London Boy | Jamie Flatters

Forty-two

Present

    Jamie's blue eyes are looking at me, waiting for me to say something. I can't survive without you. I don't want to survive without you... His words play on repeat in my mind. I'd wanted to hear these words for a while now. I thought he hated me, that I was nothing to him after what I did to him.

    The thought of Jamie never wanting me in his life again broke my heart.

     "I really can't get hurt again, Jamie," I say seriously, letting go of Jamie's hand as I avert my gaze. I was a mess after he cut me out. It was hard enough that we'd broken up, but him not talking to me at all hurt most of all.

    Jamie's hand stays in place on my knee, and my gaze focuses on his clad fingers, unable to look up at him just yet, "I don't want to hurt you, Eden."

    I take in his words, my head rushing. I want to forgive him so badly, to move past this and fix things. I want Jamie Flatters in my life, even if it's just as my best friend. I don't want to survive without him, either.

    "Okay," I nod, finally looking back up at him. A small smile tugs on the corner of my lips as I look at him, making him smile too. God, I missed his smile. "I've always wanted you in my life, Jamie," I say, meaning it. "I know it doesn't seem it, but breaking up with you was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I never wanted a life without you in it."

    "I know," Jamie nods, "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that."

     "Friends?" I question, holding my hand out for him to shake.

     Jamie laughs at my awkward gesture, shaking his head with amusement as he connects our hands, shaking mine firmly, "Friends."

    "Okay, then, friend," I lean my back against the chair, pulling my knee's up to my chest as I ask, "fill in on the last year and a half. I feel like I've missed a lot."

    And that's what we do for the next hour, the two of us updating one another on absolutely everything that the other missed. Jamie had wrapped his first feature film that he wrote entirely while also playing the lead and producing. He got a new place in the city, one right by the tower of London, just like he'd wanted. I'd won a Grammy and finished touring with the boys of 5sos before proceeding to go on my own tour, which was both exhausting and the most rewarding thing I'd ever done.

    "And now I'm on a break," I say, shrugging my shoulders. He's still sitting on the edge of my pool chair, his body turned to face me. The sun is beginning to hang lower in the sky, and my eyes can't help but linger on his shoulders, glowing in the sunlight. I'm proud to say he's been sitting shirtless in front of me this entire time, and I've only stared at his abs once. "The last album was such a rush. I'm taking my time with this one."

    His shirt feels sticky on my shoulders as the sun beams on us, my long hair heavy against my back. I wish they would've at least locked me up here with a scrunchie or something, "when do I get to hear it?" Before I can answer, he adds, "How many are about me?"

     I roll my eyes, "you're the worst, you know that?"

     Jamie smiles, and my heart leaps out of my chest, "and you missed me."

     I did. I really did.

     "I'm hot," I declare, not bothering to answer his question as I peel his t-shirt off my shoulders, which was beginning to stick to my shoulders with sweat. The still water of the pool looks so inviting, practically begging for me to jump in.

     Jamie's eyes linger on me as he nods, "yeah," he breathes, and oh my god. He's smirking.

    "Friends, Flatters," I throw his t-shirt at him as I stand, moving over to the water, very aware of his eyes on me as I walk away. "You gonna stare the whole time or join me?" I ask him, looking over my shoulder with a smirk.