Living in your universe - BTS OT7 x reader

The mask falls

Your heart stopped and an endless warmth flooded your body. Your eyes widened. The tingles rushed from your hand into every part of you. Butterflies bubbled up from your stomach and mixed with the tingles into one beautiful chaos of emotions.

"I fell so hard I was scared."

Suddenly a memory blazed through your head, triggered by his heartfelt words.

"Hobi tries to be very cheerful and I do think he really is. But not all the time. He masks his insecurities and his fears, probably the best out of all of us."

It made so much sense now. All his actions. His warning about losing control. Him always being strong, cheerful, and considerate, but in the background.

"So you hid it?" With an incredulous look, you shook your head.

"Y-yeah." He sighed again. An apologetic expression on his face. "I hid my true feelings so well, even I didn't fully grasp them until you had been defiled by this lunatic woman and fell into depression. I hid it from everyone. Trying to numb my emotion with lust. Trying to dodge the bullet over confronting myself and why I always was so sad when I couldn't be near you like the others. "

This got you thinking. There was something you remembered just very faintly in the back of your mind. When warm water was washing over your body and your mind slipped into a serene state of sleep. Hmm...what was it?

"The Hastag, love?" Yoongi suddenly asked with a very sad undertone. Your thoughts were interrupted and you looked at the mint-haired rapper confused.

"Hashtag?"

"#kickoutjhopeBTS..." Hoseok mumbled defeated.

Anger rushed up in your veins and your hands started to clench together instantly.

"It's okay, Y/N. Don't get angry again." Yoongi chuckled and drove over your back soothingly. "I heard you almost injured yourself the last time you heard about it. No need."

"But..." You tried but Hoseok stopped you by laying a finger softly on your lips.

"No, sunshine. Don't bother. The haters don't deserve any kind of reaction. Just ... let me explain."

With a low growl, you nodded defeated, your hands still clenched.

"I really care about the opinion of others. Especially my bandmates, friends, and loved ones." He sighed. "I was so unsure about my feelings. And what I wanted from you. In the beginning, it was easy." The vulnerable expression he had on his face quickly changed into a boyish grin. "You are a very sexy woman. I found and find you hella attractive and I wanted and want to fuck you very hard, most and foremost."

His crass words made you laugh. Only he could let his careful confession suddenly sound so damn hot.

"But then something changed and feelings I couldn't quite understand mixed into the lust. Something deep. Consuming. But very confusing. And I just had the feeling, I ... I wasn't worthy of you. I wasn't enough. My feelings weren't enough. That the others were much better and worthier than me, to take your time and be beside you. That they would be hurt if I gave you less than they gave you. Just like this dumb hashtag trend tried to implant in my brain."

"No, Hobi you are - -" You tried to say under his long fingers pressed to your lips. But he quickly shook his head and chuckled

"I know, Y/N. I am enough. I know that now. And I know that you are the last person judging me for not being certain all the time. You are a generous, patient, beautiful woman. And you are more than capable of deciding who you want to spend time with yourself. I shouldn't have tried and decided for you. Sorry...love."