LUCIA

Chapter 83 Realization

When Lucia was very young, she used to constantly ask her mother why she didn't have a father. And when she saw her mother crying, she would say sorry, hug her mother and cry along with her. When she apologized and said she was wrong, her mother said:

[I am crying because I want to see my father too. My child, I'm not crying because you made me sad.]

It was likely that her mother felt guilty for leaving her house in her immature days and giving birth to an illegitimate child so she couldn't bear to contact her family. And because she knew the difficult circumstances of her home, she decided it would be better to send Lucia to the royal family.

Most of all, the real reason why her mother didn't contact her family till the end was because she didn't want her family to know of the tragedy of their youngest daughter who gave birth to a child, raised her child alone and then died; that was how Lucia understood her mother.

"You don't want to meet him?" (Hugo)

"I was going to, but now I don't know. How did he find out about me?" (Lucia)

"If he is your grandfather, then he knows your mother. You must look a lot like your mother."

"No. My mother was much more beautiful than I am."

"No way. You're prettier."

Lucia lifted her head that was buried in his chest.

"How do you know? You've never seen my mother."

"I know without seeing."

Lucia smiled faintly at his unreasonableness then she buried her face back in his bosom.

"Take your time and think it over. I'll look into a way to get in touch with him. Whenever you make up your mind, tell me. If you don't want to meet him, I'll take steps to make sure he doesn't approach you again and if you want to meet with him, I will arrange a meeting." (Hugo)

"...Okay."

Lucia lifted her head to look at him. As she stared at him silently, he brought his eyes to meet hers.

A caring husband. She was so glad to have him by her side. The fact that were someone to lean on when she was having a hard time made her feel overwhelmed and her eyes felt sore. His red eyes were warm and her heart felt tingly. She was happy.

'I love you, Hugh. I love you.'

She wondered if his eyes would cool the moment those words left her mouth. She was too scared that one word would ruin everything. In the past, she was only afraid but as time passed, her fear worsened. (1)

'I can't live without him.'

She would dry up. Like a potted plant abandoned in a dark warehouse with dried up leaves and stems.

She wanted to confess to him several times a day. She wanted to know how he felt.

-He might love me too.

-That is not true.

Two conflicting opinions battled in her head.

But she could not gamble. She could not follow Norman's advice and scream it out loud. Because she knew that if that gamble failed, she would hit her chest in regret.

Lucia was startled when he suddenly frowned. She wondered if he had read her thoughts and her heart pounded fiercely.

"Vivian. Did I do something wrong again?"

When he wiped her eyes, Lucia realized that she was crying.

"...I thought of my mother. I think I'm feeling a little emotional."