nobody but you (mattheo x femreader)

chapter 31

y/n's pov:

hours went by. i read. i played around with talías guitar. i organised my wardrobe. once i finally took a shower and changed into a top and some sweatpants it was way to cold up in my dorm.

i wandered down to the common room and sat down by the fire, fiddling with my ring. i hate thinking about any thing to do with my mother but it was times like this that it was hard not to.

the creak of a floorboard came from behind me, making me jump. it was just mattheo, "you okay?" he frowned, sitting down beside me.

"mhm" i nodded, "just thinking"

"about?" he asked, nudging me in the arm.

i shot him a frown before shaking my head, "nothing important"

he didn't say anything, but i could tell he wanted to.

"ugh it's been to quiet all day" i groaned reaching for the radio that was on the table a meter away. the channels were mostly just various talk shows or political debates but i finally found one that was playing a soft jazz type of thing.

we sat there in a comfortable silence. that is until he said, "so how's fred?"

"what?" i asked laughing at the lack of lead up. his expression was serious but his eyes glanced from the floor to mine. "i wouldn't know, i haven't seen him in a while" i shrugged, turning away from him. "how's april?" i mumbled, without thinking about it.

he shook his head with a laugh, not surprised by the question. "she probably wouldn't tell me even if i asked"

i glanced back at him, more than a little curious now as to what actually happened.

"do you want to hear what happened?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at me.

"no. not really." i snapped, watching the fire again.

"okay" he mumbled leaning back on his hands. "so where the hell did you learn self defence?" he asked.

his head was slightly tilted and his eyes completely oblivious to anything other than me. "i used to have a friend who needed a place to stay so we lived together for a while and he taught me"

"where is he now?" he asked, his voice soft like he already knew the answer.

i lay back on the floor, staring up at the ceiling "he got into it with some dodgy people" i shrugged, "i never told anyone what happened i moved away and saw his case in the news a few weeks later. they said it was a suicide."

he lay down beside me, "that sucks i'm sorry" he whispered. i didn't blame him for not knowing what to say.

"yeah. y'know you kind of remind me of him actually" i whispered, looking back into his eyes finally. i felt his hand move slightly closer to mine, his fingers brushing against my skin. his hands were soft. warm. i slid my hand into his, squeezing it gently.

his eyes glanced down at my lips for a fraction of a second but that was enough to wake me up. i turned back to the ceiling pulling my hand away. my heart was racing.

mattheo's pov:

my heart was racing. why did i do that she was finally talking to me and i had to ruin it. as soon as her hand left mine i felt this unconscious need to have it back.

the air was tense but for some reason she didn't get up and leave. i couldn't help but glance at her every so often. the light from the fire made her skin glow, her chest was rising and falling softly and her bottom lip was ever so slightly trapped between her teeth. i hated that i couldn't do anything right now. speak to her, kiss her, nothing it wasn't my place.

i watched as she rolled onto her side, resting her head on her hands. i wish she'd just tell me what she was thinking.

after a few minutes passed i think she'd fallen asleep. i reached over to the sofa and took one of the pillows off from it, placing it gently under her head, tucking her hair out of the way.

almost immediately after i lay back down, she stirred. rolling onto her other side so her cheek was on my chest and her leg resting over mine.

the feeling of her breathing against my neck sent shivers down my spine. i leant my head all the way back against the floor, taking a moment to make sure this was actually happening. she looks so kind and peaceful when she's asleep.