Nesert

1.14

Episode 4.14 "The Serpent's Venom" (bold)

Despite her guilt, Tessa continued to rely on Rak'nor to keep her informed of Heru'ur's orders to him. He was reluctant at first, but she was kind to him and she guessed that Heru'ur had never treated him in a similar manner. This day, he was clearly different when he came into her rooms.

"My Lord Heru'ur is sending me on a special mission."

"Oh? What plans does he have for you?" She directed him to sit, but he shook his head, so she stood instead.

"I am to acquire...a gift."

Tessa's frustration was apparent. "A gift. What kind of gift? For whom?"

"Lord Heru'ur also requests your presence aboard his mothership."

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. What was Heru'ur planning? "Oh does he? For what purpose?"

"I am sorry, my Lord Sekhmet. I cannot reveal any of that information to you, but Heru'ur has sent ships and jaffa to bring you to him."

"We have an arrangement, Rak'nor. Do not think I will let this breach go unpunished."

He seemed to be genuinely pained by her harshness and she momentarily gave up the facade, sitting down at her desk and letting her hands hold up her head. Why must she go from prison to prison? And even if she escaped this next warden, could she ever be free when bound to memories of a life that wasn't hers?

"My lord?"

He had moved closer by the sound of his voice, but she hadn't realized that allowing the mask to slip off would crack it. She stared at the dark wood of the desk trying to remember who she was or who she was supposed to be or who she used to be or who she would be or who she should be or who she wanted to be. It was a jumbled mess of different versions of the minds that had used this body and she couldn't manage to put the pieces together in any coherent fashion.

Rak'nor had reached his hands out to grasp her wrists gently and Tessa realized as she began looking up at him that her face was wet. Why this moment of all moments was the tipping point, she didn't know, but she had collapsed under the weight of burdens she'd piled on top of herself.

Now they buried her.

The jaffa warrior looked terrified as he took her in and she suspected that even if she had been a perfectly normal young woman, he would have been intensely uncomfortable with her tears, but the established relationship between them of master and servant, god and worshipper, made it much worse.

"Heru'ur plans an alliance with Apophis," he said slowly.

Tessa's shoulders slumped even further. "Then I am dead."

"Perhaps Apophis will be merciful."

That ignited the fire again and Tessa stood, her eyes flashing at the young jaffa as he stumbled backwards.

"You are foolish if you believe Apophis is even capable of mercy. He is a parasite, all the goa'uld are. They've stolen your lives, your bodies, your children, your minds, your souls. They are not gods! They are flesh and blood with technology they have stolen from other races." Her rant had begun in her goa'uld voice, but somewhere along the way she'd shifted into the human voice her body had been born with.

"You are a goa'uld, my lord. How can you say such blasphemy?" He looked ready to run, to scream to the ship of her betrayal or madness or both.

"I am not Sekhmet." She let the words slide out with hatred, but still parts of her doubted their veracity.