Nesert

3.11

Episode 9.16 "Off the Grid"

Halfway through their trip, they were able to contact Earth and Nes was relieved to hear that Teal'c had been found. One of Ba'al's clones had been killed in the rescue attempt, but Teal'c himself had kept his mind during the brainwashing they'd inflicted upon him. Nes had to wonder which clone was dead now. It was likely Zeta or Eta who had done more work offworld, but really it could have been any of them. It would certainly be nice if it were Kappa, but she doubted he would have been so foolish as to put himself in harm's way like that.

Nes spent most of her time alone, but she had a few meals with Colonel Caldwell, who was still trying to sort through what had happened to him. She offered what help she could, but added random platitudes more than any real advice. That usually led to some laughter, though, and that could be the most helpful to anyone trying to overcome a trauma like they'd both experienced.

As they got closer to Earth, the Daedalus was asked to take a detour to check on a planet called Tegalus, which the SGC had been unable to contact after a mission had gone badly. The Earth ship, Prometheus, had been destroyed and when they arrived, the debris from the vessel still drifted above the planet. As for the two civilizations that had inhabited Tegalus, they were completely devastated. The two warring countries had destroyed one another.

Nes and Colonel Caldwell stood looking out the window, trying to grasp the sheer magnitude of life lost.

"And yet there is too big a part of me that feels they got what they deserved for killing Colonel Pendergast," Caldwell said coldly.

"Were the two of you friends?"

"We were...before I was taken as a host. There was quite a bit of hostility after that. I never got to apologize."

"But he would have heard the news about you. He would have understood."

The colonel shrugged. "Maybe, but I still wish I'd been able to talk to him again." He rubbed his eyes. "His wife and kids...they'll never know the full truth of why he died, the amazing things he did, how he protected Earth."

"That's a risk you all accepted when you joined the Air Force and then the Stargate program - that you might die without anyone really knowing the details."

"I suppose you've taken on the same risk...not exactly by choice, though."

"No. My brother knows some of the truth. So at least someone knows. But I already died to everyone else. I've been dead such a long time already."

"Why don't you tell them? Not that I suggest that, but you're not exactly known for abiding by the rules."

Nes chuckled. "No. I've found quite a bit of flexibility within the suggested rules...but I'm not Tessa anymore and they'd want me to be Tessa for them. Even with my brother...he thinks Sekhmet did all the killing. He doesn't know I'm a murderer, a monster, and I can't bring myself to shatter his view of me." She sighed. "Unfortunately, that means I choose avoidance more than anything else, which is hardly better."

"You don't think he can handle the truth?"

"I can barely handle it. I choose avoidance with myself as well."

"You're not exactly running around killing people anymore, though, right? When was the last time?"

Nes swallowed hard as she thought. "A few months back." She didn't want to feel any guilt for killing Delta. "Though he technically didn't exist and is legally still alive, so...he doesn't count, right?" She gave the colonel a wink and he responded with an uncomfortable smile.

It was only a couple more days until they were in Earth's orbit, though Nes stayed aboard the Daedalus until she could be beamed down to a small office in Area 51, where they'd temporarily disabled the jamming devices. General Landry was already there waiting.