Cherophobia

33

Darien's POV

"I didn't mean to run, I was just...overwhelmed." She tapped on her side of the bed telling me to come lay beside her and a tiny bit of hope surged through my heart.

"It would be a lie if I said I haven't thought about this." She continued pointing her fingers at the two of us, "but it doesn't make sense. How would you want anything to do with me? I..I know you've heard of the rumors, I mean with the guys on campus and you still want to do this?

What if I get too overwhelmed and a..anxious and then I run again, then what? We lose everything. I think you need someone better for this." She muttered looking at the ceiling.

The room became silent giving me time to process what to say. I was honestly glad she felt the same way.

"Can I hold your hand?" I asked bashfully waiting for a rejection but she took my hand in hers.

"Would it be bad if I asked you to join me in a session sometime with Davies."

"No I don't think I can do that, I'm good. I'm slowly coming to terms that what happens in life is not my fault but this.....this feeling makes it difficult to separate that.

Because I know if something happens it will definitely be my fault. I mean I won't cheat or anything. I'm just- I'm not even making sense. This is useless."

A grin slowly made its way on my face at her words. This means she wants a relationship with me because why would she say she won't be cheating.

"Hey don't fret, I get it." She hummed at my response and turned her body to face me.

"I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have done that. That was so stupid of me." I dismissed her apology offering her some chips instead.

"So you've thought about this?" I raised our interlaced fingers restating what she said, "Shut up." I stifled my laugh when I felt her palm sweating. She was nervous.

"We're never talking about this."

"No can do, we are doing that right now. Feel this?" I placed our connected fingers on my chest for her to feel my heartbeat.

"I'm also scared, anxious, nervous and somehow happy that you're here admitting this to me. I can't lie and say things will go smoothly. If we are going to do this, I don't want a fifty fifty from both sides but a hundred percent. I know we'll have our fights but if we are willing to make this work, I think we can pull this through." My heart beats faster after my rants hoping that this will make her change her mind.

I finally turned to look at her and smiled, "you said I should go look for someone else but as I told you the other day, you are it for me and I'm not going to stand there and let some guy take my place."

She gawked and slowly guffawed leaving me bemused. I was sitting there pouring my heart out and she just laughed.

"What's funny? I'm serious." She laughed even louder this time, rolling off the bed to the floor.

"You are funny when you are jealous." She hiccuped in between her words getting up from the floor.

"What no! I'm not jealous and who am I even jealous of." I scoffed and laughed with her this time as her laughter became too contagious for me to keep a straight face.

"Is this about Kingston?"

"Why will this be about Clinton?" I retorted and she burst into laughter again.

"Oh boy, I used to have this huge crush on him." She smirked and I knew fully well that she was doing this to taunt me so I just shrugged shoving some chips in my mouth.