Affluent [H.S]

Twenty Nine

24 July 2020
Emersyn Styles

Lights will always remind me of the nights we spent dancing in Vegas under them. The fond memories that city holds for us will live in my heart forever, whenever I think of you now I see your face illuminated and radiating pure elation.

I wish our lives could be as simple as turning on a light bulb just like it is to illuminate the night with the pretty bulbs.

We're normally together in the dark, hiding in the depths of the night from the world around us so we've never cared for the lights but the night I became your wife they've become a core memory.

I have zero regrets about marrying you, it was the first major step in my life that I felt like I had full control over. However, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells now that I'm back in London. The thought of someone noticing the change in rings on my finger or somehow finding the marriage certificate is terrifying me.

The fear when someone looks at me a little too long or catches me by surprise is indescribable, it's like everyone knows and it's beginning to consume. Being home for a few days is taking a toll on me especially because I haven't seen you. I kissed you goodbye in our hotel room expecting to see you a few hours later, you've been so busy, Romeo.

I wake up expecting to be wrapped up in your embrace, my mind tricks myself into thinking you're there sometimes but you're not.

"What're you doing?" Niall leans over into my shoulder in an attempt to look at my phone where I'm typing in my notes like it's my journal because my thoughts are taking over.

I shove him away while moving my phone out of his eyeline, glaring at the happy puppy expression that takes over his face. "Leave me alone."

He dragged me out to dinner tonight. He was going with Micheal and Harley but thought I should come so the four of us could hang out as we're all of similar ages. They're both very kind people, Harley is quiet but he's always wearing a smile while Micheal is more outspoken.

I wish Harry could come with me to these sorts of things but everyone around this table hates him and I'm supposed to.

"Socialise you little asshole." He shoves me back like a child, "you're so miserable, starting to remind me-"

He cuts himself off and I raise a brow at how tightly he's pressed his lips together. "I swear to god Niall if you were about to say my dad I will make you slide out of this booth just so I can kick your balls so hard you'll taste them."

Ignoring me, he looks at the menu on the table in front of him despite having been adamant on the dish he was having since this morning, he begins to scan down the page to avoid me. I look up at Harley opposite me who's hiding behind his menu with wide eyes while Micheal is lent back with his arms folded and a bored look on his face.