The Barbarous Us-KTH FF (Book I)

SIXTY ONE

"Or shot." I smiled, causing Evelyn to glare at me, and I simply shrugged, it was true. Bullets spoke louder than words.

"Y/N, do you mind if we speak in private?" Jisoo asked me, oddly polite. I glanced over at Eunha and Evelyn who seemed just as shocked. Nodding, I stood, waiting for her to follow as I headed to the women's bathroom.

Taking off the stupid hat, I placed it on the counter before turning back to her. "Speak."

"I wanted to apologize for my hostility and for being—"

"A rude, immature bitch?" I asked, crossing my hands.

Her eyes narrowed at me, and it looked like she was trying her best to bite her tongue. "Yeah, for that, too."

"I won't accept your apology until I know why you're offering it." I turned back to the mirror trying to fix my hat hair.

"Because that is what grown people do? We apologize when we are wrong," she snapped before taking a deep breath.

"Well, I'm calling bullshit." I smiled. "You see, when people apologize and mean it, they don't need privacy. So I'm guessing Jin put you up to this. What did he say to make you try and humble yourself?"

"He—"

"Don't lie to me, Jisoo. I'm much better at it than you, and I have no problem breaking your head against this mirror. You can take a little drive to West Ridge and ask Sora if you don't believe me." I couldn't kill her, but I hated liars and would make that clear.

She stared at me wide-eyed and nodded. "Fine. A few months ago, Jin and I talked about it. I've been trying to stay out of your way, but I know we are going to have to speak sometime. I just . . . Jin wants me to make peace. I love Jin, so I will do it."

"What is with you all and bending to what your husbands want?" They really were Stepford wives.

"It's called love, Y/N," she snapped at me once again. "When you love someone, all you want is for them to be happy. That doesn't make you weak, and that doesn't make you an idiot. Taehyung is head over heels in love with you, he would die for you, and yet you cringe at the thought of it. Eunha and I are not G.I. Janes, and we can't walk on the dark side of the moon and come back okay. But at least neither of us are scared of love. So I'm saying sorry once again. I have to go home to my husband, have amazing sex, and see him smile."

She said nothing else before walking out. When she did, I turned to the mirror and stared at myself. I remembered a time when my life was so much easier.

TAEHYUNG'S POV

Most people—a lot of people—would be disgusted with what I did tonight. They would call me a monster, tell me I was heartless or cruel. But none of them knew the life I lived or walk down the same dimly lit streets as me. I was head of the family. I was the CAPO DEI CAPI. Which meant it fell on my shoulders to protect this family from past, present, and future nuisances. All you had to do was watch an old mafia movie to see how one loose end brought down some of the greatest empires there ever was.

Rule Two: Take no prisoners and have no regrets about it.

Anyone we captured were either killed or flipped to our side and used for intel. But after we got what we needed, they were killed anyway. Any man who can flip on his boss once can do it again. What made the Kims successful is that we had evolved past all the mistakes that had brought other greats down. We didn't cheat on our wives, and we didn't do any of the smack or drugs we sold. Those two things alone were things the mafia world was known for. However, it was also the first thing that brought them down. Everyone stayed clean, even the men closest to us. The men of our family had worked too hard to become what they were today for some junkie to snitch to the police to save his skin. Wives were key, because if you treated them right, they would live and die for you. I had no regrets for what I did. I didn't kill because I was a sick twisted motherfucker. Everything was for the betterment of the family.

Sighing, I played away on my piano. I came back late and I didn't feel like dealing with Y/N or anyone else for that matter. I thought she understood, but she just wrote it off like it was nothing. She was too focused on Jaemin and Saige. Yes, they were a huge problem, but we needed to cover all our bases. Jihun would just love it if we hung ourselves. He was trying to spread us out all over the globe. The more areas to cover, the more room for mistakes. I just needed to find an opening.

"You're going to wear out the keys," my wife called out behind me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I knew whatever she was wearing tonight would leave me smitten . . . fuck that . . . it would leave me fucking hungry for her.

I just kept playing. I wasn't even sure what it was. I just played. However, with each step she took, I could feel her like a wave of warmth behind me. I knew when her hand was hovering right over my head, and I leaned into it without thinking. She ran her fingers through my hair before stepping onto the seat next me. From there, she climbed onto the front of the piano, placing her legs on either side of me and forcing me to play while staring right at her. Damn her to hell.

"Y/N. . ."

"Do you love me?" she whispered, looking me dead in the eye. I froze. What could I say to that? If I lied, she would know. If I told her the truth, she would push me away. So I just played.

She slid down, the keys chiming as she hit them, until she was in my lap. Kissing me, she wrapped her legs around my waist.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, I love you. You don't have to say it back. I can wait."

She took a deep breath and dropped her head down.

"Y/N, I'm serious, you don't have to say it back now. I can wait." I tried to lift her chin, but she ripped her head from my hand.

"Y/N. . ."

"I'm not good at love," she whispered.

"I know, that's why I was waiting." I rubbed her thighs, not for anything sexual, but so she could feel me and know I was here holding her.

She ran her hand through her hair and sighed. "I've been working on it."

"I know that, too." I've watched as she peeled back layers of herself for me to see day by day.

Rising from my lap, she walked over to the window, and I missed her warmth.

"I've always been the strong one, Taehyung . I'm good at being the strong one. I don't want anyone to ever see me as weak or—"

"There is not a person alive who truly knows you that doesn't fear you or think you're weak," I whispered, stepping behind her. "What is wrong with you?"

"What if I was pregnant?" She turned to me quickly. "No one sees a pregnant woman and thinks, 'holy shit, this woman could kill me with her bare hands.' All they see is this . . . this incubator who stuffs her face and waddles like a penguin."

I laughed. "I would say like a duck, but a penguin works."

She hit my arm hard, and I laughed some more. She always made me truly laugh.

"Sweetheart, we still have a while before you're waddling like anything."

"Yeah, a little under seven months." She frowned, lifting up her shirt for me to see a tiny bump that was almost unnoticeable. I had seen her naked so many times I could tell.