London Boy | Jamie Flatters

Twenty-two

Eden;

    I sadly smiled down at my phone as the pictures from Trinity came through. Selfies of her, Jack and Bailey in their car on the way to the premiere, exaggerated pouts on their faces as my sister declared in all caps how much they missed me. They'd had zoom press all day today, and the premiere tonight, finally rescheduled after the storm last night.

    According to my sister and friends, Lilly and Jamie still didn't know I'm gone. I'd told Bailey to tell them as soon as she could, but of course, of all the days for her to be split up from her usual interview trio, it was today. She'd been with Jack and Trinity for all their interviews today and never found a chance to find Lilly and Jamie and tell them I'd left to go home...

    I raised my phone, quickly snapping a picture of myself for Trinity. I'm in bed, keyboard laying on my lap, a notebook filled with lyrics resting nearby. Unlike her and the others, who are all dressed to impress for the premiere, I'm in a pair of old shorts from high school gym and a ratty old hoodie I'd found thrifting a while back.

    Jamie hasn't messaged me once since our conversation, but that doesn't surprise me... he's always been the worst at texting. Whenever I texted him a question, he'd answer it with a facetime or call, claiming it was so much easier to talk that way over texting. I never complained. It gave me an excuse to hear the accent I loved so dearly and see the way he smirked whenever teasing me.

    I don't wanna think of what he'll look like when the others tell him I've gone home. It's the main reason I chickened out on telling him myself; cause then he would've convinced me to stay, and I would've done something that would end up ruining my friendship with Lilly and, potentially, mine and Jamie's.

   Placing my phone back down, I begin humming a melody under my breath, chipped fingernails dancing across the keys as the music flows through my fingertips, guiding me. I sat mom and dad down when I got in and told them how I was feeling about everything. I told them that my entire life, I never thought I was good enough; that even after we left my birth dad, who constantly tore down my dreams, I felt like the things we said to me were true. I wasn't born to do something big; I was average.

    But music makes me happy. It's one of the only things that makes me feel at peace like I have control over something when my life feels completely out of control. I wanted to write and play music, even if no one else wanted to listen. And, of course, just like they had been with Trinity, mom and dad pulled me into a group hug and told me that I could do anything I set my mind to and that they supported me no matter what.

    I knew it wasn't going to be easy, and I didn't want it to be a wise person once told me that all good things take time, and I was willing to work my ass off to have this dream, no matter how long it might take. The music distracts me for a bit, melodies helping distract me from my thoughts, the memory of that night on the rooftop still fresh in my mind.

   I only stop playing when my phone rings, a few minutes later. Bailey's contact photo pops up on my screen. It's a photo we took forever ago when the avatar had wrapped, she'd just wrapped her last scene, and I ran over to hug her, not caring if she was soaking wet from the tank, just longing to congratulate the girl who'd slowly become my best friend.

    "Miss me already?" I ask, laughing, we'd facetimed while she was getting ready, and I helped prepare her on what to say to Jamie about my absence. Bailey doesn't laugh at my teasing, though. Her reaction is the exact opposite in face. She's panicked, her green eyes wide, a sigh of relief escaping past her lips as soon as I answer. "Bai, what is it?" I ask, sitting up a little straighter, worried.

    "It's Jamie."

Lilly;

    "Look at you," Bailey reaches over to squeeze my hand as I step out of my car. Her eyes are shimmering with a familiar kindness. I wish I was like that, but it seemed no matter what I did, I'd never shine half as bright as Bailey does, "You look stunning, Lilly."