London Boy | Jamie Flatters

Thirty-two

Present

Not a lot of things make me nervous nowadays. I could walk a red carpet, with cameras flashing and voices yelling, and almost feel at peace, used to the chaos. On tour, I performed in front of sold-out crowds every single night, the lights blinding me as I sang. I've been on talk shows, hosted award shows and even won some, having to give a speech with the entire world watching.

None of that made me nervous anymore. It was like second nature at this point.

So, why do I feel like this right now? So nervous I could be sick, my stomach twisting in anxious knots. "You okay?" Bailey asks, concerned.

I hadn't even realized I'd fallen silent until she'd spoken up, tone laced with worry. She'd got ready with Trinity and me, all of our makeup artists chatting with us as they got us ready, our hair people singing along to the music, making us giggle each time they hit the wrong note. It was just us three now, sitting on a king-sized bed in matching robes, eating room service.

We were having fun, but the more time moved forward, the worse I began to feel, anxiety creeping through me, shutting my body down. We were hours away from the big red carpet and mere hours away till I was forced to come face to face with Jamie, who I hadn't seen since that night.

The night everything fell apart.

"Yeah," I nod, forcing a smile on my face, "Sorry, I just got a little lost in thought."

"About Jamie?" My sister asks, almost cautiously, like I might burst into tears at the sound of his name. I used to be like that... I'd gotten better.

Or at least I thought I had.

I take a bite of a French fry, avoiding answering the question for a moment, "about everything, I guess," I shrug once I've finished chewing, "this is his night too, ya know? I don't want me being there to ruin it for him."

"Jamie will be fine, E." Bailey reassures me, reaching over to squeeze my hand, "he's moved on."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's bringing his girlfriend tonight."

Bailey's eyes widen as she looks at my sister. She was probably planning on withholding this information from me, knowing it'd only make me want to go less. "He has a girlfriend," I nod, repeating my sister.

It's been two years, and yet my stomach twists with sadness. I can't imagine Jamie dating someone else, holding them the way he used to hold me and whispering sweet nothing into her ear as they drift off to sleep. I don't know why I'm even feeling this way. It's not like I haven't had boyfriends since him.

I've gone on plenty of dates and kissed plenty of other guys, all fellow musicians who I know were only with me for publicity. They were fun, for a night or two, a nice distraction from how lonely it felt to go back to my empty apartment.

But nothing ever felt serious, and that was fine. My manager always says my career should be the love of my life, and it is.

"You didn't know," Trinity nods, realization washing over her features, "it's new. We're all meeting her for the first time tonight."

Bailey quickly adds, "We invited you before we knew she was coming, I swear."

"It's fine," I shake my head, forcing a smile onto my face. And it is. It's been nearly two years since Jamie and I ended things. Of course, he has a girlfriend. "Yeah, it's fine," I say again, almost as if saying it will actually make me feel like it is.

"It doesn't sound fine," Trinity observes, her brows furrowed with concern.

"Of course, it's not fine," I groan, my head falling back. I was already unprepared to see Jamie, but to now have to meet his girlfriend too... "I'm going to look pathetic showing up alone," I say, running my fingers through my hair.

I'm not the type of girl to think she needs to have a guy on her arm to have worth. In reality, there's nothing I find more empowering than walking a carpet alone, powerful and independent; but it's been two years, and I haven't had anything more than a couple dates here and there.

Jamie's moved on, and I haven't.

"You're Eden Bliss," Bailey reminds me as if I've forgotten, "I bet you can pick up your phone right now and get a date within minutes."

She's right... I can think of tons of guys in the LA area who I'd gone out with in the past and ghosted after a few nights. It's not that they weren't nice... they just weren't him. When they kissed me, it felt good, but it didn't make me feel euphoric the way Jamie's kisses used to. When they touched me, I'd have to close my eyes, imagining it was someone else's hands running along my body.

Sometimes it worked, but most of the time, it didn't.

I didn't want to call any of those guys, though, they'd get the wrong idea, and then I'd have to break their heart... It's the main reason I ghosted people after our nights together rather than talk to them. I'll never forget the look on Jamie's face that night when I said those words. I never wanted anyone to look at me like that ever again.

If I'm going to call someone in, it's not going to be a guy I've hooked up with in the past or anyone I've dated; I need someone who knows the situation, a friend who will have my back no matter what... and I know just the person.

I pull my phone out of my robe pocket, finding his contact. Bailey smirks when she sees the contact name, nodding her head in approval, "Eden Bliss, to what do I owe the pleasure." He greets me goofily.

"Hey, Mason," I greet him, smiling at his dorky greeting. I met Mason Gooding through Jack at the premiere of Scream VI a while back, I'd recorded a song for the movie, and the cast was nothing but lovely to me, all happily swapping numbers. Slowly, they became some of my closest friends in Hollywood. Jenna was always at the same events and helped me so much with my transition into stardom.

Jasmin was a musician, too and was always down to listen to my ideas. Melissa and her husband would let me sleep over at their place the nights I stayed at the studio too late, knowing my place was further from the studio. And Mason... he became one of my best friends in an instant.

I remember that night when Jamie walked out of the room. I called Mason, sobbing into the speakerphone. He slowly became like a brother to me, the kind of person I could count on for absolutely anything. He and his girlfriend came to as many shows as possible, and I always made sure to attend every premiere possible.

Mason Gooding is the kind of person who will drop everything to be there for the people he loves. It's one of the many things I've always admired about him.

"I had a favour to ask, actually," I continue, "tonight's the premiere for Avatar 3, and I uh, don't really wanna show up alone."

Mason hums on the other line, "You haven't seen him since that night, huh?" I hum, answering his question. I hear Mason shuffle on the other line, moving around before he asks, "Babe, do you mind if I go to a premiere with Eden tonight? She's seeing you know who for the first time."

I can hear Amenah, Mason's girlfriend, replies nonchalantly. "Of course. Tell her I say she's got this."

I smile slightly, grateful for the new and old friends in my life. A lot has changed over these last few years, some good, some bad. And while there is something I wish didn't have to change, I knew it was for the best. I was lost for so long, trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted to be, and sometimes, you have to lose things on your way to finding yourself, meeting new people along the way.

"I'm in," Mason says, "send me your address, and I'll pick you up."

"You're the best, Mas." I say, sighing gratefully, "Thank you."

"Anything for you, E."

We're so close to Jamie and Edens reunion, and slowly will be getting more of an explanation as to what happened in the past.., what do you want see happen?