The Peacekeeper

Karkat: Throw Them A Bone

Neither Dirk nor Karkat told Dave about their unplanned park hang out. It was for the best, Karkat decided, so Dave wouldn't freak out that Karkat's sneaking around or that he might get hurt taking hours long walks in a city he has never explored before. Either way Karkat was happy with his outing. He gave himself something to do to keep his mind off the terrible terrible things and it worked! He even made a new friend (really they called each other acquaintances but they knew what they were) who even came over and helped Karkat fix the hole he punched in the wall the other day. It was a miracle Dave hadn't noticed it, all Karkat did was move a picture frame to hide it. This wasn't the only benefit of having Dirk Strider around.

The troll would never, in a billion sweeps, admit that the breakthrough advice he got was from some douchebag in the park with stupid looking sunglasses and the hair of an anime character. He would never utter the words 'Dirk Strider helped me realize that I shouldn't have to feel bad all the time', not even quietly to himself at the top of the tallest mountain if he was the last troll on planet Earth C. But it's what happened. Their conversation played on repeat in Karkat's head for a few days before he decided to take action. Dirk was right (ugh), he shouldn't have to feel bad, he shouldn't have to feel like he deserves to feel bad, he didn't need to punish himself everyday. He could live.

Still not out of bed, he rolled over and wrapped himself in the stupid blanket he took out of his boxes. He hadn't let Dave see it, shoving it into the closet every time he was done using it and only using it when he was locked in Dave's room for the night (or day, they lived on their own time). But why? Why hide this hideous franken-fabric? Because he was scared? That was the reason behind most of his actions. He curled deeper into himself and let the warmth of the bed and blanket consume him, exhaling deeply. This was nice, but it could definitely be nicer.

An hour later and he was ready to start his day at four in the afternoon. His confidence from earlier was slipping the second he left the safety of the blanket. It only dropped more when he made his way into Dave's respiteblock and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He did his business but didn't leave the room, still staring himself down in the reflective hell. Who was this strange troll he was seeing in the mirror? It wasn't him, it couldn't be. He was the runt of the litter with a scowl so permanently embedded onto his face he was probably hatched with it. He was a soulless pawn for the empire and it's war who was willing to do anything so long as he could feel useful and alive. The guy in the mirror was a stranger. He shared the same scars and brands, he shared the same furrow in his bushy brows, but he wasn't Karkat. And yet, after everything he's been through, it's always been Karkat.

"This is stupid." Karkat whispered aloud to himself, leaning forward as he gripped the edges of the sink to keep him steady. Sighing deeply, his forehead pressed against the cool mirror. What was he doing? What was he feeling? He didn't know. He was feeling antsy, he needed to do something. Not anything dangerous or too stupid, just something.

It was like a switch had flipped. Something inside of him answered his call and it was moving Karkat's body for him. It marched him into his room and grabbed the crab communicator off the nightstand. Just as Karkat was about to turn the sucker on, the burst of energy had drained and all that was left was a strong pull downward of uncertainty. He caught glimpse of his absurdly huge husktop, maybe it was finally time to dust off Trollian. Maybe it'd be better to toss his friends some line of communication instead of bugging Dave. He chewed his lip and sat down on the bed.

Let's say Trollian was chosen. Let's say he booted it up and opened up a memo on some random fucking board. What then? What would he say? If not that then who would get to be blessed with a one-on-one conversation with him? Seriously though, what the FUCK would he say? And who would he even talk to? Again, his body took over. His mind kept trying to figure out what would happen while plugged in his charger and booted up his husktop. The very second he could, Karkat opened up Trollian. Wow. Holy shit. It's just like he remembered. But now what? He was here. He was online. What was next? All he could do was read and re-read the names of his friends with absolutely— why the fuck did all their handles brighten up and why did they all have little green dots next to their names and why did this all happen at the exact same time??