"Hello guys! It's been a while since you have seen my face on this platform. I know that some of you were highly supportive of my decision to step away from making videos, but there were some of you who were rather upset of my decision. Now I am here to talk about what happened and to address those silly comments. I am going to be having some people join me though. You may remember me divorcing them almost a year ago, but we are back and better than ever, and they also wish to put in their perspectives of what happened."
I gestured for them to come into frame they took a spot all around me.
"This journey of ours took a really long time to get through, but of course for obvious reasons, I didn't want to make a return to YouTube until I was 100%. This turmoil that I went through personally made me want to just unalive myself. I really went that far and it really took a lot before I really took notice of how this is effecting my loved ones. Especially my babies. After hearing their worries and how much they needed me, I knew that I had to get better, so I went to therapy. Which is something that I never really do. I used to hate the feeling of speaking about my life to some random stranger. I had to do it though. I wanted to do it, and I am very glad that I did. I am still seeking therapy and I highly recommend it for everyone."
"We have been through a lot and when we saw the marks on Harry's arm, we just knew that we needed to do something more. He was already holding us at a distance, but we didn't want to loose him. It only took one day of reflecting for us to realize that we just couldn't continue with our every day life within our careers."
"It wasn't just Harry who was going through the pain of course. We were hurting and we weren't in our right minds to just act like everything is okay. We definitely knew that we weren't ready to be out there just yet. We were not up for the tour." "We were strongly against it actually. We just had no other choice but to," I pointed out. "It was definitely toxic between us and our management. He was highly against the idea of us taking a break."
"We were primarily focused on ourselves, but of course there were a few times where we would talk about our relationship." "The tension was definitely there, but we wanted to get better for ourselves before we did anything else. We were stuck in some troublesome void, so we just wanted to recover on our own terms." "We traveled to a place that solely focused on one's mental state and wellbeing. While we were stationed there, we did things that we just never did before. We practiced meditation, and we went on hikes, we did group activities with other people who went through something either similar or the same as us."
"We went to interventions and we met up at places that were surrounded by nature. We were cut off from the outside world. We were off-grid basically. It was best for us to not know what is going on in the public view. The only and main thing that we did on our phones was call home to speak to our girls who were with Harry's eldest triplet, Edward."
"I went through the first two months just fine. Being around them was of course good for me and all, but I knew that I had a lot more work to do. I needed to be alone for a little while and I needed to really put myself first for once. I needed to think about me and no one else. Because this journey of recovery wasn't just for my girls. It wasn't for them. It wasn't for my family, and it was definitely just for you guys. It was for me. I needed to get better for me. I needed to be who I was a long time ago. The Harry who was around before I met my ass of an alpha, Ed. Because after I tossed him away, my life just changed in a negative way."
"Now of course my whole life wasn't bad," I said and caressed Louis's cheek. I heard him chuckle and I smiled at the sound of it. "He just made me think that I didn't deserve anything good. He broke me so much that I seriously thought that I always needed to apologize. I kept thinking that everything was my fault and I always thought so low of myself. I kept worrying over what others thought of me and I would think that showing happiness would only be a sign of weakness. I was never proud of where I came from and who I was."
