Game On || C.L.16

2.5

Amelie's POV
"Please enlighten me with how you are doing." Esmeralda, my psychologist says over Zoom.

After yesterday's meltdown, I decided I was long overdue a therapy session. I called her late last night and was very happy to hear she still had a free spot for this morning.

"I don't know." I admit. "There's been a lot of things coming at me, a lot of emotions to deal with as well."

"So let's start big." She suggests. "What is going on right now?"

"I'm doing a training camp with my brother and two other Formula One drivers."

"Is one of those two your ex?" She asks, she knows I dated a driver, but was never really interested in it. Hence, why she doesn't know that Arthur is not in Formula One.

"Uh. No, but his brother is. Charles." I say, a small smile forming on my lips as I mention his name.

"How's that for you? You two don't really get along do you?"

"We talked a bit earlier this trip. Spoke through all that was bothering us. We're alright now, maybe more than that." I whisper the last part, making sure neither of the guys in the living room can hear me through the door.

"So it's not only people from the outside meddling in your life, it's your own mind at the same time. You don't know what you want, do you?"

"Kind of, I know things feel good. But I'm scared at the same time, scared of what others think, what my mind will think. But mostly I really don't want to hurt Arthur more than I've already done. And if I continue what I am doing right now, I most definitely will hurt him." I can feel a small tear of frustration running over my cheek.

All emotions I have kept bottled inside of me, clearly coming to the surface right now. "It's good to talk about this every once in a while." Esmeralda points out as I wipe a singular tear away. "Showing your emotions is okay too."

"I know, it's just difficult. Especially with these crazy Formula One fangirls trashing me online." I sigh deeply. "There's barely anything positive they're saying about me, you know?"

"I understand it's extremely difficult for you Amelie. However, I recommend that you talk about this, not only with Pierre but maybe with Charles or Esteban too. They can help you realise that it's people that don't know you, who are saying these awful things." Esmeralda describes as I try to decipher every bit of her sentence in my head. "If you feel hurt by the things they are writing, please put your phone away again. I think the arrangement you and Charles had was wonderful. Things like that might help you set your mind straight. Try and find the points that ground you, take you back to you and those that know you."

The words take their time to sink in, but I know she's right. It's people that don't know me, that are saying these things. "Thank you, Esmeralda." I smile, before we close of the session.

I take a couple of deep breaths, trying to collect my emotions, before going to the living room. The empty livingroom, although I'm not surprised that it is empty. The boys texted me earlier they were going for a long hike together, just before my therapy session started.

However once I realise I am actually all alone, I decide to take this as a signal to really think about me. I return to my bedroom, to get into a bathing suit. I grab my water bottle and a book, along with wrapping myself in a robe and a towel.

I head outside, turning on the hot tub and getting into the warm water. I think it's my third book of this trip I'm starting now, and I absolutely love that I got the time to do so.