Being Saved

Chapter 30 - Doors Don't Have Feelings

Katerina's POV

As I spend the next few hours alone in my room, I am unable to lock out my damning thoughts as I replay this afternoon's events over and over in my mind.

I want to scream.

I want to cry.

I want to break down.

In the end, I eventually do those things.

I scream into my pillow.

I allow my tears to stain my cheeks.

Although, I try my best to avoid the breakdown that threatens to overcome me because I worry that if I break again that I won't be able to fix myself on my own.

What the fuck even happened today?

Why did this happen?

I sit up in bed, pulling the pillow away from my face, determined not to shed another tear.

I can't fathom what I could have done to make Michele that mad at me, although in the back of my mind, it makes me question if I should have been so trusting in them.

They lied.

They all fucking lied to me.

I laugh bitterly at the thought. Why am I even surprised?

Hell if I know.

They can all go to hell for all I care. All that crap about them never hurting me again was just another load of garbage delivered on a shiny platter.

I accepted their words like the fool I am.

I exhale deeply, pressing my palms against my forehead as I try to comprehend everything that has happened within the last hour.

Shit, I'm thinking too much, and I don't even know everything that might play a factor.

Doesn't make me any less pissed or disappointed.

I sigh, shaking my head at my raging thoughts.

I need to stop thinking at least for the next few hours before I do something rash, since my mind is overrun with different scenarios, each one worse than the last.

I drag my hands down my face, slowly glancing around my room before my gaze lands on a drawer in my opened closet.

Standing up, I quickly move into the adjoining room, almost tripping in the process as my leg tangles in the sheets. Yanking the sheets away, I barely manage to catch myself from tripping again before my face smacks into the wall.

Maybe it would've knocked some sense into me.

Or at the very least, a bit of memory loss so that I can just forget tonight.

Although, I'd be a fool to forget or ignore what happened earlier.

Stepping into the walk-in closet, I slam the door behind me before dropping to my knees in front of the drawer and wrenching it open. Shoving the clothes aside, I swiftly open my white box. I quickly push most of the contents aside to reveal a small portion of my knife collection. Dimitri is looking after the majority of my weapons. I miss them. And my best friend, of course, but I miss the former more. I pull out a set of daggers before closing the lid once again. I tightly grasp the sheath in my hand.