"너가 내게 준 불안과 그리움 또 pills and wine
웃으면서 꿀꺽 삼키어본다"
03/12/2023
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she didn't even remember how she found the cassette player or how she ended up sitting here watching little cassette videos that she had encountered after finding a screen attachment. it was literally history boxes that stored bigger significance than a video tape on a random sd card. little old renjun and her matching outfits with the same pissed off and unamused expression that they could possibly have had at that age. these were tapes from them spending summer here ever since it was available. yet she had never seen these before. a mini relic of time.
she didn't even know why her parents recorded this for a cassette tape. maybe it was the little bit of nostalgia that wiped over her parents for this entire ordeal. cute. she was so young and soft looking. a total 180 from who she was now. if only she could warn the person she called her little me.
hearing her phone go off, she turned off the player and tucked her phone at her ear. she'd been spending her time at this beach for a little over 2 months at this point. she healed and recovered fairly well, no longer wanting or feeling the requirement for alcohol to be her saving grace in her sad grey world.
"hello?" she assumed it was renjun. it was always renjun these days anyways. and biya and her other modeling friends who had been wondering why she went on a sudden vacation and hiatus as well. simple check ups from people around her you know?
"you should go open the front door. there's something there for you. i just wanted to call you, but i'm fairly busy right now. sorry jie." she knew how much of a hassle it must be to manage your career and make sure your sister didn't accidentally kill herself. "don't worry, i'm not bothered." she reassured, smiling simply as she clicked the call off.
putting the player back on the table, she climbed off the floor in curiosity. what could it be? she assumed it was food and she was upright hoping it was food, pulling on a longer shirt to go over the fact that she was lounging around in nothing but a sports bra and shorts.
opening the door, she ran a hand through her extremely grown out hair. it almost doubled in length since her last shoot. "hello? where do i need to si-" expecting it to be a food delivery, she was promptly startled by the familiar face. widening her eyes, she couldn't even think anymore. her heart was beating faster than the speed of light and it was like time stopped the minute he appeared.
backing up, her hand was still stuck on the door handle. she had hyped herself up for the day that something like this would happen, yet here she was, trembling and uncertain. "yujie." he referred to her first. she hadn't heard his voice in what seemed like ages, yet it sounded smoother than it was the last time they met. how did he manage to become more attractive?
"d.. donghyuck," she could barely voice out properly, "i see, you're here?" she wasn't 100% certain on the words she spoke. "yeah. i thought about coming over, but renjun was well. being renjun." he spoke without hesitation, like she was just a friend he was catching up with. that hurt her soul and heart, a lot. like all the emotions she currently felt were just pitiful feelings. it just didn't make sense, and never did make sense.
"you should.. come in." she made room for him to enter. she kinda wished she was wearing nicer clothes. or anything. he was dressed so confidently and nicely, and she was still emotionally recovering. seeing him take in the overall area of what he could see, she could see him sigh and almost look with displeasure at how she was currently living. what the hell? "you ran to a place like this, but didn't even take care of yourself." ran. implication that she ran away from her problems. who the fuck was this. what position was he in to even say that?
