London Boy | Jamie Flatters

Ten

The wind blows through my hair as I take one last walk around the city, arms crossed, attempting to warm my hands and ultimately failing. I've never really felt like I've belonged anywhere. Back home in California, it's always felt too busy, the kind of place where people never slow down. It's hot and seasonless; I've always longed to live in a place with seasons, even in the rain London is beautiful.

We were leaving for the airport soon, but I couldn't help but take one last walk around the city before our car came to pick us up, once again waking up long before the others. You'd think I'd want to sleep in after the premiere last night, but my body naturally woke up early, itching to get outside and experience the city for one last time. By the time I get back to the lobby, the others are all waiting, sitting around on the lush couches, paper cups of coffee in hand. "There you are," Jack exclaims, standing to greet me. "Where'd you go off to so early?"

I let him pull me into his side, him not caring much that the ends of my hair are wet from the rain, now pressing up against his grey sweatshirt, "just wanted to walk around one more time," I shrug. "I wish we didn't have to go back to LA so soon."

"Really?" Lilly asks, from her spot on the couch, directly beside Jamie. We talked a bit after the premiere, though something shifted. I can feel it. There was something he wasn't telling me. I could see it in the way he shifted his gaze whenever we spoke after the movie was finished, at the after-party. He still acted the same, but he was holding back. "I miss it. It's so rainy here," she cringes slightly, and I can't help but watch how Jamie frowns slightly, eyes shifting away from mine, as if he can tell I'm trying to figure out his thinking. "It's kind of depressing."

It's rained two out of the four days we've been here, though I didn't really care. I've always liked the rain. It rains so rarely in California, everything there feels so dry all the time, like you can barely breathe whenever you step outside, heat hitting you in a way that feels almost suffocating. Before anyone can say anything else, our car pulls up, all of us piling into the massive van, Trinity and Jack taking the farthest row to the back while Lilly takes the row in the middle, the seat beside her open; I assume for Jamie. Before he can take it, or she can ask him to, though, Bailey slides into it, leaving the first row behind the driver empty for Jamie and me.

She smiles innocently at me, and I immediately know what she's trying to do. Ever since I told her about Lilly liking Jamie, she's purposely been staying closer to the girl as if she can keep her away from him. Lilly smiles as Bailey looks over at her,  but I can see the disappointment in her eyes. She wanted Jamie to sit there.

I keep waiting for him to say something to me as I slide into the seat beside him, for his blue eyes to connect with mine and capture my attention entirely as he quietly says something to me, his accent captivating, something I could listen to on repeat for hours and never get bored of. He doesn't, though, his gaze anywhere but me as he reaches to put his seatbelt on. I do the same, our fingers brushing as we click them into place, the buckles right beside one another.

For the first time all morning, his eyes look up, fingers not straying as he looks at me. I wish I could tell what he's thinking, unable to read his mind, no matter how hard I try. Something's bothering him, and I wish he'd just tell me what. "You sad to be leaving?" I question, voice quiet, almost breathless.

I keep waiting for him to move his hand away and turn away, but his eyes stay locked on mine, the cool metal of his rings brushing against my fingers. If I were bolder, I'd interlock my hand with his, but I'm not, and Lilly is sitting right behind us, most likely watching our every move. "I'll be back," he shakes his head, letting me know that's not the reason he's been closed off. What is it then?

Before I can ask him anything else, something is chucked at my head, "you left these in my room," Jack calls out, as my wired headphones hit my cheek, falling to my lap. I'd gone to his room after the premiere last night to help him pack. He'd ended up going shopping at some point during our time here and buying so many souvenirs for his friends and family they nearly didn't fit in his bag... Luckily, I am a pro at packing, and we fit it all with no problem.