the heart.

"I'm not happy." She says plainly.

Maybe this conversation would suck less if we weren't both dressed in Christmas-themed footie pajamas, I think in my head.

My reply is only a quiet, "Hmph." This confuses Morgan. What did she expect, me to disagree? She's been put through hell since the beginning of the relationship. We were doomed, actually, before we even became a couple.

"Did you hear me, Chris, I said I'm not happy?"

"I heard you," I reply in a suddenly loud voice. "damn. And saying it again doesn't make it hurt any less."

I'm not mad at my fiancé or trying to argue here, I'm just extremely disappointed in myself for letting it get to this point. I love her so much, I should've prioritized her feelings more.

"Why does this feel like a breakup?" I lament, putting my hands in my lap to avoid accidentally touching hers.

"It's not. I just need to do this for me."

"Where are you gonna go, Colorado?"

Morgan corrects her posture after a deep breath. "Your mom told me about a retreat, she said-"

"She went there when she got super depressed after my dad relapsed the second time, I know. You think this is necessary?" My eyes remain fixed on the wall, looking straight ahead instead of at her face.

She nods I see through the corner of my eye. "I don't know what else to do." Her voice cracks. A piece of my heart breaks with it.

"It's not healthy to not talk about what happened, Chris. You have your way of processing things, and I have mine. I'm. So. Tired." She starts to cry in her hands.

"This has grown to be a never-ending thing and I have to do some reevaluating before continuing. When I said I'll marry you, I meant it, I do want us to get married, but I was us to heal first - get back to ourselves. Nothing about us has been normal since we met, and as exciting as that is, Chris... I need a break. So do you. I'm not doing this to hurt you, but-"

"How long will you be gone?" I cut her off to ask.

Morgan sniffles. "T-the program is three months." She stutters because she doesn't want to admit the lengthy time she'll be away.

Three months she'll be gone and I could hardly make it a max of two weeks without her before.

Seeing me completely spaced out, Morgan stands. "I'm going to pack, I leave in two days. Chris, I— I need you to understand that this isn't easy for me."

"I don't know, Morgan, at this point it seems like you leaving me is a cake walk." I cough, finally looking at her.

She rolls her eyes before disappearing into her walk-in closet.

Morgan returns with a suitcase and slams it onto the mattress.

"I don't need your sarcasm."