☆.｡.:*Tokyo Revengers Oneshots.｡.:*☆

TW ✾ Baji // Guilty ✾

Another entirely self indulgent story lol

I had another relapse with my eating disorder and I've just been feeling like shit about myself the past few weeks so writing another comfort fic

Warnings: anorexia, body dysmorphia, counting calories, body checks, weighing oneself, restrictive eating

---

150 calories.

Read the nutrition on the back of the bag of chips you were going to buy.

You had already ate more than you intended today. 638 calories total.

The guilty feeling continued to rise as you stared at the back of the bag. Debating.

I could go for a walk afterwards. But that won't do much anyway. If I eat this even with the exercise after, I'll be even more bloated and add another pound.

In the end, you just put it back onto the rack. You bought the things your parents asked you to buy and left.

Baji's attention was caught hearing the sound of the bell over the door ring. He looked up from his phone and watched you walk towards him.

"Got everything you need?"

You nodded without a word and hopped onto the back of his bike.

"Hey what's wrong?"

Here we go again. He always knows when you're not having a good time somehow.

"Huh? It's nothing, I'm fine"

"You sure don't sound fine"

You sighed and rolled your eyes at him, lightly smacking his back. Always so perceptive about the smallest things with you.

"I just drive me home, I have school work."

Baji waved a hand at you and turned the key in his bike.

"Yeah yeah whatever"

With that, he drove off to your place. There was a guilty feeling dwelling inside you for not being honest with Baji, but you didn't want to worry him with this, nor did you want him to know anyway because he would make you eat something, which would make you feel even more guilty.

It was just an endless cycle of guilt that you couldn't escape.

If you ate, guilty.

Someone concerned that you aren't eating, guilty.

Being forced to eat, guilty.

Even thinking of eating, guilty.

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

-

After Baji dropped you off, you started on your school work to distract yourself from the hunger that was creeping in your stomach, settling for some tea to hopefully get rid of it.

Just the thought of eating made you want to throw up. If idols could do it, and get amazing results from it, you could too. They do much more exercising too so you shouldn't have been eating more than them anyway. Your arm slinked around your stomach, pinching at the fat.

I'm not bloated right?

Dropping your pencil and standing up to go to your bathroom, you turned to the side and lifted up your shirt. Your stomach was wider than it was this morning.

You immediately wanted to punish yourself for getting greedy. Now there was no way you could eat dinner. With how much you'd gained just by eating a few snacks, any more would just make it worse.