The Peacekeeper

==> Sexy Evil Brain Ghost Clones Ruin Perfectly Good Mental Progress

"Thank god you're not busy." Dave was excited. This was huge, this was great. This was a bridge back to his youth when times were easier (not really) and he was happier (debatable).

"I mean. I am busy but..." Dirk opened up the ziploc bag and dumped its contents out, furrowing his brows at the destroyed watch spread across his work desk. "I figured whatever inspired you to break into my house was way more important than whatever other busy-work I have."

"I flew in through an open window, technically not breaking in."

"Still weird dude. What am I looking at anyway?" Dirk picked up the foam ass, squishing it between his fingers.

"My ass communicator. I made it back during my meteor days for me and Karkat. It was our string and tin cans for when we lost our actual string and tin cans."

"Huh. And you think I can fix this? Dude, all it's insides look like their either bent or completely broken in half. And just looking at, I can make a confident educated guess that I have no clue how this thing worked. It looked like it could've been made by monkeys who kind of followed a video tutorial and kind of just went fuckin' bananas."

"Bro, first of all fuck you, I did what I could with the shit I had. Secondly, you could fix this thing and then some." Dirk grinned.

"Yeah. I just like the words of affirmation." He sat down and began sorting the pieces into little piles. Salvageable and Dead. "How's it going with him anyway? It's been like three-ish, four-ish months since he's been back, yeah? Most of that was with you, right?"

"Yeah. Fuck, you haven't seen him this whole time huh? I mean, not that I'd think you'd want to since your only connection to him is me wailing about him."

"Well I mean I would've came over or even checked in with you sooner but I figured I'd leave you be since this such a, I dunno, full time thing?" He pulled out his phone, glancing at the piles and typing in his notes app. "Don't try to deny it, we may both be wearing super fucking dark sunglasses inside like douchebags but I can see you rolling your eyes and winding up a snarky response." Fuck. Dirk was good.

"I'm still going to deny it. I'm not spending every waking second on him."

"This is the first time my character has made an introduction to this whole shebang and I'm pretty sure other very important and close people in your life haven't had much of an appearance. Neither have the ones in his. I bet that up until now it's mostly been you and your troll lover in your apartment."

"Please, stop spreading lies. I go to work still, I hang out with my friends and call them."

"Uh-huh. Remind me again why you're going to work and not just using the trillions of dollars we have accumulated?"

"Because it's been a dream of mine to just live a day to day life like a normal dude. Also I use that money for the good of the community I helped forge. I pay for all public services and that's why we have free healthcare and no huge gaping holes in the road."

"Yeah. Yeah okay. What's your second job for then?"

"Wait how'd you hear about my second job? I literally just got hired earlier this week and don't start until next week."

"Oh. So I'm about to reveal something embarrassing but I spend way too much time in shitty stores aimed for angsty teens and I heard the employees talking about how it's 'soooo cool' that the very God of Time is going to be a part-time cashier there."

"You know hearing this makes me think you should take back your comment on how I'm the weirdo for flying into your house through an open window." Dirk rolled his eyes.