RETURN OF THE FEMALE KNIGHT

80. The name of the Emotion

'I want to see my family...'

She had spent those decades possessed with regret and anger. After experiencing a hellish life, she had a miraculous chance to turn her fortune. She decided she had to change her future at all costs, no matter the pain and sacrifice.

"When you become emperor...I hope that someday I will be able to explain it to you with a smile."

Jungkook's brow furrowed at the seriousness of her tone. So she couldn't tell him right now.

"You leave me with a big question."

"Forget about it for now. What's important is that I will support you immensely in your path to emperor."

Lalisa's eyes and Jungkook's complicated gaze met in midair.

A warm spring breeze blew past them, and Lalisa raised her hand to catch the stray locks from flying in the wind. Jungkook lifted his hand and arranged her fine golden hair. It was a special gesture without physical contact...

A strange feeling welled up within her. It was something that she had never felt before in her life.

...What is this?'

Lalisa stared up questioningly at Jungkook's finely sculpted face. His hand came slowly down as he arranged her hair, then his fingers traced her jawline. It was an action where she could barely feel his touch, but nevertheless, a small ripple pulsed through her mind.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll lose my anxiety over you."

"...!"

"I cannot stand it if the Empress tries to harm you in front of me."

"...Kookie."

Despite her soft voice, Jungkook pushed forward stubbornly.

"I don't understand what you're thinking right now. But there is one thing you are overlooking."

"...What is it?"

"Your safety."

"I care about that—"

"No, every time I've seen you so far, you seem to have no regard for yourself. I won't ask why you want to become empress anymore, but remember this one thing. "

There was a deep emotion in Jungkook's eyes that she could not identity.=

"Without you...there is nothing."

Kung kung kung.

The small ripple in her mind became a huge wave, and her red eyes widened. She never thought he would say such words to her. Lalisa was ready to jump into a fire holding a can of oil, but it was as if Jungkook was telling her to cherish herself first.

"..."

She found it difficult to conjure up something to say. After what she heard so far, should she be angry with him? Should she try to stop him from worrying unnecessarily? Or perhaps...

Should she say thank you?

Lalisa's thoughts tangled in her head, and her expression hardened as if she had been doused in cold water. Jungkook seemed to have mistaken her expression, however, and he lowered his hand with a bitter smile.

"I'll see you at dinner later."

It was part of their contract to eat a meal together every day. Jungkook parted first, with a promise of a next meeting.

She stood frozen on the spot, staring at his back until he disappeared.

'...Why did he sound like that? '

It was not the first time Jungkook worried about her. This time, however it felt different. He had said there was nothing without her, and to her ears it sounded like, 'You are more important than anything.'

Perhaps that was too generous of an interpretation. But whatever it meant...it moved her heart.

Kung kung kung kung kung.

Her heart pounded in her ribcage. She didn't know the name of the emotion when Jungkook touched her hair, but she knew now.

It was "thrill".

*

*

*

After Lalisa's wedding, the Blaise mansion was a hive of activity. The one who found himself busiest of all was the butler Bambam.

"Are you all set to enter the palace tomorrow?"

Nayeon answered with a vigorous nod.

"Yes."

The wedding completed, some of the servants prepared to arrive at the Imperial Palace to attend to Lalisa. Oftentimes when a noble was married, they took familiar servants from their own families, and Lalisa, as Crown Princess, would need more people to comfortably take care of her.

'The maids are almost ready...'

The list of maids going to the Imperial Palace had already been taken care of by Lalisa. A few other servants, however, were not well-acquainted with her, and she left it to Bambam to choose those who could be trusted. Bambam didn't think much of it, and told the Blaise household they needed more assistance at the Imperial Palace...

Jimin, who had been employed a while ago, volunteered. Bambam remembered how Roseanne's face was like death when she found out, and he pressed his fingers against his temple.

"What the hell is going to happen..."

Nayeon, who was standing opposite of Bambam, widened her eyes.

"Hm? What did you say?"

"N-nothing...."

Bambam confirmed that Nayeon was fully packed, then moved to check another maid's room.

"Rest well, Nayeon."

"Yes, thank you."

Bambam finally left the small room.

The door shut with a loud click, and Nayeon turned to the luggage case she had packed, a complicated expression on her face. She didn't have much, as she was given her daily necessities by the family she served.

"...Well."

Nayeon heaved a sigh, and then pulled out the item she had secretly hidden in the luggage case. It was a letter from Joy that had arrived unexpectedly last night. Joy was Daehyun's friend, and was currently in the employ Lady Selby. She had also previously worked for the Blaise family for a long time.

"Why is she sending me a letter now?"

She hadn't opened the envelope yet, and she wondered what was inside. When Daehyun had received a sudden letter from Daehyun, Joy had torn Lalisa's dress into pieces and fled.

A letter sat before Nayeon now. She was hesitant to read the contents, but discarding it felt like ignoring the camaraderie they had built. She considered telling Lalisa about it first, but she was worried it would be a mistake.

'Alright. I'll just take a look at it, and I'll tell her if it's anything strange.'

Fully resolved, Nayeon finally opened the sealed envelope.