'I'll be your bad girl, I'll prove it to you
I can't promise that I'll be good to you
Cause I had some issues, I won't commit
No, not having it'
•
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Onika Maraj
All these bitches you fuck with swear they gone be different and think they the one, hoe you in for a very rude awakening
Her bitter voice had been constantly running through my mind since last night, I hate to admit it but she was right, what made me different from every woman before me?
What was so different about me from the others that made her handle me with so much patience and care?
Or was she like this with them in the beginning too?
I couldn't love cardi because she was bound to hurt me. That was made clear through multiple situations, she was way too friendly with other women.
Being friendly was always the start of affairs, just friends quickly turned into just fucking.
I refuse to be another pawn on the board of her game, and I knew she had ran it on plenty, her baby mother included.
She had relations with a few of my peers that she thought I didn't know about, the industry talked a lot and she had bodies under her belt.
A true busy body, loving the crew.
She had fucked on multiple women I was at odds with, how could I ever take somebody that had sexual relations with the opposition serious?
I couldn't even imagine ever popping out with her knowing me and these bitches shared intimacy with the same person.
She was bound to embarrass and disappoint.
I had no choice but to just enjoy her for the moment because I didn't see the longevity for us with her behavior and I could never set myself up for failure.
If I had learned anything in this life I knew that love was a losing game.
I couldn't fall for her.
"Yo you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine" I blink back into reality trying to silence my thoughts.
"You barely touched ya meal, you sure you good?" He seemed genuinely concerned which was sweet.
My plate was indeed full of food, my wine glass empty as I sat and thought completely tuning out his excited chatter.
He was always so delighted to be in my presence, it was so amusingly clear he had a little crush on me.
Prior to meeting him in person I was aware that he had used my name in some choice verses so I wasn't surprised at his adoration.
"Yea I'm just going to take this to go, I wasn't as hungry as I thought"
"You ready to go?"
"I am but if you're still indulging in your meal I don't mind waiting" I sweetly smile as politely as possible because I really wasn't trying to be rude.
