The Peacekeeper

==> Make Decisions With Your Crazy Mind, Not Your Sane One

The party had lasted all night, leaving Dave and Karkat exhausted by the time they got home at six in the morning. The second they stepped through the front door Dave made a break for their bed, stripping out of his outside clothes and leaving a trail of garments in his wake. Although just as tired as him Karkat staggered on his way to bed. His mind was elsewhere and thankfully his matesprit was too tired to notice. When he finally managed to get himself over to bed he slid in and scooted close to Dave, snuggling into his back. He mumbled a goodnight and in the blink of an eye Dave was out like a light.

Karkat held him close as two very different versions of himself argued.

Let's go. We can go back home.

Just for a second stop and think about this.

Why think when we can go!

You don't fucking need this shit anymore.

Karkat bit his lower lip. He was right. Did he really need this anymore? Looking around he had to have had everything by now. He was happy, he had friends, he had a matesprit. What could he possibly gain from going back to Beforus? He just unloaded all the terrible things that had happened onto his friends and he was still thinking about going home?

Home.

Groaning, he slinked away from Dave and curled into himself, burying his face into his hands. Stupid fucking slip of the brain-tongue. This is home. He's been here a solar sweep or a year or whatever you want to call it! The point is home is here now.

But it wasn't always.

Neither was Beforus.

God. Karkat had to do something. He couldn't just lay here in utter mental agony. He couldn't just stay fetus-upped in bed while he decided whether or not to run away back to the scary alien planet like some fucked up Paradox space version of Stockholm syndrome. He had to tell someone something. He had to or else he'd do something so stupid he'd been shunned by everyone. But who? Who of his friends wouldn't immediately cause a panic and alert everyone or worst of all, tell Dave?

carcinoGeneticist[CG] began trolling timeausTestified[TT]

CG: ARE YOU BUSY?
TT: I'm always busy.
TT: However I might be able to move some stuff around to fit you into the schedule.
TT: Sorry, just checking my calendar.
CG: . . .
TT: Ahh, yep. We're good. You have me for an hour. What's up?
CG: HAHA, HILARIOUS FUCKING BIT. I'M LAUGHING SO HARD IT FEELS LIKE MY SIDES ARE GONNA SPLIT ME IN HALF.
CG: I THINK I'M FACING A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION.
CG: NOT LITERALLY BUT IT FEELS LIKE IT.
CG: IN FACT THE FEELING IS SO GODDAMN GINORMOUS AND TERRIBLE IF I HAD AN OPTION FOR MEGA CAPS LOCK I'D USE THAT.
TT: Must be some fucked ass shit you're dealing with.
CG: THE FUCKING ASS-EST.

Oh god.

Karkat dropped his phone onto his chest and looked up at the ceiling in horror. He just realized he'd have to say what was the matter if he wanted any help with this. But he couldn't just say 'I had Equius build a machine that'll take me back to Beforus and now I'm debating whether or not I should go!'. Could he? No, no. Come on Karkat. Think. Just think. What could he say that isn't that but something close so it'll still help him.

He could propose it as a hypothetical question but Dirk is too smart, he'd figure Karkat out within five minutes. What if Karkat made it so it sounded like he had another identity crisis? He could say he's unsure if he's still fully belongs here and that maybe it'd be best for him to go back? Maybe...or maybe Dirk would hit him with Karkat's top five reasons to hang around (Dave, stupid movies, wonderful food that's bad for you, his friends, freedom). Maybe Karkat could just say fuck it and straight up say: Hey I literally can go back to Beforus right now and I'm going fucking insane. But then what would Dirk say? Would he believe him? Would he go around ringing the church bells and alerting the villagers? And isn't it some sort of indicator that Karkat could easily answer his own questions? It's almost as if he knows the answer but something else, as uncertain as it is, is pulling harshly in the other direction.