✧ ARTIST ♡ Ethan Torchio ✧ WARNINGS ♡ Mentions of body dysphoria and unaccepting family. ✧ SYNOPSIS ♡ Y/N is having a rough day with his body and Ethan reminds his lover just how much he is supported.
TEARS FILLED THE bathroom's silence as Y/N L/N stared at himself in the mirror. This is something that had gone on for the past couple of minutes; he was feeling insecure, more than that honestly. He was unable to pinpoint what triggered these feelings this time but all he knew was that it sucked. He hated getting this way so often but it really wasn't something that he could control.
Being a transgender male was difficult for a plethora of reasons and the dysphoria did not help matters. He had only recently been starting the process of transitioning. He had started Testosterone, which was exciting to him, but he hated that he had to do it in the first place.
Why was he born in such a feminine body? It was a question that he asked himself too often. There wasn't many parts of his body that he actually didn't mind and he didn't like saying 'my body' because he didn't feel like that's what it was. Why would he?
The days when he just stood in front of a mirror and cried were not good for his mental health but sometimes he didn't see how things could get worse. He really did try but the bad days just brought him down so much.
However, he felt lucky that he had such a lovely support system in his boyfriend and their friends. Ethan Torchio had been such an angel to Y/N, even before he came out to anyone. The Italian was so respectful and genuine. He was always ready to share his clothes with his boyfriend which Y/N greatly appreciated.
He was the one who kept Y/N going during these difficult times. The male didn't know what he would do without Ethan and he didn't want to think about it since it gave him anxiety.
Speaking of, the brunette had just gotten back home from recording at the studio with the band, which his boyfriend hadn't realized. The sound of the H/C haired boy's cries could be heard from their bedroom and it broke Ethan's heart. He wished that he could take every ounce of pain away but he sadly couldn't. However, that didn't mean that he never tried.
The Torchio soon made his way into the bathroom and frowned at the sight of his lover. He didn't completely understand what Y/N felt but he would always try to and he would always listen.
"Amore mio, what's wrong?" The words were soft and gentle, not wanting to startle the other male, even though he was in plain sight.
The L/N sniffled. "Everything about me is just wrong! My face is too feminine, my hips are too wide, I'm not tall enough. I will never be able to pass as a guy. It freaking hurts."
Ethan walked closer to his boyfriend, his body towering over Y/N's slightly. "Can I touch you?"
He didn't want to make his lover anymore uncomfortable but he wanted to calm him down, show him love, make sure that he was not alone no matter how much it felt like it sometimes. Once he saw the male nod his head, he gently wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, Y/N's back to his chest.
"I know I don't understand what you are going through but it hurts me to see you like this. I hate how you constantly put yourself down. Things will get better and I hope that your dysphoria becomes less severe as time goes on and as the Testosterone starts doing its thing."
"I'm here for you every step of the way. I know you have anxiety when it comes to surgery and being put under anesthesia but if you decide you need top surgery or anything else, I'll support you. You're not in this alone." Ethan kissed the top of his lover's head.
He continued what was now becoming a speech, unable to stop himself. "I want you to also remember that it's okay to take your time. You don't have to come out to anyone else if you're not ready and you don't have to make decisions about surgeries and stuff if you don't feel comfortable."
His comment about coming out was referring to Y/N's family who weren't all that supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community. It was something that also brought Y/N down but he tried not to care so much, although it was hard since it was his family; his parents, his grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins.
Ethan then placed his head onto his lover's right shoulder. "When I look into the mirror at you, I see nothing but handsome boyfriend who I love with my whole being. You are the most important thing to me and I will never let you forget it."
Y/N turned around in Ethan's arms to look at him. He reached a hand up to wipe his tears, feeling a little better because of his boyfriend's kindness. "Thank you," he was quick enough to say before his brain started thinking of just how grateful he was for his relationship.
"Of course, like I said, I'm always here for you." His reassurance made Y/N feel better. He always loved knowing that he had someone who genuinely cared and wanted the best for him.
Ethan didn't take long to add, "Now, do you want to go watch 'Grease' and cuddle? I think that will take your mind off of things and stop you from spiraling."
"I'd love that," Y/N L/N spoke softly.
KOTA'S NOTES! ───── did i do some self projecting with this one? yes, i did. some of these things were things that i really needed to hear, so i am happy that i could so one like this, especially for ethan. i need more requests that aren't for females, haha.
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