The Peacekeeper

==> Dave: Plan A Party

Dave was out again and Karkat was alone.

Their talk had helped, Dave thought so. He wasn't sure since his brain hasn't worked right since it happened, which was almost two weeks ago. Everything was weird and new between them. It was uncharted waters and they were trying their damnedest to sail to each other. But back to the situation at hand.

Dave was out and Karkat was home alone. After what had happened the last time, Dave was hesitant to leave him be. What if he had another terrible panic attack? What if this time it's worse? He didn't want Karkat to be alone on the off chance that the worst case scenario happened. He couldn't do anything though, Karkat had very clearly told Dave he didn't want to be babysat. In retrospect having three babysitters watch over you was incredibly demeaning. So Dave did nothing except swallow his fears and put his complete faith in Karkat. He told him he'd be gone and exactly how long. He spent his sweet time saying goodbye before he managed to pull away. This was fine though, it'd all be fine. Dave just had to take a step back and trust that Karkat would be fine and if he wasn't, he knew where to go.

Karkat didn't like being alone. He didn't like it as a kid and he certainly didn't like it now. Being alone meant a high chance of him freaking out. He might do something stupid and hurt himself. He might see them again. But he'd rather be alone than have to endure such pitiful stares from those who once knew him. Besides, he wanted this. He didn't like it but he needed it. If he wanted any chance in not having to burden his friends with rotating grub-watch duty he had to roll up his sleeves and trudge on through.

Karkat had a plan, a shitty not quite put together plan but the exact details didn't really matter. After the other day he was determined to stop being such a big baby who suffered in silence and just talk. Dave was right, he wasn't making this easy by shutting down and refusing to ever say anything. They were both big babies who hated having to think about the terrible things in their lives so they just tried to push them down or away in hopes that they'd just dissipate and everything would be okay without ever having to feel bad. Obviously this was unrealistic. Karkat had to face his traumas one way or another and if he wanted any chance of starting to feel better or feel like a normal person he had to start trying to talk even if it makes him want to scratch his own eyes out.

He emptied the contents of his sylladex out onto Dave's floor once before he dug around every hiding spot he had in the room. He needed a fresh start, he needed to see the very objects of his past and just try to get used to being aware of it. He wanted to talk to Dave about everything as soon as he could but a clean sylladex is a reflection of a clean mind. At least this is what he was telling himself.

When Karkat was positive everything he currently owned was out for the world to see he realized he had way more junk than he thought. A majority the stuff on the floor were weapons, mainly swords. He didn't know why he had ever bothered to keep swords he found or even why he refused to get rid of any of them. It could've been because a sword was Dave's choice of weapon and Karkat needed something, even if he needed it subconsciously. It could've been because there were so many trolls who used swords that when they died during combat their weapons were just free for the taking. Whatever the reason he had them, and he had way too many.

One sword stood out. It's curved blade with sharp little teeth and cerulean blood just begged for Karkat's attention. He froze, eyes fixated on the weapon. The last time he had seen it, touched it even, was when he killed its master. He could feel the exact memory starting to seep forward into his brain so he quickly popped it back into his sylladex.

He had to keep trudging forward.

Something else had caught his attention, a beautifully crafted black metal lance. It was a gift for a certain bronze blood who had recently begun working closely with Karkat. He was meant to receive it on the day he received his title as The Cavalier but sadly the time would never come. The Tavros Nitram who's eagerness to learn everything the infamous Peacekeeper had to offer trumped his serious lack of confidence and fear of everything. Of course at the time Karkat had no idea what to do. He wasn't a teacher and everything he had done up until that point had just been out of pure adrenaline and an insane amount of luck. He did his best though and helped mold this freaky little troll into his future replacement as an army general and Karkat had to admit he was proud. This only made the stinging realization that he would never have the satisfaction of seeing Tavros in action hurt more.